Jerrad Lopes - Stop Behaving: A Gospel-Centered Devotional for Change That Lasts

Table of Contents

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE , OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Cover art and design by Bryce Williamson

Interior design by KUHN Design Group

Stop Behaving

Copyright 2017 by Jerrad Lopes

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97408

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-8314-3 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-8315-0 (eBook)

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TO THE HUMBLE MEN OF THE DAD TIRED COMMUNITY

CONTENTS

Days One Through Five | Learn

R ead through one chapter each day. Using the Prayers | Thoughts | Reflections time, write down everything that comes to mind when you read the chapter. Dont overthink it. This is a good time to list specific changes that you feel need to be made in your own life. Then write out specific prayers for your heart, your wife, your kids, and your work.

Day Six | Gather

M eet up with some friends who are also going through the book. There are questions at the end of each week to help keep the conversation flowing. Talk about what youve learned and how it applies to your lives.

Day Seven | Rest

D ont skip this part. Resting reminds us that we are saved by the work of Christ, not our own. Ive intentionally left one day open each week for you to sit and remember what Jesus has done on your behalf. Spend time reflecting on what youve learned and how it affects your life. Thank God for saving you by his grace, not by your good behavior.

I f youve been around the church world for a while, youve probably been told that you need to join an accountability group. These groups typically include three to five guys who meet once a week and check in on each others behavior.

Did you lust?

Did you look at porn?

Did you cuss?

Did you lose your temper?

Years ago, as a young member of a church pastoral staff, I was part of a mandatory accountability group with some of the other pastors. During one of our times together, one of the pastors asked me bluntly, Are you having sex with your girlfriend?

Fortunately I wasnt, so I could honestly answer no. But it was awkward to say the least. The whole session lasted about ten minutes before we quickly moved on to lighter topics.

I understand the point of accountability groupswe want to be the best men we can be, and we know that if someone else is going to ask us hard questions, we are less likely to do dumb things.

There is just one major problemaccountability groups almost always address our behavior and very rarely deal with our hearts.

Jesus dealt with the same problem during his time here on Earth. Some of the religious leaders of his day, called Pharisees, tried to manage the behavior of the people who wanted to follow God. They loved rules. So much so, in fact, that they added their own set of rules to the list of things God had already instructed them to do. The more they followed the rules and managed their behavior, the more righteous they felt.

Jesus was clearly more concerned with peoples hearts than their behavior. In one of his teachings, he told the religious leaders that if a person lusted after a woman, then they had already committed adultery in their heart. Or if they hated someone, they were already guilty of murder. On one occasion, he called them whitewashed tombs, saying they looked clean on the outside, but their hearts were wicked (Matthew 23:27).

Instead of an accountability group, team up with some guys who can point you toward Jesus and remind you of the gospel. The groups intention should be to ask why, not what. Ask questions that address the heart, not the behavior.

Why do you feel compelled to look at porn?

Why do you want to overwork and neglect your family?

Why did you lose your temper?

This book is not meant to manage your behavior. Behavior management is exhausting and only leads to pride or shame. It leads to pride when you are disciplined enough to follow the rules and begin to convince yourself that youre a better Christian than the rest of us. Or it leads to shame when you, like many of us, screw up over and over again. Jesus wants to free you from both your pride and your shame. You dont need behavior management. You dont need more rules to follow. You need Jesus to change your heart. Im convinced that if I can point you toward Jesus, and if you are willing to humble yourself enough to draw near to him, he can and will change your heart. And according to Jesus, a changed heart is the source of changed behavior.

To get the most out of this book each week, read one devotion on days one through five and write a brief prayer or other thoughts that come to mind. On day six, meet up with some guys who are also going through this book, and talk about what youve learned and how it applies to your life. Ive included some questions to help keep the conversation going.

As I mentioned earlier, dont skip day seven. Use this time to build into your life the important habits of resting in Christ, reflecting on what youre learning, and thanking God for what he has done for you.

My prayer for you is that as you seek Jesus during these next 28 days, you will find him in new ways. I pray that you will be released from the heavy burden of behavior modification and will begin to walk freely in the overwhelming grace of Jesus Christ.

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