Daniele Bolelli - Not Afraid: On Fear, Heartbreak, Raising a Baby Girl, and Cage Fighting

Bolelli is a genius warrior philosopher. What he talks about here is the opposite of a victim's mentality. By sharing the emotionally apocalyptic experiences he has gone through, he gives a gift to anyone who is struggling with the dragon of fear and sadness. Everyone please listen, open your ears, and open your hearts to the incredible, the brilliant, and the super sweet Daniele Bolelli.

Duncan Trussell, comedian and host of The Duncan Trussell Family Hour

Not Afraid is an adventure story of the truest, deepest sort. In recounting his story with enormous courage, sincerity, and wit, Daniele Bolelli reminds us that real adventure always involves great risk and, often, unimaginable loss. Life's toughest adventures aren't the mountains we set out to climb or the jungles we explore; they're the quiet challenges that come looking for us where we live. You've never read a story like this or known a man like this. I recommend both without hesitation.

Chris Ryan, New York Times bestselling author of Sex at Dawn

An inspiring life story about overcoming fear. This is a necessary task, no matter what you do in life. Whether you are an amateur or professional athlete, you will be able to draw many similarities to your sport. At the same time, this book gives us a great reminder to enjoy the ride while it lasts. Well done, Daniele, you did it again!

Botjan Nachbar, professional basketball player

A true warrior poet, Daniele bleeds on these pages with fearless vulnerability and uncensored humor. The narrative starts with the challenges of a sensitive little nerd overcoming his fear to turn pro in the realest combat sport in the world, building momentum as it carries the reader through his epic struggle with the death of his true love.

Aubrey Marcus, writer and CEO of Onnit.com

The honesty and authenticity in Daniele's writing is truly inspirational. Most books about life are written with kid gloves and give us old-school clichs to handle adversity. He gives us an honest look into the pain, heartache, and process of fighting back against things that would bring most to their knees. Everyone can relate to the feelings and thoughts Daniele displays. We can only hope to someday have his strength and conviction to come through and thrive!

AJ Hawk, 2011 Super Bowl champion with the Green Bay Packers

Praise for Create Your Own Religion

With a cheerful, good-natured smile, Daniele Bolelli torpedoes the often luxurious but spiritually leaky battleships that sailed under the various flags of the world's organized religions.

Tom Robbins, author of Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates, Jitterbug
Perfume, Still Life with Woodpecker, and several other books

The perfect cure to liberate our minds.

Mike Vallely, professional skateboarder and wrestler, stuntman, and actor

Create Your Own Religion challenges the pitfalls of blind faith.

Ben Harper, Grammy awardwinning singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist

Daniele Bolelli is in the house. Minds will be blown. Lives will be changed.

Joe Rogan, host of The Joe Rogan Experience
and Fear Factor, UFC commentator

Daniele Bolelli's book is a joy to read. It is clearly written and engaging, filled with humor and thought-provoking ideas. The questions he raises and the dialogue he creates is not only worthwhile but, I believe, essential.

Shannon Lee, Bruce Lee's daughter and CEO of Bruce Lee Enterprises

Published by Disinformation Books,

an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

with offices at:

65 Parker Street, Suite 7

Newburyport, MA 01950

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright 2015 by Daniele Bolelli. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-938875-13-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data available upon request.

Interior and text design by Frame25 Productions

Cover images: heart Chuhail/Shutterstock; baby carriage Janis

Abolins/Shutterstock; black belt Cristouao/Shutterstock

Printed in Canada

MAR

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Disinformation is a registered trademark of The Disinformation Company Ltd.

www.redwheelweiser.com

www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

For Isabella

Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written with his blood.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Long as you're not afraid, nobody can run your life for you. Remember that. Hell is being scared of things. Heaven is refusing to be scared. I mean that literally.... Now you know my religion.

Tom Robbins

Isabella Interlude 1: Isabella and Buddhism

Isabella Interlude 2: Kate Upton

Isabella Interlude 3: Iz Is My Hero

Isabella Interlude 4: Empathy

Isabella Interlude 5: Lullaby

Isabella Interlude 6: Another Day at the Office

Isabella Interlude 7: Bad Words

Isabella Interlude 8: The Next Jimi Hendrix

Isabella Interlude 9: Clear Plans for the Future

Isabella Interlude 10: Mulan and Being Like Other Girls

Isabella Interlude 11: Dog Costume

Isabella Interlude 12: A Four-Year-Old Dose of Reality

Isabella Interlude 13: Orlando Furioso

Isabella Interlude 14: Mama Dreams

Isabella Interlude 15: Yakuza Style

Isabella Interlude 16: The Hobbit

Isabella Interlude 17: Kids and Nightmares

Isabella Interlude 18: Facing Fear with Pink Band-Aids

Isabella Interlude 19: Cannibalism

Hell showed up in my life unannounced. No warnings. No sense of impending doom. No bursting through the door screaming, I have arrived! My hell favored a subtle approach. It was a ninja who entered my house without being seen. It all began in such an unremarkable way that it barely registered as anything meaningful. Little did I know that the experiences of the next five months would rip me apart and kill me. They would also reforge me into a different man. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

On that day, I became an unwilling traveler on a journey through the heart of fear. This book is the account of that journey. Every step along that path has forced me to face my fears time and time again.

Numerous people have pushed me to write about this. For a long time, I didn't see the point. A memoir? The thought made me want to throw up. It smacked of inflated ego, exaggerated sense of self-importance, and plain vanity. I was sure you'd have better things to do than to worry about the details of my life. Everyone has a story. And everyone runs into tragedy sooner or later. I didn't see anything unique in my own tale.

For a while, I thought about writing a philosophical dissertation about fearsomething more universal and less personal. But as Friedrich Nietzsche suggests in the opening quote, philosophy doesn't amount to much unless it comes straight from one's veins. If philosophy is not written with one's blood, then it's just idle chatteruseless noise. And nothing induces a writer to spill his guts on the page as much as addressing his own personal experience.

In the course of multiple podcast appearances, I noticed that whenever I spoke about ideas, people politely paid attention and may have been interested. But whenever I spoke about personal experiences, people were touched in ways I had never anticipated. Over time, I've received countless emails from individuals struggling with a myriad of terrible things in their livesfrom dying relatives to their own dire health conditions, from lost jobs to heartbreaks, from fighting addictions to heavy depressions. And each time, they'd tell me how hearing about my own struggles encouraged them during desperate times. I still didn't really see why that was, but the fact that I was clearly too stupid to understand it was no reason to stop doing something that seemed to help people. And so, in this book, personal experience it is.