Ted ONeal - When Bad Things Happen: A Guide to Help Kids Cope

When Bad Things Happen A Guide to Help Kids Cope Ted ONeal Illustrated by R. W. Alley Abbey Press To Neal, Neal, Orange Peel, with love and laughter. A Message to Parents, Teachers,
and Other Caring Adults As parents, teachers, guardians of our children, we try to guard them from lifes many evils. And yet we cantand we mustntshelter our children completely from all hurt. What we can and must do instead is be protectors, healers, and teachers of our children to the best of our abilitiesin good times and in bad.

Keeping children from serious injury, neglect, and danger is a major responsibility for parents and teachers. Of course, it is also true that little children can learn big lessons from lifes smaller tumbles and fumbles. As we adults know, some things must be learned the hard way or they are not learned at all. If a child were sheltered from every danger or pain, for instance, he or she would never get needed immunizations; or venture out into the cold snow to play and have fun; or face a demanding teacher or coach and learn about coping, working hard, and meeting goals. Beyond all this, truly bad things do happen in life. Children can be hurt, confused, and sometimes seriously challenged by lifes big hurts: the death of a dear one, an accident or an illness, the separation of ones parents, natural disasters, neighborhood crimes.

This coping guide for kids aims at helping them with these bigger hurts. The series of short, illustrated sections first present the child with a basic understanding of lifes good and bad and in-betweens. The book then introduces a wide range of positive coping skills and responses to various hurts and harms of life. In the end, the reader will learn helpful ways of responding to personal injuries and insults, as well as how to be a more understanding, adaptable, and caring person, no matter the circumstances. Life is good is the major lesson of these pages. It is good, despite bad things that happen, because we human beings can learneven when we are very smallhow to cope, how to love, how to grow.

Ted ONeal Good Times, Bad Times N ot everything goes right in the world, does it? Sometimes things go so wrong that even the big people who care about us cant seem to fix them. M aybe one of your favorite toys gets broken, or your report card has some grades that are not so great. Maybe you get sick or hurtor your mom or dad or grandparent does. S unshine is part of lifeand so are thunderstorms. There are good times and there are bad times. However You Feel Is Okay W hen something very bad happens, you might want to cry or yell or run away and hide. However You Feel Is Okay W hen something very bad happens, you might want to cry or yell or run away and hide.

You might have stomachaches or nightmares. You might feel:

confused	scared
tired	sick
bored	guilty
angry	lonely
sad	ashamed
worried

A ll these feelings are normal. You dont need to be ashamed or afraid of them. Talk about your feelings with someone close to you. Why? I ts hard to understand why Grandma got sick, or why you have to move far away from friends. Ask your mom or dad to help you understand.

E ven if you know the reasons, you dont have to like what happened. You can understand that your cat was hit by a car, but you will still feel mad and sad. Y ou might think you made a bad thing happen. If it rains on the day your dad takes you to a ballgame, you may feel like you are being punished somehow. B ut rain just happens, and so do some bad things. There isnt any good reason.

It isnt anybodys fault. You didnt cause it by being bad, and you cant undo it by being good. Help Yourself D ont let your worry, anger, or sadness be a secret. Even if grown-ups seem too busy to listen, make sure they know how you feel. You might be surprised to find out that they feel the same as you. S ome of your questions might upset people, because they arent sure how to answer them.

And some grown-upsno matter how much they care about youjust dont know how to talk about bad things. I ts still good to find out how people are feeling and thinkingeven if they are confused. Its good to know that you are not the only one feeling bad. Its good to know that you are safe and loved and will always be cared for. Help Others E ach of us has special gifts to help us bring kindness to the world. When bad things happen, the world needs LOTS of kindness! C an you write a letter to someone who is sad or sick or worried? Could you visit and talk with him or her? D o you remember the nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty? He had a great falland all the kings horses and all the kings men couldnt put Humpty together again.

Y ou may not be able to put things together again either. But do what you can to help, even if its something very small. Just trying will make you feel better.