Ted ONeal - Respect: Dare to Care, Share, and Be Fair!

Ted ONeal is the father of three children, and author of the Elf-help book Garden Therapy. He lives in southern Indiana and has written for various family publications. Jenny ONeal, the respectful and much-respected daughter of Ted ONeal, is a student majoring in child psychology at Indiana University.

R. W. Alley is the illustrator for the popular Abbey Press adult series of Elf-help books, as well as an illustrator and writer of childrens books. He lives in Barrington, Rhode Island, with his wife, daughter, and son. See a wide variety of his works at: www.rwalley.com.

What IS Respect?

W hen you hear the word respect, you might think of a servant bowing down and paying respect to the king in a fairy tale. Respect can mean bowing down, but it has other meanings, too.

R espect is what is called a virtue. Its a good way to beand a way to be good. Its a way to care about others, ourselves, and our world. When we have the virtue of respect, we try to treat people and our whole world with extra love and kindness.

S howing respect might mean standing up and giving an older person your seat, or holding the door for someone. Respect also means being polite, being a good sport, being honest and fair.

The Golden Rule

T he Golden Rule goes like this: Do to others as you want others to do to you. That means: Try to treat others the same way you want them to treat you. When you follow the Golden Rule, you show respect. You care about other peoples feelings and rights.

F or example: If you borrow a friends video game, you need to take care of it just as if it was your own. When you return it, you say, Thanks for letting me use thisjust like you would want your friend to do if he borrowed your video game.

S ome kids may make fun of you for being nice or polite to others, but you can just ignore them. Following the Golden Rule is caring and cool!

How to Show Respect

Y ou show respect when you play the game your cousin wants to play even if its not your favorite one. You treat a new classmate with respect by saying hello and talking to him. You are respectful toward your sick neighbor when you give her flowers to show you care.

R espect can also mean showing appreciation. When you say to your friend, We sure had fun sled-riding! this is a way of thanking him for being your friend.

E ven being ready on time when your friend comes to pick you up is a way of showing respect. You care enough about him that you dont want to keep him waiting.

What NOT to Do

S ome things are NOT respectful: teasing, yelling, being rude, not waiting your turn, fighting, leaving your room a mess.

R espect means NOT making fun of the things other people like to dolike when your Dad is watching a boring TV show, or your brother is pretending to be Ken Griffey, Jr.

S ometimes kids do things with friends that they would never do on their own. They might go along with the crowd and say mean things about a classmate or throw rocks at a neighbors car. But respect means doing whats right no matter who you are with.

Different Is GOOD!

I f your classmate likes to put ketchup on macaroni, that doesnt mean he deserves to be teased. People are different and like different things. Maybe some things you do seem strange to other people!

I ts hard to understand how other people can like different things than we do. But everyone deserves respecteven people with funnycolored bedrooms, weird hair, or strange clothes.

W e can all have different opinions, tastes, and feelings and still get along. In fact, you might even find out that ketchup on macaroni is good!

Try to Understand

R especting other people means trying to understand themto feel what they feel. One good way to understand someone is to make believe that you are that person.

I f Dad cooks something you dont like, pretend that you are a parent, trying to feed your family healthy food. Maybe you are tired after working all day, or in a hurry. How do you feel when someone calls your cooking yucky?

I f your sister is crabby, try to understand why. Maybe she doesnt feel well, or she had a really hard test at school. Maybe she would even like to talk about ita little later when shes in a better mood.

Magic Words

T here are some magic words that will take you far in the worldand make other people feel good, too. They are words like Please, Thank you, Excuse me, Im sorry. Words like Move! or Shut up! are not magic words. They just upset people.

M any of us are taught to say, Good morning and Good night to everyone in our family. Its also nice to say, Hello, when you come home from school or a friends house. Try to at least say, Im home, instead of asking right away, Whats for dinner?

T he words we use have the power to hurt peopleor to heal people. Out of respect, we try to use good words instead of bad words.

Pay Attention

J ust paying attention to someone is a good way to show respectespecially when youre busy or would rather be doing something else.

T ry to listen to your brother, instead of interrupting him. Try to notice when someone looks nice, or does a good job. If you tell your mom, I like the way your hair looks, it makes both of you feel good.

P ractice respecting your teacher. Pay attention instead of talking or doodling in your notebook. Raise your hand instead of yelling out answers.

A nimals need respect, too. Pay attention to your pets. Remember to feed them, give them baths, and play with them.

When Youre Angry

I ts good to share your feelings with peoplein a respectful way. That can be hard when you dont agree with them or feel angry. But there are ways to share your feelings and care for others feelings at the same time.

I nstead of saying something like, How come you bumped into me, Stupid? you could say, That really hurt when you bumped into me. Will you please be more careful?

Respect for the Whole World

R espect means believing that every person on earth has value. It means understanding that the world belongs to all of us and we belong to the worldand we all belong to God.