Emerson Eggerichs - Love and Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need

Contents

LOVE &

RESPECT

in the

family

2013 Emerson Eggerichs

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by W Publishing Group. W Publishing is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson.

Author is represented by the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, www.alivecommunications.com.

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible. The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Other Scripture references are taken from the following sources: Contemporary English Version (CEV). 1991 by the American Bible Society. Used by permission. English Standard Version (ESV). 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. The English Translation of the Septuagint by Sir Lancelot Charles Lee Brenton (18071862) (BRENTON), originally published in 1851. Good News Translation (GNT). 1976, 1992 by the American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Gods Word Translation (GW). 1995 by Gods Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group. King James Version of the Bible (KJV). Public domain. TheMessage (MSG) by Eugene H. Peterson. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. New King James Version (NKJV). 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. New International Readers Version (NIRV). 1996, 1998 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV (NIV). 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT). 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-0-8499-2205-3 (IE)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

ISBN 978-0-8499-4820-6

Printed in the United States of America

13 14 15 16 17 RRD 5 4 3 2 1

With love and respect, I dedicate this book to my family.

To Sarah: for being an exceedingly better mother than I was a father. As the Bible states, Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, There are many good women, but you are the best! (Proverbs 31:2829 CEV).

To Jonathan, David, and Joy: You have grown into mature, caring, responsible adults who greatly honor us as your parents. I know you can recall many times you needed to forgive us for failing to meet your needs for love and respect, but we all kept getting back up and growing together. Thank you, Eggerichs kids! Mom and I feel about you just as Psalm 127:3 proclaims, Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD (CEV).

CONTENTS

I thank my godly, wise wife, Sarah, for her prayers, counsel, and transparency. Without her immeasurable contribution, I could not have written this book. Truly, she gave birth to this book, laboring with these kids in ways I cannot imagine. Thank you, honey!

I thank Jonathan, David, and Joy for reading each chapter as I wrote it and giving me honest feedback. Without them, I would not and could not have written this book.

I thank Fritz Ridenour for working with me for two years on this book. He has endured my plethora of information, thirty-five years of notes! I am eternally grateful to him for helping me, but more importantly for being my friend. Let me add, that as an octogenarian he has created in me a desire to be as strong, wise, and witty as he is when I am passing into my eighties. He is nothing short of remarkable.

I thank Joanne Tims, Sarahs BFF since college days, for being a third set of eyes at the last hour. Her edits blessed Fritz and me more than she will ever know. She was truly a gift to us.

I thank my sweet daughter-in-law, Sarah, for her reading of the manuscript and helping during the final edits. She caught things none of us saw!

I thank the many people who have written me over the years to share how they applied love and respect in their families. Many times I was moved to tears. I have changed many names and shifted some details to protect the innocent, but all the testimonies in this book are true indeed.

I thank Rick Christian with Alive Communications and those at Thomas Nelson under Matt Baughers leadership for their vision to take Love & Respect in the Family to the world.

I thank the Love & Respect staff and board for their prayers and support and affirmation that this book needed writing in order to serve parents and children.

I thank my mom and dad, who came to Christ my freshman year in college. At that point our family began to change. We forgave the past, loved and respected each other in the present, and looked forward to eternal life with Christ. Mom and Dad are now in a place Jesus called Paradise. I thank the Lord for my dear sister, Ann, who prays faithfully for me in their absence. They are forever experiencing His perfect love and glory.

I thank our loving Lord for His revelation about children honoring their parents and parents loving their children and for His illumination on how to parent His wayno matter what.

I waited to write this book until my children were grown. All three are now in their thirties. It is time, but first I would like to say something about them and have you hear from them.

About Them...

Having served as a clinical psychologist and lieutenant in the U.S. Navy for four years, Jonathan launched Love and Respect Counseling P.C. in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He desires to help people who struggle with major life issues, such as the challenges from military deployment, marriage conflicts, or everyday questions of the soul. He pursued clinical psychology as a profession because he wanted to make a difference in peoples lives.

David has considerable skills in video production, and owns his own film company, Motivity Pictures. He has helped us numerous times in capturing on video the Love & Respect message. Although he confesses he struggled more than his siblings did with the way we parented, he also claims he is my biggest fan. Recently he came to me with a request to talk to a group of his married friends about how to be good parents. He felt they were missing the mark and told me, Dad, I know if you could sit down with them and teach them, theyd listen to you. They need to hear what you have to say.

Working for Love and Respect Ministries, Joy has her own national ministry among her generation, speaking to the vital importance of wisdom in relationships. Her website, loveandrespectNOW.com, provides many nuggets of her wisdom. Recently, we did a video series together called the Illumination Project. As father and daughter we share insights with young adults, ages eighteen to thirty-five, on how to do love and respect in relationships. We are praying that our transparencysharing our warts and allwill help others.

From Them...

Jonathan: As a clinical psychologist, I often hear from clients what poor parenting, no parenting, or even evil parenting feels like. It leaves me very sad and angry. On the other hand, I also hear clients express a hope and desire to be something different, to change a legacy. They want knowledge, tools, and wisdom. That is one reason why I supported my father in writing this book. Others are more personal.