Dr. Emerson Eggerichs - The love & respect experience: a husband-friendly devotional that wives truly love

The
LOVE & RESPECT
EXPERIENCE

The
LOVE & RESPECT
EXPERIENCE

A HUSBAND-FRIENDLY DEVOTIONAL THAT WIVES TRULY LOVE

DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS

2011 Emerson Eggerichs

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked BBE are from the Bible in Basic English.

Scripture quotations marked CEV are from the Contemporary English Version. 1991 by the American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotation marked GNT is from the Good News Translation 1992 American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotation marked GW is from Gods Word, 1995 Gods Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NCV are from the New Century Version. 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIRV are from the Holy Bible, New International Readers Version. 1995, 1996, 1998 by Biblica. www.biblica.com. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotation noted from the Phillips translation is from J. B. Phillips: The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition. J. B. Phillips 1958, 1960, 1972. Used by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Eggerichs, Emerson.
The love & respect experience : a husband-friendly devotional that wives truly love / Emerson Eggerichs.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-8499-4817-6 (leathersoft)
1. Spouses--Prayers and devotions. 2. Marriage--Religious
aspects--Christianity--Prayers and devotions. I. Title. II. Title: Love and respect experience.
BV4596.M3E33 2011
242.644--dc23

2011020229

Printed in the United States of America

11 12 13 14 QG 6 5 4 3 2 1

For his tireless efforts in editing this devotional book,
I express my heartfelt thanks to Fritz Ridenour,
my friend and colleague,
and dedicate this book to his beloved wife, Jackie Ridenour.
On December 19, 2009, Jackie stepped ashore
and found it heaven,
breathed new air and found it celestial.

CONTENTS

Options for Using This Book on Your Own Terms

Chapter 52: When Its All Been Said and Done

INTRODUCTION
Wanted: A Husband-Friendly Devotional Book

FIRST, A WORD TO THE HUSBANDS:

G entlemen, what do I mean by a husband-friendly devotional book? I know too many men who feel that devotional books for couples are geared more toward women. That is why many of the illustrations and stories in these devotionals are geared toward men. I am not trying to give men a special pass or to be extra hard on women. No goodwilled man I know wants his wife treated unfairly. But at the same time, men dont want to be treated unfairly. A key reason for the success of Love & Respect is that it is fair and balanced. That is why many men get excited about feeling respected and then motivated about loving and treating their wives as equals. I am hoping wives will enjoy being challenged as equals with their husbands as they do these devotions together.

As Sarah and I travel the land giving Love & Respect conferences, we hear that wives want to have devotional times with their husbands, but their husbands shy away. Are most husbands avoiding devotional times with their wives because they are not good Christian men who believe the Scriptures and want to follow Christ? I dont believe that for a minute. Nonetheless, many couples have told me that the typical husband just doesnt find the typical devotional book for couples that interestingor that friendly. After trying it a few times, he just sort of finds other things to do.

I think I know why. Most women experience an emotional and spiritual connection with their husbands when praying and reading Scripture together. The typical woman is energized by the typical couples devotional because she is quite willing to share her feelings, her weaknesses, and her needs in order to feel oneness in her marriage. And she expects the same from her husband.

But if you are a typical husband, you are not that eager to be so transparent, and you dont see this as the primary purpose of a devotional book for couples. I know because I, too, do not get up in the morning with this kind of mind-set. Instead, I am thinking about fulfilling my responsibilities in my field of endeavor. Like most Christian men, I prefer to pray about what the Scripture is saying and how it applies to my tasks for the day and then commit this into Gods hands.

But if I sense that Sarah might be using our prayer time to correct me or change my behavior to match her own Pink perceptions, I automatically start to feel resistant. Does this mean I am not interested in Sarahs needs or the needs of the rest of the family? Of course not, but my point is this: as I focus on Jesus during our prayer times, I am much more open to hearing His voice concerning something I might be doing to bug Sarah. I do want to be corrected, but not because Sarah has endeavored to change me during our devotional times. The changes come because God has spoken to my heart through His Word.

I am grateful that neither of us is trying to use devotional times to change the other. Sarah is committed to letting God be God in my life, and I am committed to letting God be God in her life. Our conscious attempt to approaching devotionals in this way is paying big dividends. We highly recommend it, and I also recommend Options for Using This Book on Your Own Terms, which is full of ideas for using the fifty-two devotionals in this book to your best advantage as you seek to have God work in and through both of you.

AND NOW A WORD TO THE WIVES:

L adies, may I be gently and lovingly honest with you? What I say may sound a bit stern, but please hear me out. If you have been to an L&R conference or have read the book, you are familiar with the principle of Pink and Blue. As a woman, you are approaching devotionals with a Pink view of life that is much different from your husbands Blue view, and this can lead to problems, as I have already mentioned.