Dr. Emerson Eggerichs - Before you hit send: preventing headache and heartache

2017 Emerson Eggerichs

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from New American Standard Bible. 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotation marked CEV is from the Contemporary English Version. 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotation marked GW is from Gods Word. 1995 Gods Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

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Names and facts from stories contained in this book have been changed, but the sentiments expressed are true as related to the author through personal conversations, letters, or e-mails. Permission has been granted for the use of real names, stories, and correspondence.

ISBN 978-0-7180-9540-6 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Eggerichs, Emerson, author.

Title: Before you hit send : preventing headache and heartache/Emerson Eggerichs, PhD.

Description: Nashville : W Publishing Group, 2017.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017003530 | ISBN 9780718094263 (hardback)

EPub Edition June 2017 ISBN 9780718095406

Subjects: LCSH: Social mediaMoral and ethical aspects. | Online social networksMoral and ethical aspects.

Classification: LCC HM741 .E44 2017 | DDC 302.23/1dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017003530

Printed in the United States of America

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My two grandchildrenJackson, 6, and Ada, 2bring Sarah (Mimi) and me (Poppi) such deep delight. We have a saying chalked and framed, Grand-parenting is the only thing in life that is not over-rated.

But when I envision their future, should any of us underrate the world they will inherit? How will they navigate their interactions with the people of the earth? We all know most cultures will be at their fingertipsliterally, in e-mails, texts, tweets, and so on. They will be able to communicate with anyone, anywhere, through Skyping or FaceTime.

Therefore, I dedicate this book to Jackson and Ada Joy Marie to help guide their thoughts and words. This book challenges them to think before they speak and reminds them to think about four questions before speaking: Is it true? Kind? Necessary? And clear?

If the answer is no, do not hit send.

If the answer is yes, Poppi says, Hit send!

CONTENTS

Dance like no one is watching; email like it may one day be read aloud in a deposition.

Olivia Nuzzi, The Daily Beast

T his telling quote, by Olivia Nuzzi of The Daily Beast, came out on the heels of the hack of nearly twenty thousand e-mails of the Democratic National Committee, prior to their national convention in 2016.

Every twenty-four hours, 205 billion e-mails are sent across cyberspace;

Though the head spins with these statistics, they do not include those going out through YouTube, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google Plus, Tumblr, Instagram, or the countless other platforms being created every year. Would it be safe then to say that out of these hundreds of billions of communications each and every day, large numbers of the contents authors wish they had taken the time to think more carefully about all they were communicating and revised, or even deleted entirely, the messages they sent out recklessly in an emotional moment?

When it happens to you, a family member, or an employee, you understand the anguish it can cause and how relevant this becomes.

What about the athlete who cannot help but post all his opinions toward the league or team he plays for, perhaps not realizing that freedom of speech does not mean there cant be consequences from his employer?

Or the politician who has media and watchdog organizations analyzing every comment she makes, not hesitating to take their presumptions public with what they believe the candidate is communicating?

Or the television personality who is quick to post controversial opinions that are not received well by the general public, causing so much uproar and backlash that suspension or even termination becomes necessary?

But one doesnt have to be in the public limelight to regret an e-mail or social media post. Take, for example, the job applicant for a major software company who tweeted that she was just offered a job, but now she had to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work. Shortly after her not-well-thought-through tweet, she received a reply from an employee at the firm who was seeking to hire her, asking her, Who is the hiring manager? Im sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web.

Justine Sacco was global head of communications for a media conglomerate, living in New York and flying home to South Africa for Christmas, when she tweeted, Going to Africa. Hope I dont get AIDS. Just kidding. Im white! After the plane touched down, she learned that her tweet had gone viral, the outcome of which was that her employer fired her and she underwent unthinkable hostility.

Sacco sent what she considered a ridiculous, over-the-top, ironic tweet. But it wasnt received that way. She quickly became the poster child for bad tweets, and the incident was covered widely.

Social media means what it says: it is social. World Wide Web means worldwide. Our methods of communication today allow our message to be broadcast to potentially millions, from Auckland, New Zealand, to Oakland, California. But its not only Twitter fanatics who can find themselves in trouble. Every single one of us could fall prey, especially with e-mail. Thats why author Seth Godin always asks himself before hitting send in an e-mail, Is there anything in this e-mail that I dont want the attorney general, the media or my boss seeing? (If so, hit delete.)