Hank Fieger - Behavior Change: A View from the Inside Out

BEHAVIOR

CHANGE

a view from the inside out

HANK FIEGER

Morgan James Publishing New York

BEHAVIOR
CHANGE
a view from the inside out

BY HANK FIEGER 2009 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from author or publisher (except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages and/or show brief video clips in a review).

Library of Congress Control Number: 2008929646
ISBN: 978-1-60037-463-0 (Paperback)

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DISCLAIMER:

Information within this book does not constitute legal, financial or similar professional advice. The purchaser of this publication assumes full responsibility for the use of these materials and information. The publisher and authors assume no liability whatever on behalf of any reader of this material. Please consult applicable laws and regulations and competent counsel to ensure your use of this material conforms with all applicable laws and regulations.

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer

I dedicate this book:

To all of my teachers for what you have taught me.

To my peers for what I have learned from you and how you have helped me to develop my point of view.

To all of my clients and studentspast and futureI hope to share profound simplicity with you.

To my parents for your love and support throughout my life.

To Prem Rawat (a.k.a. Maharaj) for what you have shown me to be the direct source of my life.

And, for Joannie

(19552007)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, thank you, that would suffice.

Meister Eckhart

I AM INDEBTED AND GRATEFUL TO

Antioch University

The Ben-Chanochs

Dorothy Bolton

The Burgis

Catharine Clarke

Mitchell Ditkoff

Federico & Ida

The Fiegers

Tim Gallwey

David Hancock

The Henris

Rick Kahn

The Mens Group

My team at Morgan James Publishing

Ramon & Ana

Brian Riese

Gerhard Rumpff

David Vorzimer

ACCLAIM

What People are saying about Behavior ChangeA View From the Inside Out

A simple and straightforward guide to accessing your inner resources and making desired changes in your life. I heartily recommend it.

Tim Gallwey - Author of The Inner Game of Tennis and The Inner Game of Work

This book is a wonderful reminder of all the resources already within us and provides a no nonsense kick in the butt to use those resources. The author draws on a depth of experience to show us in a clear and simple way to create shift in our lives.

Henry Kimsey-House Author of Co-Active Coaching and co-founder of The Coaches Training Institute (CTI)

Hank Fieger writes as well as he coaches -- helping others learn to modify deeply rooted behaviors that can affect performance and self potential. He understands the basics of human nature and what it takes to make the choice to change. Change is difficult but Hanks methods help identify limiting behaviors and discover replacements that can improve ones effectiveness.

Frank Kern - Senior Vice President, IBM

Hank Fieger has distilled his many years of consulting and training experience to capture the essence of how people can take control of their life. I have used Behavior Change to help corporate managers and leaders achieve the results they desired in both their professional and personal lives. An essential read for anyone involved in training and development.

Alexander Grimshaw - CEO and Senior Partner, PPS International Ltd.

Keep this book handy as it will teach you how to reprogram yourself to become more effective no matter who you are or what you do. Not only will you notice the difference, so will everyone you deal with.

Bill Merrick - Ogilvy & Mather

Behavior Change is a powerful tool for helping uncover the underlying assumptions that shape us as leaders. Its a must-read for anyone who wants to achieve more in their life, their work and the world.

Gloria Stinson - VP, Organizational Development Adobe Systems Incorporated

This wonderful example of how the author made changes in his own life, shows business leaders, teachers, coaches, therapists and individuals how to create lasting behavioral change. This handbook will guide the reader through the process of adapting, adjusting, and changing for the better.

Jacaranda Press - India

Very focused, simple and touching. I really love your framework, for its seeming simplicity, yet touching on the much more fundamental underlying issues that govern our behaviors and ability/willingness to change.

Sandra Visser - Essence Coaching

PREFACE

Within each and every person exists an internal structure or operating system. Most people who use a computer have no idea how its operating system works. In turn, most people have no clue how their own system works.

Computers come with a manual. People dont. Each individual carries deep beliefs about who he or she iscore values and attitudes toward life. Thoughts, feelings, choices, and behaviors emerge from within this essential inner place and set a life in motion as well as hold it in place. More often than not, when individuals want to change a behavior, they fi nd its origins so deeply rooted to their identity that they cannot unravel the behavior from who they believe themselves to be and what they believe about life itself.

Behavior Change provides its readers with a perceptive understanding of what contributes to their existing behavior and how to approach, initiate, and implement real behavior change. Using a simple model, Behavior Change offers business leaders, teachers, therapists, coaches, actorsindividuals from all walks of lifea working guide to help them modify, improve, and change their behavior. Changing behavior begins by knowing where specific behaviors originate. Simply becoming more aware allows individuals to make new choices that improve their behavior. Shift happens!