Matthew McKay - The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention

This is an uplifting and valuable book for anyone who has been wondering how they might create more happiness in their life. The authors ingeniously practical advice is to identify a life purpose and start a practice of engaging in simple spiritual practices. From the onset, it is very clear that this is not a book about spiritual beliefs or a particular belief system. Instead, the book uses new and proven psychological principles to help seekers identify a unique life purpose for themselves, live from the heart with intention, and deal with barriers to spiritual practice with compassion. Although the book is very practical, it is by no means superficial. It does not shy away from deeper issues such as impermanence, finding a state of gracethat beautiful state of calm contentmentand bringing spirit into daily life.

By focusing on practice rather than theory or philosophy, the authors endeavor to help readers achieve a goal that many readers might have always viewed as too lofty or unachievable. This book provides hope and gives actionable advice in a personally meaningful area where really concrete and useful information is often hard to come by. I agree with the promise at the end of the book that the practices learned in this book will help readers keep Spirit alivein you and through you.

Georg H. Eifert, PhD , Chapman University professor emeritus of psychology, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety

Get ready for a unique experience with spirituality. There are plenty of spiritual books preaching what to believe. This book defines spirituality as the process of doing rather than the process of believing. The authors focus on our behavior as the expression of our spirituality. So rather than talk or argue about different faithswho is right or wrongthis book is about helping you to use your spirituality as guidelines for making daily choices and acting in valued directions. The book presents fresh definitions of spirituality followed by practical guidelines, along with how to deal with obstacles while moving in valued directions, and finally a section helping the reader with a deeper understanding how spirituality can be expressed in daily lifefor example, with compassion. The authors present you with lots of practical exercises. One I particularly like was called Morning Intention, which combines a morning routine like making tea with a reminder of a valued intention for the day, as a way of preparing for valued living. Today, most psychotherapists or people dealing with people are including spirituality, and this book will provide you with a great palette of concepts and ways to practice doing that.

JoAnne Dahl, PhD , professor in the department of psychology at Uppsala University in Uppsala, Sweden; licensed psychologist; psychotherapist; peer-reviewed acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer; and Association for Contextual Behavioral Science fellow

This rare and uniquely practical book offers enormous wisdom and guidance for anyonespiritual or not, religious or notseeking a deeper sense of meaning, purpose, and joy in their lives. The New Happiness will awaken you to your inner truth, your purpose in being here, and help you create the conditions for genuine happiness on your life journey.

John P. Forsyth, PhD , professor, and coauthor of Anxiety Happens and The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety

In a world full of loss, fear, and uncertainty, working to find our deepest purpose through connecting to inner wisdom and our spiritual core is of utmost importance; it is the path to wiser choices and a fulfilling life. In Matthew McKay and Jeffrey Woods book, the reader is guided both on a spiritual journey designed to create awareness to choice, and to great clarity about personal values in the service of growth and sustaining a spiritual environmentleading us to our true meaning. In this short but beautiful, wildly painful, blissfully amazing life, The New Happiness is a welcome promise for spiritual development and connection to love and all that matters in life.

Robyn D. Walser, PhD , author of The Heart of ACT , coauthor of Learning ACT and The Mindful Couple , and assistant professor at the University of California, Berkeley

Therapists: Download a free ten-week protocol for a Post-Trauma Growth and Wisdom group, drawing on the principles and practices explored in The New Happiness , at http://www.newharbinger.com/43379 .

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2019 by Matthew McKay and Jeffrey Wood

Reveal Press

An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Interior design by Michele Waters-Kermes

Acquired by Catharine Meyers

Edited by Ken Knabb

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

For Jordan

Matt

For Buckley and Zoey, may you both find grace and happiness.

Jeff

Contents

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

1. Finding Spirit

2. Your Values

3. The Moment of Choice

4. How Pain Shapes Our Spirituality

5. Deep Knowledge Meditation

6. Identifying Your Life Purpose

7. Preparing for the Moment of Choice

8. Gaining Wisdom from Spirit

9. Barriers to Living Your Spiritual Values

10. Compassion for Self and Others

11. Making Amends

12. Impermanence

13. Finding a State of Grace

14. Bringing Spirit to Your Daily Life

A Note for Therapists

References

Foreword

In the mid-1990s, I was involved with a review of the scientific data on religion, spirituality, and health funded by the Templeton Foundation. William Miller, best known for his work on addictions and on Motivational Interviewing, chaired the effort, which examined mental health and physical health in many areas. The panels were catholic (with a small c), including behavioral and physical scientists who were atheists, agnostics, and believers in a variety of religions.

It was not hard for the review panels to reach a consensus. The scientific data were surprisingly strong in every area of health we examined: spiritual involvement predicted positive health outcomes more than virtually any other demographic variable we had data on. But neither belief per se, nor the simple social involvement and support found in community, explained the effect. Instead, the key appeared to be regular practice: actions people engaged in because of their spiritual benefits.

To my knowledge, these findings were only published in a limited way. They can be found in W. R. Miller and M. E. Bennetts Toward Better Research on Spirituality and Health: The Templeton Panels, Spiritual and Religious Issues in Behavior Change 10 (1997): 3-4.

Research in this area has continued and even ballooned in recent years.

Examples include H. G. Koenigs Religion, Spirituality, and Health: A Review and Update, Advances in Mind-Body Medicine 29 (3) (2015): 19-26; or H. G. Koenig, D. E. King, and V. B. Carsons Handbook of Religion and Health , 2nd ed. (New York: Oxford University Press, 2012).