Essays On Becoming Wholed
Peter Cloud Panjoyah
2020 Peter Cloud Panjoyah
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-9990631-1-5 (Audiobook)
978-1-9990631-0-8 (Softcover)
978-1-9990631-2-2 (E-Book)
Greenview Publishing
Hornby Island, BC
V0R 1Z0 CANADA
All poems and songs in this book were penned by the author unless otherwise noted.
Newborough font courtesy of Roger White
Cover art by Bee Wolf-Ray
http://instagram.com/beewolfray
Dedicated To
All Humanity
May We
Find Balance Now
Table of Contents
I n 2001, living 4000 miles from New England where I grew up, I found myself talking across several months in email with my mother and sister about my take on the healing process, particularly my emotional healing journey. After many long backings and forthings, in which I would share a little about my process and they would ask questions about how I got there and what I got out of it, leading to more explication, I received feedback particularly from my sister Alison that I did a really good job explaining something that was in many cases quite esoteric and nonverbal, and that I should consider writing a book about it.
Meanwhile, I was four years into a new relationship with Bee Wolf-Ray, a woman who I've come to consider one of the clearest channels of spiritual information that I've ever heard. Bee would often Be-Earth, a term she coined that she preferred to the notion or concept of channeling, holding forth on many aspects of healing from a deeper or greater aspect of her Self. We recorded many of these sessions, and I often transcribed them. Year after year since that time, she has brought forth many very helpful understandings and concepts that aided our own healing, information which comprised a significant portion of the raw material for this book, for which I am enormously grateful. We are still in partnership after twenty-three years and Bee is still BeEarthing helpful and impactful information to this day.
I absorbed and integrated much awareness along the way in receiving these BeEarthings from Bee that I felt could help others besides just the two of us in their own healing from trauma or simply life in western culture. In addition, I was heavily influenced by a series called Right Use of Will by Ceanne DeRohan, as well as, ultimately, what I grounded and integrated from my own source as a result of my personal growth process.
So in 2003 I decided to take the plunge and started penning monthly articles for my local newspaper which consisted of my take on aspects of the healing process. Bee was my editor and greatly assisted me each month in both illuminating and clarifying my points, helping prune my rough drafts down below the paper's word limit. I published some fifty articles across five years which were well received by my community. Somewhere during those five years I began expanding the articles' base material, fleshing out my topics and adding new ones, with the idea of taking up my sister's suggestion. You now hold the result in your hands (or have on your screen, as the case may be), after many delays, editing passes and self-publishing.
* * * * * * * *
F or nearly thirty years I have been actively engaged in healing my own patterns and past. This process has consumed me, and I have been dedicated to and enchanted with it and all of its workings, both on the inner and the outer. During this time I have also studied the workings of energy at all levels and how that energy flow affects healing, taking years of classes and practicum, soon maintaining a private energy healing practice. In 1996, when I felt an inner urging to have this practice be more grounded in the physical, I began private study with various individual bodyworkers, and took several massage courses, revamping my healership into a massage practice that focused more on the physical and emotional aspects of healing, as opposed to the mental/spiritual aspects that occupied my time as an energy healer in the early to mid-90s.
Within these pages I offer some signposts outside conventional approaches to healing. I welcome disagreement, debate, and strong emotional response to what is said. My words are my opinions and my personal truth, not necessarily Truth, although opinions can sometimes be experienced as Truth if there is enough trust in their validity and practical applicability. What I offer has been time-tested in my own life, and in the lives of many of those in my healing community.
The recommendations and conclusions drawn in this book are off the beaten track and reflect a life currently being lived largely off the grid. They are not intended to reinforce what you already know, but perhaps what you have suspected or conjectured. For example, many people have not realized that expressing emotions in sound could possibly be healing or a good thing; after all, wont we just create more of the same if we do that? Or could it be, like a pressure cooker being relieved of pent-up steam, that the dynamic, evolutionary creations we are become more functional and balanced if we hold less emotional charge?
This book is written in the hopes that it will help people think, feel and act upon changing and releasing old habits. It is divided into four parts across what I consider to be the four layers of the self: our bottom line, the physical body; our inner feminine, the emotional body; our halfway house the mental body, and our eternal, timeless light of consciousness, the spiritual body, all of which comprise the Self as a whole. I include a fifth section which follows the first four, The Relational Body: Love, Family, Friends and Others, for it is in this realm of life that the four bodies of our Self touch and interact with anothers four.
Though the text is divided neatly into these five discrete sections, there is an emphasis and focus throughout on the issues of the emotional body and how to effectively deal with emotional triggers. I focus on the emotional body because this part of self seems to be in direst need, collectively speaking, of more evolved understanding. It has become abundantly clear to me that a deep inquiry into ones emotional backlog is not everybodys journey. But it is the work of some, and the beauty of finding out if you or someone you love are among the some is that, ultimately, healing is do-it-yourself work and has a self-selecting quality to it. That is, you try it and it works and you feel good about the process having an encouraging effect, or you ditch it if it seems or feels wrong for you. Or, you do not even try it because it does not draw you. Hopefully discarding such an inquiry is not rooted in a belief that might read, "I believe it works but it is just too hard and painful so I am going to give up and try a mental technique because it seems easier".
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