Bev Smallwood - This Wasnt Supposed to Happen to Me: 10 Make-Or-Break Choices When Life Steals Your Dreams and Rocks Your World

PRAISE FOR
THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO ME

Dr. Smallwood makes it clear in her book that the questions we should be raising in times of adversity are not Whys but Hows. She tackles false teachings on faith which lead to the needed steps that should be taken for correct lifestyle choices. This is an excellent resource to keep renewing our minds.

Dr. Charles Stanley
Senior Pastor, First Baptist Church of Atlanta
Founder and President, In Touch Ministries

It is with great pleasure I recommend This Wasnt Supposed toHappen to Me. This book is by far the most practical, comprehensive, and spiritual book I have ever read on the process of healing from traumatic events. Never have I encountered a book that covers both the victim and the one who is responding to the victim. So many feelings, ideas, and emotions expressed are exactly my personal experience. I believe Dr. Smallwood represents the heart of the Father for those dealing with immeasurable pain. This is a practical book of actual steps to help you out of what appears to be the bottomless pit of despair. You will be blessed and helped by reading it.

Beth Nimmo
Mother of Columbine victim Rachel Joy Scott

When I went through a crippling accident a few years back I was told I would never be able to perform again. By making the choices that Dr. Bev Smallwood talks about in this book, I was able to walk, sing, and dance again. This book is a must for picking up the pieces and rebuilding your life.

Ben Vereen
Tony Award-Winning Actor, Singer, Dancer

You can be going through life just fine when, Wham! Unexpected tragedy hits. Suddenly your world changes. However, if you implement the ten choices Dr. Bev describes, you can reclaim and rebuild a positive and meaningful life. I highly recommend this book as a resource to help you move through your most difficult times.

Bob Danzig
Former CEO, Hearst Newspapers

This book will inspire, encourage, and lift your spirits! It will help you live life with more passion and power. Read it, and re-read it. Youll be glad you did!

Willie Jolley
Author, A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback

Dr. Bev Smallwood has created a vital resource that can offer real help and hope, saving thousands the despair and hopelessness that comes from unforeseen, devastating circumstances.

Archibald D. Hart, Ph.D., FPPR
Senior Professor of Psychology and Dean Emeritus
Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary
Author, Thrilled to Death

You may well find your very own story hidden among the pages of this life-changing book. If you have ever wrestled with the question Why me? or longed for freedom from confusion, bitterness, or anger, you need only open to any chapter in this handbook of hope!

Glenna Salsbury
Past President, National Speakers Association
Author, The Art of the Fresh Start

Bev Smallwoods total dedication to help people fight to rebuild their broken and shattered lives shines through every page. I have personally stood on the edge of the water screaming, This wasnt supposed to happen to me! I thank God for this beautiful offering. It changed my life as it answered questions, challenged my faith, and brought more hope, healing, and strength. It can do the same for you. Dont wait another day. New life has just begun.

Tammy Trent
Recording Artist, Speaker
Author, Learning to Breathe Again

2007 Beverly Smallwood

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotation in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Published in association with Cythia Zigmund, Literary Services, Inc., P.O. Box 888, Barnegat, NJ, 08005, www.literaryservicesinc.com.

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishing House.

Scripture quotations noted NASB are taken from New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations noted KJV are taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Smallwood, Beverly.

This wasn't supposed to happen to me : ten make-or-break choices when life steals your dreams and rocks your world / Bev Smallwood.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-7852-2811-0 (hardcover)
1. Choice (Psychology)Religious aspectsChristianity. 2. Decision makingReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. DreamsReligious aspects Christianity. 4. Life change eventsReligious aspectsChristianity.
5. Adjustment (Psychology)Religious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4509.5.S633 2007
248.8'6dc22

2007032045

07 08 09 10 11 QWM 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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To my mother,
Wilma Joyce Hannaford.

Widowed at thirty-six, she maintained an unwavering faith in
God, an optimistic attitude, and sacrificial service to others.
My mom didnt let difficult circumstances control her.
No matter what challenges she faced, she never gave up
and kept her sweet spirit to the end.

I first learned the ten choices Ive recorded in this book
by watching my beloved mothers life.

1. Im Fine... Really!
Choice #1: Denial or Reality

2. Poor Me
Choice #2: Victimhood or Responsibility

3. I Have a Thousand Questions
Choice #3: Why or How

4. How Could God Let This Happen?
Choice #4: Doubt or Faith

5. Of Course Im Angry!
Choice #5: Bitterness or Forgiveness

6. I Cant Forgive Myself
Choice #6: Guilt or Self-Forgiveness

7. Just Stay Away!
Choice #7: Isolation or Connection

8. My Dreams Have Turned into Nightmares
Choice #8: Depression or Grief

9. I Cant Go ThereItll Start All Over Again
Choice #9: Avoidance or Courage

10. They Say Everything Happens for a Reason
Choice #10: Powerlessness or Purpose

First and foremost, I thank God for giving me the inspiration, strength, and endurance to write this book. Thank You, Lord, for the privilege of being a channel for Your love and healing.

I cant say enough positive things about my literary agent, Cynthia Zigmund of Literary Services, Inc. Without Cindys vision, her extensive knowledge of the publishing world, her diligent attention to detail, and her patient guidance and support, this book would not be in your hands. I appreciate you so much, Cindy.