Rose Sweet - A Catholic Womans Guide to Relationships

A Catholic Womans Guide
to Relationships

A CATHOLIC
WOMANS GUIDE
TO RELATIONSHIPS

Rose Sweet

TAN Books
Gastonia, North Carolina

Copyright 2020 Rose Sweet

All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts used in critical review, no part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in any form whatsoever, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the Revised Standard Version of the BibleSecond Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Caroline K. Green

Cover image by David Shawley / Shutterstock

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020940991

ISBN: 978-1-5051-1225-2

Kindle ISBN: 978-1-5051-1890-2

EPUB ISBN: 978-1-5051-1891-9

Published in the United States by

TAN Books

PO Box 269

Gastonia, NC 28053

www.TANBooks.com

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Revelation 3:20

G oodness gracious, there is no way one can pack in all the wisdom about healthy relationships in one little book! So I will simply begin in the way that the Gospel of John ends: But there are also many other things which Jesus did; were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written (Jn 21:25).

To properly enjoy and digest something richand not make yourself sickit should be served in small portions. Think of a juicy, fluffy, gravy-drenched Thanksgiving dinner; there is a little savory and sweet, starchy and salty, and maybe things that you would prefer to not even look at (that green bean casserole?)! Similarly, this book has a little of everything to whet your appetite for more.

And there is no way that you can put everything good on your plate in one go-around. You must go back for seconds, and later for leftovers! When youre hungry for relationship truth, I hope this book is one you can go back to again and again.

In the pages that follow, Ive served up some of my best recipes for love, peace, freedom, and joy in living and working with others. I got them from Jesus; savor them and give thanks to the Lord for he is good.

His love is everlasting (see Ps 136).

Indeed, the Architect of Love has built the door into heaven so low that no one but a small child can pass through it, unless, to get down to a childs little height, he goes in on his knees.

Caryll Houselander, Reed of God

I love magic doorways.

When I say magic, Im not referring to superstition or the occult but the commonly used word for the mystery and allure of Gods supernatural creation. I wrote more about our Catholic mysteries in the first two books of this series on happiness

We are intrigued, and sometimes scared, to discover doorways that lead us into other worlds. Ever since I was a child, Ive loved to read stories of secret entrances (doors, portals, gates, platforms, and even mirrors) that opened to great adventures! Alices tiny door into Wonderland, Dorothys farmhouse door into Oz, and my favorite, Lucys hidden door through the back of the English wardrobe.

Man has always longed to explore other worlds, and its no wonder: we were made for heaven. God will never cease drawing us to himself (see CCC 27), and all of nature and creation is our invitation to the supernatural realm. Most especially, the Church and the Sacraments are mysterious ways of truly uniting the visible and invisible worlds of which we are all a part.

But these doors and this adventure should lead us not just to places but to Persons: into relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Not only do worlds meet but also hearts. Our heavenly Father wants us to discover not only his hidden secrets but mostly the abundant love he has for us. God himself is a relationship of perfect love and harmony between divine Persons (see CCC 233); our relationships with others will be disastrous unless they reflect this holy communion.

Doors are more than they seem

Doors keep us safe. Funny, though, when people argue, they often slam a door in the others face. Physical doors can also have spiritual and emotional dimensions to them.

Back in my single days, I dated a man who became increasingly frustrated that I didnt listen to him and therefore didnt understand him. Sadly, he was right. But it didnt hit me until the night he literally shut the door in my face, making sure I could hear him loudly turn the inside lock. Pathetically, I stood outside and called out for him, knocking at his door. All that did was give him the pleasure of refusing to answer. Then he went to the large living room picture window and, while defiantly staring me down, slowly lowered the blinds.

He was cruel to shut me out that way. Ill never forget how I got into my car, burst into tears, and sobbed all the way home. Im thankful God will not slam the door in our faces. If we seek him with all of our heart, we will find him (see Jer 29:13). We must also keep the doors of our heart open to him and anyone he sends to us!

God wired our brains for connection, but trauma rewires it for protection. Thats why wounded, scared, or angry people have such a tough time forming healthy relationships. We each have the power to let love in or lock it out. Jesus came to us as the key to open those doors and enter into authentic love.

Jesus calls us into relationship with him

Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?

The question took me aback when I first heard it on my car radio, listening to the Protestant radio program Focus on the Family in the mid-1970s. Every morning on the way to work, I would hear people share their inspiring conversion stories, of moving away from sinful lives to an intimate and trusting walk with the Lord. They made me laugh, cry, and want more than ever to have a good relationship with Jesus.

I thought about it and said back to the radio, Yes, I have a personal relationship with Jesus. I got it at baptism!

After all, I was betrothed to him as a baby by my parents, confessed my sins to him when I was seven, and asked him to come into my heart and live there forever on my first Holy Communion day. I went to Mass with my parents and prayed pretty regularly, often pouring my heart out to him before I went to sleep. But thats where it ended.

One day, a Protestant friend asked me the question directly.

Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?

Oh, no, here we go again.

She didnt wait for my reply.

It sure doesnt seem like it by the way you live. All that man-made ritual and repetitive prayer you Catholics hang onto is in vain. Why do you keep trying to sacrifice him over and over at Mass? And why do you still have him hanging on the cross? He is RISEN!

Back then, I didnt know how to respond. I felt attacked and was frustrated that I didnt have quick answers. But I am forever thankful for the question because it made me think and was the start of my journey (no, my wild adventure!) to go more deeply into the interior life.

We all have a personal relationship with Jesus

You could say that we all have a very personal relationship with the Lord in that he created us, he first loved us, and then he gave of himself so that we could have eternal happiness with him forever. Its just that too many take the relationship for granted, never respond fully, or reject it completely. Its