David Johnson - The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church

Books by Jeff VanVonderen

Families Where Grace Is in Place
Hope and Help for the Addicted
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse (with David Johnson)
Tired of Trying to Measure Up

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
Copyright 1991
David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen

Cover design by Paul Higdon

Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission. www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations identified AMP are from the Amplified Bible. Old Testament copyright 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright 1958, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

Ebook edition created 2011

Ebook corrections 04.18.2016 (VBN)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-0242-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Dedicated
to the weary and heavy laden,
deeply loved by God,
but because of spiritual abuse,
find that the Good News
has somehow become
the bad news.

Special Thanks from Jeff VanVonderen:

To my mother, Beverly VanVonderen Nyberg. In spite of being surrounded by a shaming religious environment and confused and concerned about my personal struggles, she remained the most unconditionally loving and accepting person in my life.

Special Thanks from David Johnson:

To my father, William Johnson, who through his life and teaching taught me grace and pointed me to Jesus as my only hope. He serves in my life as an example of what it means to open the kingdom of God to people. I am grateful.

To my wife, Bonnie, for knowing and loving me, and for her patience and support on this project.

To my children, Aundrea, Erica, Caleb, and Kristopher for constantly bringing me home.

DAVID JOHNSON has been the senior pastor at Church of the Open Door in Maple Grove, Minnesota, since 1980. During this time, the church as grown from a congregation of 160 to 3,000 people. A much sought after speaker, he is a graduate of Bethel College and received his theological training at Bethel Seminary and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. His Growing in Grace radio broadcast is syndicated internationally David and his family live in Minnesota.

JEFF V AN VONDEREN is an internationally known speaker on addictions and church and family wellness. He has worked as a counselor in both residential and out-patient treatment settings, as well as in the religious community, taught at the college level, and is the author of several books, including Good News for the Chemically Dependent and Those Who Love Them. He is one of the featured interventionists on the A&E documentary series Intervention and has appeared on Oprah, The Today Show, and Larry King Live. He makes his home in Wisconsin.

Contents

Part I
Spiritual Abuse and Its Victims

Part II
Abusive Leaders and Why They Are Trapped

Authors Note

As you read through this book, you will notice we have repeatedly emphasized that the subject matter and guidelines given here must be handled with care. Please take this concern seriously Our stated purpose is to help readersvictims and abusers alikerecognize and escape spiritual manipulation and false spiritual authority within the church.

As some of you read this book, you may find that for the first time you will be able to identify painful feelings long locked within. For others, you may find validation for feelings and perceptions of which you have been aware for a long time, but wondered if you were crazy or way off base. Know this. You can respond and not react. You can take your time to understand the principles we have detailed and weigh the complete message. If you decide through this material that you have been spiritually abused or are presently in a spiritually abusive situation, it is not necessary nor helpful to strike out at the abusers. Reactions that burst from pain and disappointment often feel good and right at the time. But most often they do not build, they hurt your credibility, and sometimes those reactions incur further abuse. Take your time. Emotional healing will come. There is recovery from spiritual abuse.

And there is appropriate and effective confrontation for spiritual abuse. If you are not able to give it immediately, then with some help, support, and healing, you may be able eventually to respond with a settled assurance that is based upon the truth of Gods Word and from a heart that has been renewed by Gods love and His Spirit. And your soft heart wont feel the need to apologize for it later.

Introduction

Messages From the Heart

David Johnson:

I was not prepared for the look on the unfamiliar womans face as she came forward for prayer at the end of a church service. She was teary-eyed, anxious. But most of all, I saw fear. Whats more, as she began to speak, it became apparent what she was afraid of me!

Instantly, I wondered what I might have said or done to make this simple step so traumatic for her. As we began to talk, however, I realized that she wasnt afraid of me personallyit was what I represented. I was a pastor, a figure of authority. And not just any authoritya spiritual authority, a representative of God. She was terrified of that, and coming to me for prayer was one of the hardest, bravest things shed ever done.

Later, as I pondered the encounter, I realized that she exhibited the characteristics of an abuse victim. But this time the abuse wasnt sexual, physical, or emotional; it was, quite possibly, more serious because in most quarters it is a taboo subject. Her abuse was spiritual.

In the context of her Christian home and her evangelical church, this woman had been shamed, manipulated and weighed down by a distortion of the gospel. Though Jesus came with good news to set us all free, she had been pressed by other Christians to work harder at being a good Christian. When she had failed in her honest attempts, she was judged as undisciplined and unwillingperhaps even unsaved. She tried harder and harder to do all that was prescribed: more Bible reading, more prayer, more financial sacrifice. Finally, exhausted, she had come seeking help. By then she was so sure I, too, was going to judge her that she nearly could not ask for help from one more spiritual authority. The good news had become bad news; the message of life had been distorted until it nearly crushed out her inner life.

The result, for her, was that the concept of grace was lost completely, and church in general was no longer a safe place. As a pastor, I stood in the place of the one before me who had wounded her soul.