Earnie Larsen - Now That Youre Sober: Week-by-Week Guidance from Your Recovery Coach

To my dear sponsees,

Now That Youre Sober is especially designed for those who are bravely moving through their first year of recoverywhether for the first or twentieth time. It is also for those who have been in recovery for much longer than a year but who find complacency creeping into their recovery efforts, who feel stuck and realize they need to recommit to the principles of recovery. For all of you, this book is a map that charts your way forward. Make no mistake about the intention of the guidance offered in this book. This is not just another nice recovery bookone that you read and then put aside, hopefully taking away a few good thoughts. My intention is that the material offered here be chewed, pulled apart, scrutinized, and internalized. This book is designed to be worked, preferably by two or more people together. It is intended to provide support, insights, and exercises that will do something about the high relapse rate of people starting recovery.

Only doing is doing, so I urge you to do the work. Obviously, the fifty-two weeks outlined in this text are meant to cover a years worth of recovery, whenever that year starts. But digesting this material may take longer. You (and your group) may well not get through all the work suggested here in a year. Or, as the year goes on, you might feel called to return to some piece of work suggested here so you can take it to a new, deeper level that you werent ready for earlier. That is perfectly acceptable. Spirit always seeks depth. Recovery is all about spirituality. Becoming honest, open, and willing often happens in stages.

Who am I to be writing such a book? Who am I to call myself your recovery coach? It is common for speakers in our Fellowship to qualify themselves as they begin speaking. They tell what gives them the right to stand up and command your attention. What qualifies a speaker in the Fellowship is never a college degree or fancy title. Having been there is the only qualification required. Is the speaker working a program? Has he or she stood in the trenches and made the tough decisions about quality of life? In this arena, titles are meaningless, experience is everything. So what qualifies me to dare call anyone my sponsee? Or more specifically to call you my sponsee? First of all, it is my forty-plus years of living life in the Fellowship. Ive been around a long time. Second is the fact that, over all those years, Ive coached, sponsored, pushed, pulled, coaxed, goaded, explained, ushered, held, and shepherded a good many people into recovery for the first time or back again into the Fellowship after a relapse. Ive been there, sitting with you when children have died and been born, when your hearts were broken and when you found the strength to get up and try again, when you relapsed and when you reached milestones in your recovery. I was with you in times of despairwhether in prison, in treatment, in the hospital, in the roomsas well as in those times when you fairly skipped in happiness down the red road of recovery.

I know both personally and through my connection to loved ones in recovery that this road called recovery is tricky. Old habits die hard. Some never do. They simply sit by the side of the road waiting for an opening so they can ambush us if we allow them entrance. I also know that new is often wobbly. Even a new that is a good new tests our hearts and minds. After perhaps living many years by the values that underpin the condition called spiritual bankruptcy, change is difficult. If we try it alone, transformation is altogether beyond our powers. Yet that is what recovery asks and delivers if we work with others and remain faithful to its principlesnot just change but transformation. The first step of transformation may come unbidden with blinding speed. For others, moving into recovery is less dramatic. Either way, the first step is free. It is given to us. But the rest of the journey must be earned through consistent effort, practicing a new way to be in this world. Learning new ways is difficult. Unfamiliar behaviors feel awkward. At first, many feel they are playacting in this new way. They say it feels odd or phony or rootless. Many are terrified that when the old urges of mind and body come clawing at them, they will cave in. They fear the deadly draw of the old way.

I know that many times in recovery, especially early on, there are tipping moments and turning points. There are moments when it is literally touch and gowhen the hot breath of the beast blows in the tender face of new recovery from but inches away. I know that at those times especially, there is great need for a voice of hope and reason. This book can serve as that voice for you. I know at those times especially, there is great need for a presence to stand by your side while the beast prowls about. This book can serve as the presence for you. I know that at those times especially, there is great need for access to a protective shield to gather behind. This book can serve as that shield for you. I know that at those times especially, there is great need for a guide to show you the way through the jungle. This book can serve as your guide. So take this book with you on your journey of recovery and let me be one of your sponsors or recovery coaches.

Carry this book. Study it. Do the work on a daily basis. Follow the map laid out and share your work with others.

Every time a recovery action is taken, your spiritual bankroll grows. When the storm comesand it will in one way or anotherall will be well if your spiritual bankroll is larger than what must be withdrawn. The battle will be won. If the essential actions outlined here are not taken, however, your resources will be insufficient to deal with the need. Its as simple as that.