Meredith Gould - Staying Sober: Tips for Working a Twelve Step Program of Recovery
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Staying Sober: Tips for Working a Twelve Step Program of Recovery
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The fundamental components of staying sober -- not using, going to meetings, reaching out, working the Steps, and serving other -- are only the beginning of the strategies offered. Day-to-day and moment-to-moment techniques plus program slogans and humor provide newcomers with fresh wisdom for maintaining sobriety.
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1999 by Meredith Gould All rights reserved. Published 1999 Printed in the United States of America No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Gould, Meredith, 1951 Staying sober : tips for working a twelve step program of recovery /Meredith Gould. p. cm. ISBN 1-56838-340-1 1. AlcoholicsRehabilitation. 2. AlcoholicsRehabilitation Case studies. 3. Twelve-step programs. 4. Alcoholics Anonymous. I.Title. HV5278.G68 1999 362.292'86dc21 99-32564 CIP
03 02 01 00 6 5 4 3 2
Author's Note
The Twelve Steps and other AA materials, excerpted from Alcoholics Anonymous, are reprinted with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Permission to reprint and adapt the Twelve Steps, and to reprint the additional AA material, does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, nor that AA necessarily agrees with the views expressed herein. AA is a program of recovery from alcoholism onlyuse of AA material in connection with non-AA publications, or in any other non-AA context, does not imply otherwise.
Opinions embedded within this text are solely those of the author. Anyone feeling perturbed, disturbed, or outraged is encouraged to "turn it over."
Cover design by Madeline Berglund Interior design by Donna Burch Typesetting by Stanton Publication Services, Inc.
Page v
Dedication
For those who have the guts and grace to do the work of recovery.
Page vii
Contents
Preface
ix
Acknowledgments
xv
Introduction
xvii
Chapter One: Don't Use
1
Chapter Two: Go to Meetings
33
Chapter Three: Reaching Out
53
Chapter Four: Working the Steps
87
Chapter Five: Helping Others
135
Appendix A: "Identify but Don't Compare" Film Festival
155
Appendix B: The Twelve Steps of Various Groups
159
Appendix C: Recommended Resources
167
About the Author
172
Page ix
Preface
Was my "story" the most irrelevant, unrelatable one on Planet Recovery or what? I certainly thought it was, until the night I told it at an inpatient rehab.
Despite my abiding belief in the power of service, I had gone to that speaking commitment profoundly unthrilledand slightly miffedthat my sponsor dared suggest such a thing. Jeepers, what did I have to say to these women? I hadn't gone through a rehab. Hadn't needed to because I wasn't all that visibly messed up. (The poop hit the proverbial fan of life after I decided to sober up, an experience I would discover was by no means unique to me.)
While family and friends certainly thought I had a few "issues," no one had pegged me as Twelve Step program material. After all, everything I did to excess was either purely situational, secretive, or bush league when compared to the addictive predilections of intimate partners.
I got my butt into a Twelve Step program after I had not one, but two so-called moments of clarity. First, I actually saw myself doing something only a (fill in the blank) would do. A few weeks later, I actually caught myself thinking something only a (fill in the blank) would think. At last, I had hit what one friend calls "Step Zero" (i.e., This s**t has got to stop). I needed, but more important, wanted, my life to be different.
While I thought these revelations might be moderately interesting, they were hardly dramatic enough to serve as a cautionary
Page x
tale. Oh, my boring little suburban story. No need to mention driving on hallucinogens because I did that back in the early 1970s with my sorority sisters. No street drugs, just routine stockpiling of postsurgical prescriptions. Okay, so occasionally I'd "borrow" meds from other people's medicine cabinets. I had never been fired. Whatever stern lectures I ever got about my attitude may or may not have been linked to off-hour activities. No arrests. No party puking. No Repo Man ever showed up for stuff I acquired during shopping binges. No one ever had to rush me to a hospital for a good stomach pumping. Okay, so maybe the vanilla extract episode was worth mentioning. Mostly, I engaged in a lot screaming and sobbing. Occasionally, I would hurl small appliances. These were behavioral glitches that I blamed on hormones whenever possible.
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