Carolyn Conger - Through the Dark Forest: Transforming Your Life in the Face of Death

In the midpoint of this journey that is our life I found myself passing through a dark forest, the right path through which had disappeared. And what a hard thing it is to speak of that savage forest....

Dante, TheDivine Comedy

D antes poem, describing his difficult journey through a dark forest without a path to follow, inspired the title of this book. It is an accurate description of the dilemma in which many people at the end of life find themselves. And the experience can indeed be savage. Knowing they have only a few weeks, months, or years to live, they suddenly are forced to grapple with important issues. If you are a person with a terminal or increasingly debilitating illness, you probably are struggling with these questions:

How can I leave this world with a sense of peace and grace?

How do I want to die?

How will my loved ones remember me?

How can I get through the pain and suffering at the end?

Is there anything more to learn at this stage of my life?

Who am I nowand how can I find meaning at the end of my life?

Is there anything unfinished I need to attend to?

How can I heal my broken relationships before I leave?

Are there tools or techniques for getting through all this?

What psychological and spiritual resources are available to me now?

Is there anything redemptive about this time before death?

These are difficult questions. And it is natural for you to ponder them over and over. Something in us wants to have a satisfactory sense of completion to our time upon this earth. Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The more we participate in writing the ending of our own story, the more satisfied we are with the arc of our life.

This book is an attempt to help you with these inquiries about the end of life. It draws upon my experience of working with people who are facing death. It contains examples of how I work with them psychologically and spiritually during this critical time, and presents suggestions and exercises for the reader to explore. It is not only for people who have a terminal illness and for their caretakers and families, but also for everyone who is ready to face their own mortality and live the remainder of their lives meaningfully, no matter how long that may be.

In these pages are stories about my clients and friendsexcerpts from my notes and recordingsabout their struggles and victories and how we worked together to make their remaining time transformative.

Personal transformation is much more than change; its a radical rearrangement, reintegration, and renovation of consciousness that sweeps through our being much like the metamorphosis of a butterflys life cycle. It is so powerful that it affects body, mind, and spirit. When it happens, others see us as reborn, and we in turn experience and interact with the world differentlywith an expanded viewpoint, from a place of wholeness. We feel more ourselves than ever before.

This is not a religious or philosophical book about death and dying, but rather a practical self-help guide to doing inner psycho-spiritual work when it is most needed. Each chapter contains some of the techniques that will help this process unfold.