Daniel Darling - A Way with Words: Using Our Online Conversations for Good

They must be among the most intimidating words Jesus ever spoke: I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak... Each one of us is responsible for our every word. In an age of ubiquitous and lightning-fast communication, we need to hear and heed this warning like never before, and for that reason, Im thankful for Daniel Darlings call for both responsibility and civility in every word we speaknot to mention every word we write, blog, or tweet.

Tim Challies , blogger at challies.com and author of The Discipline of Discernment

Online interactions shape and impact all of our lives, and yet there are so few helpful, biblical guides on how to have healthy online conversations. Fortunately, Daniel Darling has written just that. A Way with Words is a timely resource for those of us who find ourselves utilizing email and social media to work, learn, or keep up with friends and family. Dan writes with humility, wit and a gospel-centered perspective, making this a valuable read.

JD Greear , pastor of Summit Church and author of What Are You Going to Do with Your Life? and Above All

A Way with Words offers much-needed wisdom and practical counsel on one of todays greatest discipleship challenges: our behavior online.

Thomas S. Kidd , author of Who Is an Evangelical? The History of a Movement in Crisis

This is not just a book about words, but a book about the weight and power of wordsand how we use them. A Way with Words ought to be required reading for all who enter the public square, whether as professionals, pundits, armchair theologians, or merely social media usersthat is to say, all of us. Dan Darling is always wise and always pastoral. This book is Dan Darling at his best.

Karen Swallow Prior , author of On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life through Great Books and Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah MorePoet, Reformer, Abolitionist

Talk on the internet so easily makes us into our worst selves. Thank God, then, for Daniel Darlings incisive new book about the problems we make for ourselves. His thoughts on discernment show both humble self-examination and careful observation, not to mention pastoral sensitivity. Highly recommended for any Christian looking for guidance through the rocky terrain of online discourse!

David Zahl , author of Seculosity and editor of The Mockingbird Blog

Copyright 2020 by Daniel Darling

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-5359-9536-8

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 302.2

Subject Heading: SOCIAL NETWORKING / SOCIAL MEDIA / SOCIAL ETHICS

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Christian Standard Bible, Copyright 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible and CSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Also used: New International Version ( niv ), NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Also used: English Standard Version ( esv ). ESV Text Edition: 2016. Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Also used: King James Version ( kjv ), public domain.

Cover design by Micah Kandros

It is the Publishers goal to minimize disruption caused by technical errors or invalid websites. While all links are active at the time of publication, because of the dynamic nature of the internet, some web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed and may no longer be valid. B&H Publishing Group bears no responsibility for the continuity or content of the external site, nor for that of subsequent links. Contact the external site for answers to questions regarding its content.

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To all those who have nurtured my writing life:

Mrs. Birginal for telling an awkward junior high boy that he had talent

My father for constantly telling me Id be a writer one day

My first boss, Julie Dearyan, for pushing me to get published

My mentor, Bill Swanger, for reminding me that writing is a ministry

Acknowledgments

This is my ninth published book and I dont take any of this for granted. To have anyone publish your work at any level is a privilege and not a right. So first and foremost Im thankful to Taylor Combs for seeing the vision behind this book and to B&H for publishing it. Every decision a publisher makes is a risk, and I want to thank B&H for taking this one on with me. The entire team at B&H has made this a wonderful writing process from idea to editing to publishing to marketing.

Im also indebted to my agent, Erik Wolgemuth, who has been a wonderful guide in this writing journey. Thanks for fielding all my ideas, rapid-fire, even when many of them are not good.

Im thankful for the wonderful friends I have at ERLC, where I was privileged to work for six years, especially Dr. Russell Moore for allowing me to serve alongside in helping us help Christians think well about the culture. I grew so much at ERLC and my writing ministry flourished there.

Im thankful for my new colleagues, especially Troy Miller, at NRB, where we are helping to shape the next generation of Christian communicators.

Im thankful for my pastor, Daryl Crouch, who encourages me in this and every endeavor.

Last, my wife Angela has been an indispensable and lifegiving partner on this journey. And to my kids: thanks for putting up with Dad hunched over his laptop looking off, eyes glazed, into the distance while gathering another writing thought. This is why.

I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it until it begins to shine.

Emily Dickinson

I ll never forget hearing my oldest daughter, Grace, speak her first words. Angela and I and our family on both sides had waited so long for the moment her verbal communication rose above grunts and animal sounds to something resembling what humans speak. What would she say? How would it sound? Would she talk at all?

Like most first-time parents we worried irrationally, consulting baby books, our pediatrician, and other parents. Google was a bit rudimentary back then but Im sure we also consulted the search engine for help.

Eventually Grace did speak, and her first word wasnt mommy or even daddy. It was the simple, but rather effective, No!

Chasing Words

Hearing Grace speak was a joy, even if the words that came from her mouth were, even at her vulnerable age, a testament to her strong will and her independence. They excited me as they would excite any parent hearing their kid speak for the first time, but perhaps more for me because Ive spent a lifetime chasing words.

My mother taught me to read at an early age, and Ive been devouring words ever since. We took three newspapers at our house: the Daily Herald, the Chicago Tribune, and the Chicago Sun Times. I read them every day. Sports first, then news, then features. On Sundays I spread out those gloriously fat Sunday editions and was silent for hours.

I regularly visited libraries, begged my mother to buy more Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew books, and, at times, read the ingredients on the cereal boxes when there was nothing left in our house to read. My parents, because they feared the influence of television, didnt own a set until I was in college, so it was either listening to words on the radio or reading them on a page.