Rabbi Mark Borovitz - You Matter: Ten Spiritual Commitments for a Richer and More Meaningful Life

You
Matter

Ten Spiritual Commitments for a Richer and More Meaningful Life

RABBI MARK BOROVITZ
AND
PAUL BERGMAN

AuthorHouse

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: 1 (800) 839-8640

2018 Rabbi Mark Borovitz and Paul Bergman. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/02/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-1623-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-1622-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-2331-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017919614

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE
A Doorway

CHAPTER TWO
Beit Tshuvah

CHAPTER THREE
First Commitment

CHAPTER FOUR
Second Commitment

CHAPTER FIVE
Third Commitment

CHAPTER SIX
Fourth Commitment

CHAPTER SEVEN
Fifth Commitment

CHAPTER EIGHT
Sixth Commitment

CHAPTER NINE
Seventh Commitment

CHAPTER TEN
Eighth Commitment

CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ninth Commitment

CHAPTER TWELVE
Tenth Commitment

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Appendix

DEDICATIONS

R ABBI MARK: I dedicate this book to Harriet and Heather, my parents, Jerry, zl , and Millie, my brothers and sister, my nieces and nephews as well as my aunts, uncles and grandparents who all shaped me and the teachings of this book. I also dedicate this book to all of my teachers, Rabbis Ed Feinstein, Harold Shulweis, Jonathan Omer-Man, Mel Silverman, Aryeh Cohen, and a myriad of others. I dedicate this book to Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel who has shaped my soul, my thinking and my teaching as well as to Dr. Susannah Heschel who continues to be a source of inspiration and knowledge to and for me. I am deeply indebted to and dedicate this book to everyone with whom I have had the honor and pleasure of learning at Beit TShuvah-residents and staff, Board members and donors-you all have made this book and the amazing life I lead possible.

Paul : I dedicate this book to my wife Andrea; to my parents Rhoda and Bernie, who would be stunned to find out that I have written a book with a rabbi; to my grandchildren Francesca and Nicholas, whose very early years remind me often that life is filled with wondrous experiences; to all of my friends in the Beit TShuvah and Al-Anon communities, who have taught me that miracles can happen but when they dont we can help each other continue to put one foot in front of the other; and to the family members and friends who help me live with joy and gratitude.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

W E ARE GRATEFUL to the following people who read all or parts of earlier drafts of the book: Harriet Rossetto, Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Andrea Sossin-Bergman, Chuck Bergman, Eileen Sossin-Johnson, Bob Bendetson, Bonny Fetterman, Fred Kuperberg, Susan Rappaport and Julie Soter. Our special gratitude to Susan Reneau, whose care, experience and expertise is reflected throughout the book. We have learned from the wisdom of you all.

CHAPTER ONE

A DOORWAY

M Y NAME IS Mark, and I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. My background includes felony convictions for fraud and theft, and two terms in California state prison. Sober today and for nearly thirty years, I am also the senior rabbi and spiritual leader of Beit TShuvah. Beit TShuvah, which is Hebrew for House of Return, is a Los Angeles residential addiction treatment facility. Beit TShuvahs mission extends beyond helping people get sober. The principles and tools of its recovery program have helped many hundreds of addicts like me who have lost our way to regain our dignity and passion for life so that we can enjoy decent lives of purpose.

Beit TShuvahs recovery program is the basis of the ten spiritual commitments that are the focus of this book. The commitments can help all of us, addicts and non-addicts alike, improve the quality of our lives. As Beit TShuvahs founder Harriet Rossetto often points out, We are all either in recovery or in denial. I understand Harriet to mean that addiction is but one type of spiritual malady that can diminish our enjoyment of life. Among other common spiritual maladies are low self-esteem, holding on to resentments, a need to appear to be more than, a need to be right, a need to control others, fear of success, fear of change, obsession with career, and indifference to life. When we are willing to pursue recovery from our spiritual maladies, whether they have resulted in addiction or not, the principles and tools of the ten commitments diminish their power to control our actions.

I began to develop the commitments after two decades of chaos when my life centered on alcohol, drugs and crime. In a police car, on my way to a second prison term, I finally experienced a moment of clarity. I became willing to change direction and live decently. I used my second prison term to study Jewish texts with a marvelous and caring prison chaplain, Rabbi Mel Silverman. I also studied the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and regularly attended Jewish services and A.A. meetings. After my release on parole, I went to work at a small halfway house for Jewish ex-cons that Harriet Rossetto had recently started that she called Beit TShuvah. Though I was not then a rabbi, I conducted bi-weekly Friday night Sabbath services for the ex-cons and their families in the backyard.

Harriets small halfway house has become one of the countrys pre-eminent residential addiction treatment facilities. Its residents have come from many different religious traditions and from none at all. Many residents come straight from jails, prisons and the streets. Beit TShuvah never turns anyone away for lack of money. And like so many other residents and alumni of Beit TShuvah, I have a wondrous life that I never could have imagined and for which I am so grateful every single day.

Beit TShuvah is a synagogue as well as a residential treatment facility. During Friday night Sabbath services, the clergy and the congregation together welcome in new residents with a prayer that in part expresses the hope that this house may be, for all who enter, the doorway to a richer and more meaningful life. With this same spirit, I welcome you to the ten commitments with a prayer that they will help you open your doorway to a richer and more meaningful life.

THE TEN COMMITMENTS

The ten commitments embody my understanding of the spiritual principles and traditions of Judaism and Alcoholics Anonymous. The commitments re-state the moral commands of the Bibles Ten Commandments as spiritual promises to our souls. The commitments are a pathway not to religious practice or belief but to spiritual buoyancy . Spiritual buoyancy results from a sense of wholeness of heart and mind that helps us experience many moments of what my hero Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel called radical amazement of life. At the core of every human being is the need for connection to others and the desire for a meaningful life. The principles and tools of the commitments convert the Ten Commandments prohibitions into life-nurturing and meaningful actions that constitute our unique answers to: