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Shmuley Boteach - Renewal: A Guide to the Values-Filled Life

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Our culture is showing the cracks of a growing fracture. Soaring divorce rates; a crippled economy that rewards the few and punishes the many; religious-fueled hatred; record rates of depression the headlines paint a grim picture. We inhabit a society that desperately needs fixing. But as Rabbi Shmuley Boteach reveals in his new book, Renewal, our society can made whole again when we as individuals make the choice to live a life based on values.
For too long, conversations about values have been derailed by political movements trying to score points over hot-button issues like gay marriage or abortion. Boteach, one of our wisest and most respected counselors and spiritual experts, reaches deep into our history and into our shared religious legacy to revive the key universal values of Judaism for our struggling world. He presents these age-old ideas as guideposts for the challenges of modern times. These values, whose roots are in the Bible and thousands of years of Jewish spiritual living, can be applied to anyone in the modern world from Christians and Muslims to atheists and agnostics who want to renew their existence and recommit themselves to the most precious things in life.
Renewal shows everyone how to use the timeless values of the Hebrew Bible and Judaism to live a more fulfilling, modern life.
Destiny
Unlike the Greeks, who believed that life was scripted from birth, the Jews believe in destiny. In short, they reject the idea of tragic fates and instead champion the individuals; capacity to create their own destiny through individual choice.
Redemption
Christians and Muslims emphasize salvation, or the need for man to become spiritual to refine his character and earn a place in heaven. But Jews believe in world redemption, the capacity for the individuals to make heaven here on earth for, the betterment of the community.
Action
What you do is more important than what you believe. Good deeds always supersede good dogma.
Enlightenment
Jews are an infinitely curious people and believe that the great bane of existence boredom can only be cured by knowledge.
Marriage
Marriage refers not just to the institution, but rather the softening of the masculine by exposure to the feminine. A culture that does not know how to respect women is bound to collapse.
Struggle
It is wrestling with our nature, rather than attaining perfection, that constitutes true righteousness. Everyone is somehow flawed, but righteousness is found in the struggle to do right amid a predilection to act selfishly.
Sacred Time
Whereas other religions sanctify space, Jewish values privilege special moments. The Sabbath day, the holiest day of the week, provides a time for connecting with family and friends.

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Table of Contents ALSO BY RABBI SHMULEY BOTEACH The Michael Jackson Tapes - photo 1
Table of Contents

ALSO BY RABBI SHMULEY BOTEACH
The Michael Jackson Tapes
(PERSEUS BOOKS, 2009)

The Blessing of Enough
(SONY, THIS WORLD, 2009)

The Kosher Sutra
(HARPERONE, 2009)

The Broken American Male,
and How to Fix Him
(ST. MARTINS PRESS, 2008)

Shalom in the Home
(MEREDITH BOOKS, 2007)

Parenting with Fire: Lighting up the
Family with Passion and Inspiration
(PENGUIN PRESS, 2006)

10 Conversations You Need
to Have with Your Children
(HARPERCOLLINS, 2006)

Hating Women: Americas Hostile
Campaign Against the Fairer Sex
(HARPERCOLLINS, 2005)

Face Your Fear: Living with
Courage in an Age of Caution
(ST. MARTINS PRESS, 2004)

The Private Adam:
Becoming a Hero in a Selfish Age
(HARPERCOLLINS, 2003)

Judaism for Everyone: Renewing Your
Life Through the Vibrant Lessons
of the Jewish Faith
(BASIC BOOKS, 2002)
Kosher Adultery: Seduce and
Sin with your Spouse
(ADAMS MEDIA, 2002)

Why Cant I Fall In Love?:
A 12-Step Program
(HARPERCOLLINS, 2001)

The Psychic and the Rabbi:
A Remarkable Correspondence
(SOURCEBOOKS, 2001)

Dating Secrets of
the Ten Commandments
(BROADWAY, 2000)

Kosher Emotions
(HODDER & STOUGHTON, 2000)

Kosher Sex: A Recipe for
Passion and Intimacy
(DOUBLEDAY, 1999)

Wrestling with the Divine
(JASON ARONSON, 1995)

Moses of Oxford: A Jewish
Vision of a University and
Its Life, Volumes One and Two
(ANDRE DEUTSCH, 1994)

Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge
(JASON ARONSON, 1993)

The Wolf Shall Lie with the Lamb
(JASON ARONSON, 1993)

Dreams
(BASH PUBLICATIONS, 1991)
To my parents-in-law SAM AND EVA FRIEDMAN who lead lives of quiet - photo 2
To my parents-in-law,

SAM AND EVA FRIEDMAN,

who lead lives of quiet virtue and exceptional communal devotion,
inspired and informed by Jewish values.

Thank you for tolerating me (I know it isnt easy) from the time
I was a rabbinical student in Sydney.

Mostly, thank you for my wife. You did well, even if she didnt.
Picture 3
INTRODUCTION
TO LIVE ANEW
Many of us stagnate in lives that are going nowhere. We are either stuck in destructive patterns that undermine our happiness and snuff out our potential, or we run on a treadmill of routine that slowly kills off our dreams. In our hearts we know we are born for something higher, but by the time we hit our thirties and forties we have settled for a life that does not match our original expectations in any way. Then we tell ourselves that those long-ago visions of our future were never realistic in the first place. Mature people, we reason, adopt a more sober perspective. But the nagging sense that we deserve so much more never quite leaves us.
None of us are born thinking we are ordinary. Feeling special is an essential part of the human birthright. If you dont think you are special, you wont seek to contribute your gift to the world. But I meet people every day who seem content to throw away their days chasing money, watching TV, and accumulating as many possessions as possible. Its as if humans never evolved beyond the hunter-gatherer stage. We live in a culture where discussing the latest HBO series passes for stimulating dinner conversation. America has become a country of great contrasts: Were the wealthiest nation on earth and consume three-quarters of its antidepressants.
What happened to the feeling that we are special and the knowledge that special people dont waste their lives pursuing ordinary things?
Somewhere along the way that vital feeling of uniqueness died in us.
But it can be recaptured. What is needed is not another self-help book or personal empowerment seminar. We in the modern world do not suffer from a lack of motivationmost of us still get up in the morning and put in a full days work. For the most part, we either are in a relationship or want to be in one. Its not that were not trying to create a special life, but rather that we forgot whats important. We do not need a pep talk. We need a new vision of what truly matters, a new set of rules for how we should conduct our lives and to guide us in devoting our mental, intellectual, and emotional energies.
As a counselor, I have discovered that the principal cause of malaise is embracing the wrong values. Our culture never taught us what is truly precious, so we chased things that in the long run did not accord with our deepest desires.
Just think about the disparity between how you expend your daily energies versus how you wish to be eulogized one day. Does anyone want their rabbi, minister, priest, or imam to get up in front of the crowd thats gathered and launch into a discussion of the size of the house you lived in, or the luxury detailing of your BMW? Does anyone imagine theyll be most fondly remembered for how thin they were, or how much they exercised? Are there any among us so shallow as to want our legacy to be how many partners we bedded? And if not, why does the pursuit of these things drive us to endless distraction?
If your time is spent pursuing what doesnt accord with your deepest desires, you are living a liea sin against G-d, who gave you life so you could consecrate your existence to higher things. It is time to renew, recalibrate, and reorient our lives to focus on what matters.
This is not a self-help book. It is not a book that will teach you how to be an optimist or how to win friends. Even less so is it a book that tells you how to awaken your inner giant. No, this is a book about building a new life by rediscovering lifes most precious values. In it you will discover a revolutionary take on the whole concept of values.
In this book I will reacquaint you with an eternal understanding of what in life is preciousand what thoughts, attitudes, and judgments we should run far, far away from. Ill introduce you to ancient values and their contemporary application. For those of you who are already familiar with the Bibles values, I hope you will find that the material presented here is fresh, even surprising.
I am a rabbi fully devoted to Judaism. But I do not observe my religion merely because it is the faith of my ancestors or because I want my children to embrace our tradition. Important as those things are, they are subordinate to something far more significant, namely, that my faith imparts to me a knowledge of lifes infinite preciousness and potential. I dont want to throw my life away or dwell on stuff thats beneath me. From time to time we may all tell a lie, but living one is a different matter entirely.
I plan to turn some of your most cherished values upside down. While we think we know ancient values, we often have only a superficial understanding of the eternal truths embedded in them. For example, many people still believe in astrology and, by extension, fate. They believe their life was scripted before they were born. But nothing could be further from the truth. Fate is a myth designed to have us submit to forces beyond our control rather than bending those same forces to our will. It is profoundly disempowering. But in this book you will discover the Jewish value of destiny that can overpower your subservience to fate and the conventional life.
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