Praise for Parenting with Heart
Parenting with Heart is a radical and compelling book for parents and grandparents, who know in their heart parenting is not easy. It is foolish to believe something as important as parenting can be legislated into a few steps or principles. James and Dodd offer a map to guide your engagement with your children and the wisdom to do so humbly, even in the face of inevitable struggles. Parenting changes us all, but often it turns us more toward guilt or worry. This brilliant resource will give you a path for joy and rich relationships with your children. You (and your children) will not be the same after reading this book.
Dan B. Allender , PhD, professor of counseling psychology and founding president of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology; author of Healing the Wounded Heart and How Children Raise Parents
Stephen James and Chip Dodd have invited you into their counseling offices in this book. They have created a safe space for you to grow as a parentto learn, to laugh, to be honest about your vulnerability and imperfection, and to discover. You will finish this book with more hope, more understanding, and more gracefor both your child and yourself.
Sissy Goff , MEd, LPC-MHSP, director of child and adolescent counseling, Daystar Counseling Ministries; speaker; and author of numerous books, including Are My Kids on Track?
Every beleaguered parent who reads this book is going to let out a massive sigh of relief. Finally, a book that is not telling them what to do and how they are not measuring up. Stephen James and Chip Dodd do a masterful job of defining Gods high calling in the life of a parent without adding to their collective sense of regret and guilt for not being perfect. I had to laugh out loud when I read the subheading, Clumsy is as good as it gets! And all the parents said, Amen!
Jimmy Myers , PhD, LPC-S, coauthor of Fearless Parenting: How to Raise Faithful Kids in a Secular Culture
I trust Chip Dodd and Stephen James. I trust and value their work as counselors and teachers. More importantly, I trust them as people and as fathers themselves. These wise men are inviting us into a more sustainable way to parent the kids we love, whatever ages they may be. Chip and Stephen are showing us how to be clumsy and courageous at the same time. I will recommend this book to countless parents, and Ill be revisiting this rich content as a dad myself.
David Thomas , LMSW, director of family counseling, Daystar Counseling Ministries; coauthor of eight books, including Intentional Parenting
As Stephen James and Chip Dodd so effectively articulate, parenting with heart is infinitely more wonderfuland more challenging!than trying to control our kids behavior and future. While we may think having happy, successful children is the highest goal, thats a poor substitute for raising kids who can love and learn from life on lifes terms. Stephen and Chip share vulnerably from their own parenting journeys, guiding those of us who long to embrace the adventure and freedom of being full-hearted parents. In reading this book, you will grow and be transformed, which means your children will grow and be transformed too. Dont settle for endless striving to be a perfect parent. Follow Stephen and Chip and be a gloriously clumsy, fabulously good-enough parent instead.
Dr. Jeramy and Jerusha Clark , authors of several books, including the award-winning Your Teenager Is Not Crazy: Understanding Your Teen s Brain Can Make You a Better Parent
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
2020 by Chip Dodd and Stephen James
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2307-1
Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. Readers should consult their personal health professionals before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Dedication
To all those who live in freedom from addiction and are part of the solution, and to all those who are still searching for freedom and who we pray will find recovery of who they are created to be.
Epigraph
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.... As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to dothis I keep on doing.
Paul (Rom. 7:15, 1719)
Contents
Cover
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Acknowledgments
Authors Note
A Letter to Those Who Are in Addiction
A Letter to Those Who Love Someone Who Is in Addiction
Introduction
Part 1: The Age of Addiction
1. The Invisible Dragon
Gregs Story of Hope
2. The Pandemic
Rachels Story of Hope
3. The Emotional and Relational Costs of Addiction
Marks Story of Hope
Part 2: Understanding Addiction
4. What Is Addiction?
Nates Story of Hope
Sarahs Story of Hope
6. Am I Addicted?
Todds Story of Hope
Part 3: A Path, Not a Pill
7. The Map to Freedom
Kates Story of Hope
8. The Five Tools
Chriss Story of Hope
9. The Paradigm of Sickness and Recovery
Annas Story of Hope
10. Keeping Heart
Notes
Back Ads
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
We thank the GOD who meets us in our neediness and through his presence and power returns people to full life.
Any attempt to address the topic of addiction and recovery in a meaningful and helpful way requires that we go behind the front doors of peoples lives. Addiction is personal. We want to thank the women and men who have shared their stories of recovery that make up so much of this book. Their courage and vulnerability is admirable.
We also want to recognize and thank the professionals who work in the field of addiction with integrity and character. Whether as therapists, pastors, sponsors, physicians, or others, these people do the daily work of offering their experience, strength, and hope to those who need it the most.
We also express our gratitude to those mentors and collaborators who have shared with us their knowledge and care that allow and enable us to create the summative work. We have been assisted personally and professionally all along our careers. Some of their influence clearly has found its way into this work. For that we are grateful.