Stephanie Wild - The Art of Forgiveness: How to Get Past It Without Letting Anyone Off the Hook

Advance Praise

I had the good fortune of witnessing Reverend Wilds gifts firsthand when she was invited to conduct a series of spiritually healing sances with a group of my patients who were addressing issues of trauma and loss.

Even the most skeptical later described a peaceful comfort from engaging with the spirit world, and requested additional sances. Reverend Wild brought a remarkable wisdom and sensitivity that can only come from personal experience, to create a safe and healing experience for all of the participants. Authenticity, strength, and creativity were a few of the adjectives that my patients used to describe her. One compared her to the steadiness of the Earth, solid with only the crust visible but containing great power.

Wilds work is accessible on multiple levels whether you are an adherent of Spiritualism, a believer in Jungian archetypes, of magic and shamanism, or simply an unbeliever with an open mind.

Enjoy this journey with a wonderfully capable guide.

- Nancy Oliveri, LCSW Psychotherapy

How to Get Past It
Without Letting Anyone Off the Hook

HOW TO GET PAST IT
WITHOUT LETTING ANYONE
OFF THE HOOK

Reverend Stephanie Wild

NEW YORK

LONDONNASHVILLEMELBOURNEVANCOUVER

The Art of Forgiveness

How to Get Past It Without Letting Anyone Off the Hook

2018 Reverend Stephanie Wild

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ISBN 9781683507659 paperback

ISBN 9781683507666 eBook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017914172

Cover Design by:

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Interior Design by:

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This book is dedicated to my spirit guides who have been with me all along, though I didnt always know it or believe it. Also, to N, K, J, and W, who trusted me and made me better.

My journey to forgiveness began at the age of 6, when I was first abused by my father. I immediately began to look for reasons why it had happened to me. There was no way I could be happy until I had the answer. I couldnt let it go. The answer was not to be found in my home, nor to be found at school. I couldnt even find it at church.

I kept searching into my 20s. I didnt find the answer at the bottom of a bottle, or in the beds of the many men I met, or in existentialist French literature. Though I tried them all, and more. Life was bleak, and suicide was attractive. People told me I should forgive my father (and my mother for her complicity) to be happy. I couldnt imagine ever doing that. I thought it meant believing that what they did was acceptable; believing that it was OK for them to have put their perverted needs before the integrity of my body and my mind and my spirit; believing that it was OK for them to have used me rather than respect me as a human being and not treat me like their property. Perhaps youre feeling similarly.

More than 10 years of therapy took me through my 30s and helped me untangle the knots of my psyche. After what I had been through, I still had to be the one to do the hard work. I got to know my emotions intimately. I got to know my thoughts as they ran around in my brain, yelling at me. I came to understand why I behaved the way I did; how my behaviors had protected me as a child and how they were hurting me now.

But I still didnt understand why the abuse had happened. I had been a child. I hadnt deserved such betrayal. And I could not believe that it was random and meaningless.

The only place left to explore was the metaphysical realm. I had exhausted logic and analysis. Thus, all my searching, all my research, all my experimenting led me to the world of Spirit. I am not one for blind faith. Not after having lived in the center of a filthy black lie for all of my young life. So, I approached the metaphysical world with a curious, open, but still analytical mind. I wanted evidence.

I studied intuition, consciousness, and metaphysics in earnest. Little by little, the connection between Body and Soul was revealed to me. And I was led to Spiritualism. A science, a philosophy, and a religion. Not a religion that requires blind faith, but a religion that encourages personal investigation and personal connection to Infinite Intelligence.

The principles and practice of Spiritualism explained everything and I found my answer to the question, Why?: The experience of living in our physical bodies allows us to test universal spiritual principles like Cause and Effect (some people call it Karma) and Pure Love. And that is why we go through everything we do on Earth. We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical (and emotional) experience. Earth School is an intensive learning experience.

Eventually, I was called by God (or whatever you want to call it) to become ordained as a Spiritualist Minister. It is in that capacity that I write this book for you.

Very often, forgiveness was a topic of contemplation, conversation, and meditation for me. As I became more peaceful and more serene, I would turn to myself and ask myself, Have you forgiven? One day, the answer was, Yes. And so, I looked back and figured out what I had done. That process is laid out for you here, in this book. You must make the journey, but I hope I can make it easier and faster for you.

Have you ever been told to just let it go? Just move on. Just get over it; get past it. Stop carrying that around with you. I had. But what I hadnt been told was how.

One of the first few people I told about the abuse I experienced was a college friend of mine. She shared that her dad had played rough stuff with her, throwing her head first into the sofa at home and so on. I shared that my dad did something similar, but with a more sexual flavorhe would put me into wrestling holds like the Boston crab. I still dont know if thats an actual wrestling move. The years went on, we partied together, gossiped together, commiserated over boys together, and then, when we were about 25, I brought up the abuses we had suffered once again. She told me, Just let it go, Steph.

I said, But how? What did you do?

I was sitting on the floor at the end of her bed. I had run away from home, finally. I had driven across the country with my boyfriend of the time, and I was desperately trying to find happiness. It was late afternoon. The sun was warm and gentle through her sheer curtains.

She smiled at me and she handed me a little cartoon book. I took it with the yearning of a woman dying of thirst. I thought I would finally have the solution.