Aaron Stern - Whats Your Secret?: Freedom through Confession

What people are saying about

Whats Your Secret?

Aaron Sterns new book, Whats Your Secret? is such an important message for us all, opening the way to a life thats full and free. Life in all its power is waiting for each of us as we step out of the shadows and into healing light. Let Aaron lead you on a beautiful journey to freedom as you tell the truth and let Gods truth set you free.

Louie Giglio, The Passion Movement, Passion City Church

All of us have secrets; some of the secrets are secret sins. Not all of them get confessed. But an unconfessed secret sin is a major impediment to the health of the soul and a life of maturity in Christ. Confession has always been a major concern in the church of Jesus Christ. Aaron Stern draws on the immediacies of a richly textured pastoral practice and explores in detail what is actually involved in carrying it out. A major contribution to both Christian maturity and pastoral competence in this American culture.

Eugene H. Peterson, pastor emeritus of spiritual theology at Regent College

Aaron Stern is a gift to this generation and one of the most remarkable leaders I know. His writing and leadership style will challenge you to walk with integrity, strength, and grace.

Margaret Feinberg, popular speaker and author of Hungry for God (www.margaretfeinberg.com)

Aaron lays out a beautiful challenge to embrace transparency and vulnerability in every part of our lives. This book promises to help all of us walk in the light that brings freedom to every part of our souls.

Brady Boyd, senior pastor at New Life Church and author of Fear No Evil

This book not only touches the heart but also gives practical wisdom to heal it. Aaron shares this ageless message in timely contemporary language that will exhilarate your Christian walk. As you follow his practical suggestions to confess, you will move from your heart to Gods heart and find freedom from those issues that may have previously kept you bound.

Douglass Weiss, PhD, psychologist and author of Get a Grip: How to Take Control of the Things That Are Controlling You

Aaron Stern knows what he is talking about! For over ten years, I have watched young adults find freedom through his ministry. Thats why I am so thrilled to recommend Whats Your Secret? to all. It will accelerate your journey into freedom.

David Perkins, student pastor at New Life Church and founder of Desperation Ministries

WHATS YOUR SECRET?

Published by David C Cook

4050 Lee Vance View

Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.

David C Cook Distribution Canada

55 Woodslee Avenue, Paris, Ontario, Canada N3L 3E5

David C Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications

Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England

David C Cook and the graphic circle C logo

are registered trademarks of Cook Communications Ministries.

All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,

no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form

without written permission from the publisher.

The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.

The author has changed some of the names mentioned in this book for privacys sake.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE . Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group; ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved; and NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , Copyright 1960, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

The author has added italics to Scripture quotations for emphasis.

LCCN 2011926861

ISBN 978-1-4347-0230-2

eISBN 978-0-7814-0695-6

2011 Aaron Stern

The Team: Alex Field, Amy Kiechlin Konyndyk,
Sarah Schultz, Jack Campbell, Karen Athen

Cover Design: JWH Graphic Arts, James Hall

Author Photo: jennarosephotography.net

First Edition 2011

To my wife, Jossie,

for waiting for the words

Contents

Part 1: Come Out of the Dark

Part 2: Walk in the Light

Part 1

Come Out of the Dark

Secrets Can Destroy You

What is it that no one else knows about you?

Maybe there are details about your life that, if disclosed, would result in loss or shame. A decision you wish you had never made. An event you want to forget. Maybe its not something you did but rather something done to you a horrific violation of trust that you want obliterated from your memory. Perhaps you wrestle with tormenting feelings and thoughts that you are convinced no one will understand.

Secrets. We all have them. Human nature seems wired to withhold and tuck away the areas of our lives we deem undesirable. For many of us the best option seems to be keeping secrets out of sight and in checkand hopefully, forever forgotten.

But secrets rarely remain isolated in our hearts. Our frantic attempts to keep them at bay usually lead to an untimely unveiling.

I see it happen all the time.

Floodgates

I love my job. Im a college and twentysomethings pastor, which means I get to experience a passion for life, love for adventure, and young idealism that makes for wild creativity, big risks, and lots of laughs. In the young people I pastor, Ive also found a spiritual hunger that is curious, rich, and deep. I regularly find myself challenged by the intensity of their faith. Perhaps my favorite part of pastoring this demographic is that it allows me to walk with people through some of lifes most critical questions, such as Do I believe in God? What am I going to do with my life? Who will I marry?

These young people are still figuring out what it means to be an adult and how to establish the right life patterns for the long term. In the process of doing all that, they also grapple with the past: abuse, divorce (both their parents and their own), relationship breakups, roommate conflicts, addictions, and more. Its a pivotal time in lifea time that can be a breeding ground for keeping secrets.

This realization prompted me to do a sermon series about secrets. As a part of the series, I included an action step: I asked each person to anonymously write down a secret that no one else knew on a x 1 postcard. Then I asked them to deposit their secrets into one of the baskets placed throughout the auditorium. I was hesitant, wondering if anyone would take up the challenge. Would people really write down the deepest secrets of their hearts?

When the time came, I watched in awe as the lines formed and the baskets filled upsome overflowing with little white cards. It seemed as if giving permission to share a secret had opened the floodgates. Here are just a few of the thousands of secrets collected that night and from other events, conferences, and retreats around the country:

I cant stop hurting myself. I cant stop cutting.

I havent read my Bible in over a year.

I had an abortion last year I wonder if I made the right choice.

Im bipolar.

My brother died when I was in the 5th grade. I havent told any of my friends that it happened. Keeping it hidden eats me up every day.

I think I might be gay. I didnt choose this and I hate it. Im afraid of myself.