Landra Young Hughes - Where Is God in This?: Looking for Gods Goodness in Our Struggles

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33 NIV

Im not really OK.

Thats probably not how you should start a book thats supposed to help people, right? Especially a book about finding value in the struggles and suffering we experience in life. I should probably open with a lighthearted story you can connect with. Something that would engage you, maybe make you smilesomething endearing, almost kitschy. The decline of the Bachelor franchise would be an obvious choice.

But thats not what were doing in this book.

See, Im in the middle of what has to be the most soul-draining season of my life. And right now, it feels dark. It feels heavy. And it feels hopeless.

Notice, I said it feels. Because you know the thing about feelings? Theyre not always a representation of whats true . And this knowledge does assuage the ache slightly, but for the most part, I vacillate between crushing waves of despair and blurry interludes of business as usual.

On January 18, 2021, my precious sister LeeBeth Young died.

LeeBeth was sick. She had been sick for a long time but not the kind of sick that means Get Well Soon balloons and all-you-can-eat ice cream. LeeBeth was an alcoholica binge drinker. Now, if youre not familiar with the disease of addiction, Im sure its impossible to wrap your head around the idea that someone cant stop doing the thing that makes them sicker. But thats the nature of the mental insanity that seizes those of us with this particular thorn.

I say us, because as an anorexic/bulimic in recovery, I have a level of empathy for LeeBeth. By Gods miraculous grace, I walk in healing from my addiction. And by the same miraculous grace, LeeBeth is in heaven with our Father, walking out her healing with a restored mind and body.

Yes, theres the glorious and life-giving hope of heaven. But here on earth, it still hurts.

It had only been a few short years since we realized LeeBeth was a full-blown alcoholic. She never partied growing up. She never drank. She didnt sleep around. In fact, she was pretty perfect by surface standards. But later in life, LeeBeth suffered from loneliness and depression, which transformed her into someone completely different (more on this later). When LeeBeth was sick, it was like she had undergone a total personality transplant. I didnt even know my sister the last few months leading up to her death.