Annie Grace - This Naked Mind: Nicotine: The Science-Based Method to Reclaim Your Health and Take Control Easily

The alarm goes off. I feel tired and groggy, but immediately a positive thought enters my head, one that gets me moving even though Im still half asleep: I can get up and light a cigarette. I get up, grab the cigarettes, and head outside. Its freezing cold but I dont care; the pleasure of that first cigarette of the day far outweighs any minor feeling of discomfort caused by the cold. I light up and take a lungful of smoke.

The taste of the tobacco and the feel of the smoke going into my lungs is wonderful. I immediately feel calmer, more confident, more in control. Everyone knows that smoking kills you, but what non-smokers dont appreciate is the great pleasure in smoking. That feeling of peace and tranquility and confidence that comes when you have a cigarette. Ive smoked for years and Ive tried to stop more times than I can count, and Ive just never managed it. The problem is that the pleasure outweighs the risk. The effect on my health worries me, the sore throat worries me, the coughing worries me. My general lack of fitness worries me. The cost worries me. But stopping just doesnt seem to be a viable option for me. Not because I dont see the harms but, to be honest, because I dont truly want to stop.

The last time I tried to stop I was watching TV, some ridiculous sitcom, and it was infuriating me. The stupid characters, the ridiculous story line, the pathetic jokes. Eventually I just couldnt take any more. I rushed out, got a packet of cigarettes, and sat there and lit one up. Suddenly that ridiculous sitcom didnt bother me in the least. I sat there as happy as anything with my cigarette, even beginning to enjoy the idiocy on the television.

This sums up my life as a smoker. While a part of me feared what it was doing to me, I just couldnt imagine enjoying life without smoking. Being unable to quit, for me, felt less like a failure of willpower and more like a rational decision. Life just wasnt the same without it. Whatever its downsides, it was a necessity rather than a luxury.

Why would I opt for a half life, a miserable life, a life spent wanting something I couldnt have? A life without my regular release from the daily grind? Where I didnt have a little something to lift me up over the never-ending stream of daily frustrations? That little something that stopped me worrying about all the irritating nonsense that life kept throwing at me?

I knew lots of non-smokers, and they exercised and ate healthily. They were people who didnt seem to care about quality of life. Who didnt value sitting back and enjoying the moment. People who would sacrifice quality of their daily lives in order to add a few more years onto their life span. Very simply, they were people who seemed to have very different priorities than mine. I want to enjoy life, to have the ability to sit back and let all the aggravations wash over me without affecting me. For me, smoking was the difference between enjoying life and suffering it.

This is why quitting tobacco is so difficult. Whether you smoke, vape, dip, or chew, it tastes good. It makes you feel good. It gives you a few moments out of the day to rise above the daily grind and just enjoy the moment. It gives you the confidence to deal with all the stresses and strains of everyday life. It gives you confidence when youre socializing. It helps you relax. Its a companion when youre alone. It helps you concentrate when you need to, and it gives you something to do when youre bored. And all the while it gives you a little emotional boost and provides a shield against all the stresses and strains of life.