Thom Hartmann - Living with ADHD: Simple Exercises to Change Your Daily Life

Progress is the injustice each generation commits with regard to its predecessors.

E. M. CIORAN (19111995), ROMANIAN-BORN FRENCH PHILOSOPHER, THE TROUBLE WITH BEING BORN, 1973

Acknowledgments

LIVING WITH ADHD IS A BOOK about healing from the damage done to a person by growing up as a Hunter in a Farmers world, and about learning new ways to see and do things so that what our culture calls ADHD is not so much of a problem in ones life.

Much of the theoretical and practical content of this book is grounded in the technology of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), which was first codified over forty years ago by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Numerous excellent books and courses are available on NLP, and more information is available from The Society of NLP, PO Box 828, Hopatcong, NJ 07843, and on Richard Bandlers website. I am personally indebted to Leif Roland, Tamara Andreas, Michael Breen, Paul McKenna, and, particularly, Richard Bandler for being my real-world in-person trainers in various aspects of NLP. I also respect and thank John Grinder, John La Valle, Rex Steven Sikes, Connierae and Steve Andreas, Robert Dilts, Sidney Rosen, and Jerry Mander for what they have taught me in a less personal (but nonetheless effective) fashion through their writings, tapes, and other publications.

The identities of all clients in this book have been altered to protect their privacy, and some reconstructed conversations have been abbreviated or otherwise modified for the sake of brevity and clarity.

Thanks also go to my agent, Bill Gladstone, and Ehud Sperling, Jon Graham, Jeanie Levitan, Patricia Rydle, Kayla Toher, and the design team at Inner Traditions, who did such a great job bringing this book back into print in a new and improved format.

And special thanks are due to my wife, Louise Hartmann, for providing wise counsel and a writer-supportive environment during the creation of this work.

NLP is a trademark registered in the United Kingdom by Richard Bandler. In all cases, use of NLP in this book is meant to acknowledge that and any other trademarks.

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.

BERTRAND RUSSELL (18721970), BRITISH PHILOSOPHER AND MATHEMATICIAN SUMMARIZING HELVTIUS, A HISTORY OF WESTERN PHILOSOPHY, 1945

Foreword

Richard Bandler

ITS ABOUT TIME somebody started to look at whats considered pathological with new eyes so that we can all see that being different doesnt necessarily mean that something is wrong with you.

You can take the qualities and characteristics, especially of childrenwhether theyre supposed to be hyperactive or have a deficit, disorder, or whatever it may be calledand look at it in a nonpathological way. In this and his other books, Thom Hartmann points out how these behaviors were assets in the pastand how they can be in the present and future as well. He suggests ways that we can begin to look at whats supposedly wrong with our children and ourselves and instead see whats missing in our educational system, whats missing in the skills that are taught to psychotherapists, and whats missing in the things we teach our doctors.

Using the techniques in this book, professionals and nonprofessionals alike can become agents of change and agents of learning. You can learn to use the skills and abilities that come with your genetic structure to transform your life in positive and constructive ways.

Everybody is genetically different in one way or another, but it doesnt have to mean you cant function in the society that we have.

Thoms conceptualization of the ADHD syndrome is refreshing. In a very real sense, we all are a syndromesyndrome is really nothing more than a metaphor itself. The fact is that there is nothing wrong with most of us that a good, clean change of attitude and some new skills wouldnt fix.

I hope that as you read this book thoroughly, it sinks into your mind that these historical perspectives, and the capacity for transformation, are true about you, whether you have ADHD or not.

RICHARD BANDLER is the cofounder of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). He conducts workshops and training seminars internationally and continues to develop new strategies to improve the lives of people around the world.

The First Step to Healing

ODDS ARE YOURE READING this book because you have a child with ADD or ADHD, your spouse has it, you have it yourself, or some combination of these situations apply to your life. In any of these cases, the first step to healing or helping others heal is to see them and yourself in a new waya way that allows for change, offers hope, and provides specific and useful tools. Thats the goal of this book.

Back in the old days, when they milled grain between two huge, round, moving stones, it was common to throw some sand in with the grain as it was poured between the stones. The purpose of this sand was to break up the grain, providing it with a rough, hard surface between the millstones so that the grinding process was more rapid, complete, thorough, and uniform. This sand was referred to as grist.

This book is written in a new language: every word means exactly what it says. Many words also have secondary or tertiary meanings. If you feel a little confused, this is a normal reaction; confusion is one of the first and most primary tools of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

There is considerable discussion in the first half of this book about the nature of reality and the definition of normal. While to the normal reader, this may seem overlong, experience tells me that the ADHD reader will find this among the most liberating and healing parts of the book.

Some of the apparently strong statements of opinion on political or social matters are here to provoke the reader into an encounter with internal mental resistance. When you experience statements that you find offensive, contradictory, or possibly even unbelievable, simply look up and to the right and say to yourself, Oh, that must be one of those rants he told me to look for.

Unless you want to, you dont need to let the content of the rant percolate into your brain; indeed, feel free to not agree with all of it, and not even try to not think about ways it may not beor may betrue or applicable. But do notice how it affects you. This is the grist for your mill of personal transformation, and it provides you with the solid, grounded place from which you can help your child or significant other transform their lives.