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Endorsements
I am deeply grateful to my friend Ron for writing this book. He reinforces Gospel hope that has been lost in too many circles, either abandoned for false teaching or set aside as wishful thinking. With selfless honesty and humility, Ron extends the healing Jesus died to make possible.
Adam T. Barr, author, Compassion without Compromise ; lead pastor, Peace Church
Insightful and intriguing. Ron Citlau offers a compelling voice not often heard in todays conversation surrounding this topic. Throughout Gods Kingdom Hope for the Same- Sex Attracted will prove to be helpful and inspiring.
Bob Bouwer, senior pastor, Faith Church
Glorious. Without demonizing his opponents, Ron burns off the debris and reveals Jesus to persons impacted by same-sex attraction. Thats everyone. Read and bask in the Hope that redeems the struggle and invites us into a new way of being and loving. Best evangelical book on the subject today. Maybe ever.
Andrew Comiskey, founder/director, Desert Stream/Living Waters Ministries
When it comes to navigating the complex topics addressed in the pages of this book, Ron Citlau is on the top of my list of people I trust to handle the conversation biblically, compassionately, and pastorally. As you read, you might find yourself agreeing strongly, disagreeing profusely, or somewhere in between. But, wherever you come from on this important and contemporary topic, you will appreciate Rons wisdom, grace, and honesty.
Rev. Dr. Kevin G. Harney, pastor, author, and founder, Organic Outreach International, KevinGHarney.com
Ron Citlau exhibits warmth, insight, and courage in Hope for the Same- Sex Attracted . I am grateful for this book!
Peter Hubbard, teaching pastor, North Hills Community Church
Pastor Citlau has written a helpful book for Christians struggling with homosexuality. He thoughtfully addresses some of the theological errors of our dayincluding the embrace of a gay Christian identity and same-sex marriage. He vulnerably shares his own struggle and gives realistic, biblical hope for those who forsake homosexuality and pursue Christ.
Jeff Johnston, Issues AnalystMarriage, Homosexuality and Gender, Focus on the Family
A must-read for pastors, counselors, lay leaders, and same-sex strugglers! Citlau addresses current popular roadblocks in Christian circles and suggests solid ways toward transformation. He highlights practical ways the body of Christ can aid the struggler in straining forward to what lies ahead... the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:1314).
Anne Paulk, executive director, Restored Hope Network
Ron Citlau bravely supplies compassionate, biblical counsel on perhaps the most divisive issue of our day. He challenges same-sex-attracted Christians not to identify with their temptation, and he calls the church to be their community of love, healing, and family. This is an important book for all same-sex-attracted Christians, and for the people who love them.
Michael Wittmer, professor of systematic theology, Grand Rapids Theological Seminary, Cornerstone University
Dedication
To my wife, Amy.
There is no one else
that I would rather live this life with.
God has been good to me
by giving me you.
Acknowledgments
There are many people I want to thank on this project. First, Andy McGuire for his and Bethany Houses support of this book. Your team is amazing. Second, I am so thankful to Ellen Chalifoux, who was the primary editor. Her suggestions, questions, and feedback made this a better book. Finally, I want to thank Dr. Todd Billings, Dr. Brian Dennert, Andrew Comiskey, Dorothy Greco, Nate Pyle, and Troy Westercamp, who provided feedback on various chapters. Any mistakes in this book are mine, but the good was refined by these good men and women.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsements
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
PART ONE: OBSTACLES
1. The Obstacle of Gay Christian Identity
2. The Obstacle of Gay Marriage
3. The Obstacle of the Spiritual Friendship Movement
PART TWO: GIFTS
4. The Gift of the Church
5. The Gifts of Healing Communities and Christian Therapy
6. The Gift of Singleness
7. The Gift of Marriage
8. The Gift of Prayerful Lament
PART THREE: FINAL THOUGHTS
9. A Note to Church Leaders
10. A Word of Hope to the Same-Sex-Attracted Christian
Notes
About the Author
Books by Ron Citlau
Back Ad
Back Cover
Introduction
Bob Dylans song got it right: The Times They Are a-Changin. We are now witnessing the emergence of the most gay-affirming culture in human history. Our countrys view of homosexuality has changed seemingly overnight. A majority of Americans now see absolutely nothing wrong with same-sex relationships, and gay marriage is now a constitutionally protected right. Secular culture has spoken: Gay marriage provides the best relational framework for gay persons to flourish and find happiness. Sadly, even some Christians agree. Meanwhile, the rest of us struggle to explain why following Jesus is better for a same-sex-attracted person than a lifelong, love-filled, committed same-sex relationship.
Seizing on the cultural upheaval, some in the church are now asserting that the churchs current stance against homosexual activity is not just wrong, but actually detrimental to same-sex-attracted Christians. For them, such a prohibition stands in the way of gay Christians flourishing in their relational and sexual lives. They believe that for the good of same-sex strugglers, Christians need to embrace same-sex marriage. Why would the church deny gay men and women something that will make them so happy?
For them, it all seems so obvious if one is willing to consider the evidence. There are many men and women who have accepted their gay identity, are in committed same-sex relationships, and are Christians. They happily proclaim that gay marriage is a gift from God. They seem to be flourishing. And then there are stories of men and women who tried to live faithfully from a traditional perspective but only experienced pain, loneliness, and failure. If we take such stories seriously, what conclusions are we to draw? What are we to think?
All of this creates a challenge for evangelical Christianity. We must be able to give adequate and hope-filled answers to the questions of those who disagree with us and show why following Jesus can lead to a life of flourishing for the same-sex struggler. We need to be able to show same-sex-attracted Christians how they can live out their sexual and relational lives in ways that honor Jesus and fulfill the deep aches of the heart. If we believe that same-sex strugglers must refuse to act on their same-sex desires for the sake of following Jesus, then I think it is up to the church to show the ways they can find relational fulfillment in Jesus and his church. Until we do this, the good news will not be very good to the same-sex struggler.