Rudy Simone - The A to Z of ASDs: Aunt Aspies Guide to Life

by the same author

Aspergirls

Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

ISBN 978 1 84905 826 1

eISBN 978 0 85700 289 1

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Aspergers Syndrome

ISBN 978 1 84905 803 2

eISBN 978 1 84642 945 3

22 Things a Woman with Aspergers Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

Illustrated by Emma Rios

ISBN 978 1 84905 883 4

eISBN 978 0 85700 586 1

The A to Z
of ASDs

Aunt Aspies Guide to Life

Rudy Simone

Foreword by Stephen M. Shore

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

First published in 2016

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Rudy Simone 2016

Foreword copyright Stephen M. Shore 2016

Front cover image source: Rudy Simone.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying, storing in any medium by electronic means or transmitting) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the law or under terms of a licence issued in the UK by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd. www.cla.co.uk or in overseas territories by the relevant reproduction rights organization, for details see www.ifrro.org. Applications for the copyright owner's written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorized act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Names: Simone, Rudy, author.

Title: The A to Z of ASDs : Aunt Aspie's guide to life / Rudy Simone ;

foreword by Stephen M. Shore.

Description: Philadelphia : Jessica Kingsley Publishers, [2016] | Includes

bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016012061 | ISBN 9781785921131 (alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Asperger's syndrome--Patients--Life skills guides. | Autistic

children--Life skills guides. | Autistic people--Counseling of.

Classification: LCC RC553.A88 S5674 2016 | DDC 616.85/8832--dc23 LC record available at https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__lccn.loc.gov_2016012061&d=BQIFAg&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM&r=4EemtO9R1x-uacXap7EaQ1RHPq9-MnYBwnfuC-ulpHU&m=g0y7uFJopbrlsDIkA4KNI64PeNFBjIKzBfn16vIrQ-w&s=TuBtAMzrz9gkQ3LJ8dB4gv7JD2sPXB0nCSBUVGfVlyQ&e=

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 78592 113 1

eISBN 978 1 78450 377 2

Contents

Foreword

Dear Aunt Aspie,

Please tell me what to call your amazing guide to life with Autism Spectrum Differences that seems like a dictionary? Or is it a dictionary thats a guide? Once again, Rudy Simone gifts the autism community with straightforward, deeply insightful, and oft controversial, wit garnered from wide-ranging interviews, research and a lifetime as a person on the autism spectrum.

Blasting away myths of autism, such as the lack of desire or need for contact with others, Rudy illuminates terminology, concepts and ideas with the brilliant sunshine of understanding and complete acceptance for who people on the autism spectrum are. For example, the first word abnormal is described for what it is, peeling away the negativity that so often accompanies it. Heckwhy would someone want to be normal after reading her definition?

Literally, from cradle to grave, Ms. Simone expertly explains the person on the autism spectrum in life-affirming guidance ranging from babies and parenting to dealing with depression, anxiety and black and white thinking. Other pearls of wisdom include successful navigation of transition into the adult worlds of effective self-advocacy, employment, relationships of all kinds, employment and other aspects of living amongst the land of grown-ups.

Chock-full of Aspie wisdom, the expertise brought forward in The A to Z of ASDs provides ready access to vital techniques and insights that, when employed as needed, empower individuals with autism and those who care for them with powerful strategies for leading fulfilling and productive lives with authenticity.

Most profoundly, Aunt Aspie gives us permission and, even more importantly, encouragement to be the unique and different people we are while remaining realistic of the many significant challenges that come with being on the autism spectrum. This guide or is it a dictionary ?is a must-read for anyone desiring to gain deeper understanding of what it is like to be autistic, and ultimately what it means to be human.

Stephen M. Shore, Ed.D.
Clinical Assistant Professor at Adelphi University
Internationally known author, speaker and individual on the autism spectrum

Acknowledgments

To all of my dear friends on and off the spectrum, and my followers on social media. You tolerated my rants and mood swings over the years and were always up for an intelligent chat even when I wasnt.

To my editor, Jessica, for her patience and wisdom.

To Hugo Horiot, for convincing me I still had work, and life, ahead of me.

To my daughter Lena, the one I turn to for comfort, wise counsel and cups of tea.

To Wes, who gives me sage advice and big hugs, no matter where I am in the world.

To Lorraine, who never slammed the door.

To Chris, who gave me love and a much-needed revelation the very day I finished this manuscript.

Thank you all.

Disclaimer

Aunt Aspie is not a psychologist, doctor or nutritionist. All the information in this book is taken from interviews (with autistics and top professionals), life experience, common sense, folk wisdom and research. You are advised to seek the advice of a medical professional if deciding to alter your course of medicine or make any similar changes in diet and lifestyle.

Everyone who reads this book will probably disagree with (or even be offended by) what they read at least once. It is neither our wish nor goal to be politically correct or middle of the road. If thats what youre looking for, youve come to the wrong Aunties house. There are some mild expletives in this book as well as some candid discussion on sexual matters, matters of violence and other things some people might find upsetting.

Lastly, not everything will apply to all people. And while we have tried to be as comprehensive and thorough as possible, if there are entries or viewpoints we have left out or not devoted as much time to as youd like, we do apologize. We had to leave books for you to write.

Aunt Aspie is a character of The Aspergirl Show TM and is the intellectual property of Rudy Simone. All rights reserved.

Introduction

Im very fortunate that through writing and music I can communicate my thoughts and feelings to others and usually be understood. However, like many of my readers, off stage and off page, I dont seem to receive the same understanding in daily life. This is the constant dichotomy of Aspergers: the hidden talents, the unspoken insights, the deep waters obscured by a turbulent, troubled or even blank surface. When we are around others and in new or chaotic environments, we process in such a way that while we are focusing on one thing, we may miss others. Whether it is manners, humor, discretion, gracefulness or problem-solving that gets put on hold, it is often difficult for us to show our whole true selves, to be, and give the appearance of, feeling comfortable in our skin, sharp as a tack, or light on our feet, though we may be all of those things at different times.