Cynthia Kim - Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life

Cynthia Kim unequivocally captures the true essence of what it means to be autistic! What it means to be me! She helps you understand yourself, which enables you to struggle less with yourself and life. Theres no doubt about it that Aspies are complex. Kim addresses all facets of what makes us different head-on. From shutting down to contentment and peace, its all covered in this eye-opening account of living with Aspergers. Insight and advice follow each section for a clear and concise plan to help in your everyday life.

Anita Lesko, BSN, RN, MS, CRNA, internationally recognized autism advocate and author of Been There. Done That. Try This!, also published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

In this honest and beautifully articulate book, Cynthia Kim reflects back on her life before and after her recent diagnosis, and she describes how her diagnosis helped her to gain a new understanding of herself and events in her past. The book is packed full of useful tips for others with Aspergers, and her own experiences with marriage and raising a child provide a valuable perspective that is both eye-opening and a real pleasure to read.

Elisabeth Hurley, PhD, Research Officer, Autism West Midlands, UK

I have been a fan of Cynthia Kims blog, Musings of an Aspie , for many years. This book has everything Ive come to expect from her blog and more. Poignant and practical by turns, and always insightful, this book is a must-read for anyone trying to get a better understanding of autism.

Lynne Soraya, blogger for Psychology Today and author of Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum

of related interest

Pretending to be Normal

Living with Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

2nd Edition

Liane Holliday Willey

ISBN 978 1 84905 755 4

eISBN 978 0 85700 987 6

Aspergirls

Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

Rudy Simone

Foreword by Liane Holliday Willey

ISBN 978 1 84905 826 1

eISBN 978 0 85700 289 1

Been There. Done That. Try This!

An Aspies Guide to Life on Earth

Edited by Tony Attwood, Craig R. Evans and Anita Lesko

ISBN 978 1 84905 964 0

eISBN 978 0 85700 871 8

Nerdy, Shy,

AND Socially

Inappropriate

A U SER G UIDE TO AN A SPERGER L IFE

C YNTHIA K IM

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

First published in 2015

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Cynthia Kim 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 610 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 84905 757 8

eISBN 978 0 85700 949 4

To Sang Hwan,
who has embraced
every step of this journey

Contents

Acknowledgments

This book began as me talking to myself, posting entries to a brand new blog that no one was reading. I saw it as free therapy, a way to process my feelings about discovering that I was autistic. As I found other bloggers and began to participate in the online autism community, a group of writers took me under their wing and shared my blog posts with their readers. In particular, I want to thank my fellow bloggers Ariane Zurcher, Heather Clark, Leah Kelley, and Shawna Hinkle. I am deeply grateful for their encouragement and support in those early days.

I have been fortunate to be blessed with an active and enthusiastic group of people who comment on my blog, sharing their stories and experiences. While they are too numerous to mention by name, I am sincerely grateful to each and every one of them. They have enriched my writing by helping me better understand what it means to be autistic and by keeping me honest. Time and again, Im reminded of how much those on the spectrum have in common and at the same time how varied we are. I am especially indebted to Kathryn Black, Anne Dane, and Nat Titman for their extensive feedback on early drafts of much of what eventually made it into this book.

Thank you to the editors who have published my work over the past two years, including Julia Begley and Elisabeth Hurley at Autism West Midlands, Shannon Des Roches Rosa at Thinking Persons Guide to Autism , Leslie Burby at Autism Parenting Magazine , and Sharon da Vanport at Autism Womens Network.

I owe special thanks to Ariane Zurcher for inadvertently inspiring the structure of this book. Her chance comment in an online discussion helped me find the thread that would bind all of the pieces together.

Its not an exaggeration to say that Jessica Kingsley has made one of my long-time dreams come true by bringing this book into print. I am indebted to her and to the people at Jessica Kingsley Publishers, particularly Bethany Gower, Victoria Peters, and Lisa Clark, who have been a pleasure to work with.

Over the past two years, Ive been privileged to meet many, many dedicated bloggers and advocates who are working tirelessly to promote autism acceptance. The sense of community Ive found among them has been a source of joy and strength. Thank you especially to Sarah Ackermann, Etienne Anders, Emily Paige Ballou, Heather Clark, Sharon da Vanport, Anne Dane, Jeannie Davide Rivera, Lori Miller Degtiarev, Adrienne Erazo, Alex Forshaw, Alyssa Hillary, Shawna Hinkle, Natalie Genz Jerkins, Sparrow Rose Jones, Leah Kelley, Sandy Kinnamon, Ine Louw, Michael Scott Monje Jr., Beth Ryan, Kassiane Alexandra Sibley, Renee Salas, Amy Sequenzia, Linda Stanley, Nat Titman, Lei Wiley-Mydske, and Ariane Zurcher.

In spite of my best efforts, Im sure there are people Ive forgotten to include here and I beg their forgiveness.

I am grateful to my parents Bill and Judy, who gave me the space to be me when I was growing up and who indulged all of my many childhood obsessions.

Special thanks and love to my daughter Jess. Not only has she been my number one cheerleader on this project from day one, she has generously allowed me to write about our relationship and has unflinchingly shared her thoughts about what it means to have an autistic mom. Her insight and support have been invaluable throughout the writing of this book and always.

Most of all, thank you to Sang, for being there, always. Throughout the writing of this book, he read my drafts, made suggestions, pushed me to dig deeper, gamely played along with my experiments, and listened to me ramble about autism in the way only someone with a newly discovered special interest can. More than that, he has been my constant in life, there to lift me up when Im feeling down and to catch me when I fall and, most of all, to fly beside me when I soar.

Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate

Ive been autistic all my life, but I didnt know it until I was in my forties.