John Kennedy Vaughan - The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life

2018 John Kennedy Vaughan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

The Right Fight
How to Live a Loving Life

Unless otherwise indicated, Scriptures are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide, www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Brown Christian Press
16250 Knoll Trail Drive, Suite 205
Dallas, Texas 75248
www.BrownChristianPress.com
(972) 381-0009

A New Era in Publishing

Names: Vaughan, John Kennedy
Title: The right fight : how to live a loving life / John Kennedy Vaughan. Description: Dallas, Texas : Brown Christian Press, a division of Brown Books Publishing, [2018]
Identifiers: ISBN 9781612542959 (hardcover)
Subjects: LCSH: Love--Religious aspects--Christianity. | God (Christianity)-- Love. | Fear--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Choice (Psychology)--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Christian life.
Classification: LCC BV4639 .V38 2018 | DDC 241.4--dc23

eISBN 978-1-61254-303-1
LCCN 2018951841

Printed in the United States
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For more information or to contact the author, please go to
www.ShieldsOfStrength.com.

This book is dedicated to my grandfather, Ed Vaughan. Although I never met him, his enormous influence on my life reverberates today. His example shows me there are no bounds to a truly selfless love.

Foreword

I thought I was only going so that I could eat lunch and give counsel, but I left chewing on some new concepts that would take a long time to digest. Looking back, it was the brief, unexpected conversation after the meeting that I would remember and wrestle with the most. It was a conversation that caused me to deconstruct and then reconstruct my conceptual framework about a subject that determines if life is going to be fruitful or fruitless. I was one of five people that was invited to the lunch meeting to offer advice to an aspiring minister. I was supposed to be the one leaving someone else with something to think about.

One by one, the five of us took turns sharing our personal experiences and serving up what we hoped to be eye-opening advice. I remember each one of my colleagues offering nuggets of wisdom, and I hoped that when it was my turn, I could do the same. But when it was Kennys turn, he presented an insightful, literally life-changing perspective on a subject that I thought I had already figured out but knew deep down that I didnt live out. And while his insight about the subject of love exposed my self-serving definition and practice of love, it was the humility that came out during his presentation that convinced me that he not only believed what he was talking about but lived it. His content about the subject matter and the way he presented it arrested my attention, and I had to hear more than that just a five-minute sound bite. As we were shaking hands and saying our goodbyes, Kenny and I engaged in a brief personal conversation in which he challenged common misconceptions about love accompanied by simple solutions that would radically transform my interaction with others. That brief conversation began a friendship that continues to this day, and it was the start of a personal journey that would help me move toward becoming a more loving husband, father, employer, leader, and friend.

What you hold in your hand is a gift that could radically change every interaction and relationship you have. I got it in bits and pieces. You get it as a whole. If youre like me, you have purchased book after book with the hope that someone elses insight would help expand your perspective and introduce you to truth that would lead to needed change. If youre like me, most of those books were quickly abandoned before chapter three because it didnt meet the substance or interest test. Im confident that The Right Fight will hold your attention and challenge your perspective and application of love. And if it causes you to rethink what love is and helps you love others better, it will not only be a gift to you, but a long-remembered gift to everyone you have the opportunity to love. Can you imagine the value you would show your family and friends if you really became a loving person? Can you imagine the legacy you would leave if you really became a loving person?

Reg Lloyd

Preface

This book was born from my desire to share with my children what I had learned about living a fruitful life. More than anything, I wanted to teach them that the quality of their lives would depend on their decisions every day to choose love, not fearto be fearlessly loving, considering others before themselves at every turn.

This book is the result of almost a decade of work, and over the years, it has only become clearer to me how critical the lessons contained inside are to living a strong and fruitful life.

My prayer is that this book will help you to understand what fear really is, what love really is, and how they work to frame our lives. I hope, from these pages, that you can find the power and the insight to build strong roots for your life fed not by selfish fear but by selfless love. May the choices lined out on these pages set you on the path of strength and boundless hope and joyin the hard times and the good.

Acknowledgments

Thank you, Mom and Dad. You loved me, Bonnie, and Gabe so well that Gods love for us all made perfect sense. From both of you I learned that there is no end to a parents love and that love gives and protects, expecting nothing in return.

A thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Roccaforte for loving Tammie and leading her to the truth of Gods Word. Her love for me and our children is a reflection of both your hearts.

My thanks to Paul Laminack, who helped me turn an idea in my head into a picture of a live, fruitful tree fed by roots of love. And a special thanks to Marcia Davis, Julianne Webber, and Hallie Raymond for helping communicate these life-changing truths, and to the people at Brown Books for helping me get them to the world.

Most of all, thank you, Tammie, for loving me and leading me from fear to love. Youre the most loving woman I know, and somehow, thanks be to God, I get to be your husband. I have seen more courage in you then any man I have ever known, and your constant clarity on the source of your strength brought me to Jesus. Thank you for believing in me when I didnt think I could and for leading me to He Who helps me do all things. Without you and Jesus, I am nothing.

Ice Cream, My Kids, and My New Truck

No more ice-cream runs, I said to the kids. I was not trying to be mean, but it was really the only responsible thing to do.

My three kidsFaith, Grace, and Kennedywere nine, six, and two at the time. My wife, Tammie, and I have always liked to do little things with them now and then that are simple but fun and kind of spontaneous. As a result, you never know when a do-nothing evening might turn into a 9 p.m. ice-cream, taco, or french-fry run. My mom used to make similar trips with me and my siblings, and I still remember the excitement of those nighttime excursions. I love sharing those simple adventures with my children, seeing their excitement, and knowing we are making special memories.