Stacey Freedenthal - Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do

Nothing hurts more than losing your loved one to suicide. Nothing terrifies more than your loved one feeling or acting suicidal. Most people feel helpless, confused, and paralyzednot knowing what to say, do, think, or feel. This precious book is an essential guide through the perilous storm, a treasure both for everyone who feels suicidal, and for everyone who loves them.

Allen Frances, MD , professor and chair emeritus in the Duke University department of psychiatry

What do I do? is the most frequently asked question I receive from family members, friends, and coworkers hoping to support and help someone they care about who has suicidal thoughts. Finally, theres a simple, easy-to-follow how-to guide that can help anyone asking this question. Stacey Freedenthals book fills a much-needed gap in suicide prevention and should be available in every mental health clinic, crisis center, and school. Ill be ordering in bulk to make sure I always have a copy on hand to share with those who need it.

Craig J. Bryan, PsyD, ABPP , stress, trauma, and resilience professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at The Ohio State University College of Medicine; and author of Rethinking Suicide: Why Prevention Fails, and How We Can Do Better

Stacey Freedenthals book is an incredible journey into the lives of those who love people that think of suicide. The book helps all who read it ask the tough questions, manage guilt, and create a mental health plan before a tragedy strikes. It is a deep look into how people who have thoughts of suicide can find hope, light, and purpose, as well as all of the reasons to be here tomorrow.

Kevin Hines , storyteller; award-winning filmmaker; and author of Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt

Stacey Freedenthal has done the impossiblecombined scholarship with decades of personal and professional experience to write an easy-to-understand and endlessly helpful guide about supporting loved ones through one of the most confusing and complex human experiencessuicidal thoughts. Stacey gives her readers exactly what they wantanswers and a path forward without resorting to platitudes and cliches. I will be recommending Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts to everyone.

Jonathan B. Singer, PhD, LCSW , professor at Loyola University Chicago School of Social Work, past president of the American Association of Suicidology, and coauthor of Suicide in Schools

Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts is a brilliant, beautifully written resource for all who support people struggling with suicidal thoughts. Stacey Freedenthals clear, practical advice is a gift to family members, friends, and therapists seeking to understand and help loved ones with suicidal thoughts. Her empathy and expertise radiate throughout each page of this comprehensive, compassionate guide.

Kathryn Gordon, PhD , licensed clinical psychologist, and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook

Powerful, personal, professional, and unique. These are the first four words that sprung to mind when I read Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts . Genuinely, there is no book like this out there. Written by someone with decades of experience working in the field of suicide prevention, this book deals with all of the big questions around supporting a loved one who is suicidal. A must-read!

Rory OConnor, PhD , director of the Suicidal Behaviour Research Lab at the University of Glasgow, president of the International Association for Suicide Prevention, and author of When It Is Darkest: Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It

Having lived in that dark place for more than thirty-five years, I can confidently say that Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts gives you a clear-cut understanding of how to effectively help our loved ones who are in this dark place. I have a history of twenty-two suicide attempts, so having a book that helps describe the emotions that Ive always wanted to share with the people who love me the most is phenomenal.

Kevin Berthia , suicide survivor and prevention advocate whose story of hope has touched diverse audiences around the world

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Unless otherwise noted, this books examples of people with suicidal thoughts and their loved ones are fictitious.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

New Harbinger Publications is an employee-owned company.

Copyright 2023 by Stacey Freedenthal

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

All Rights Reserved

Cover design by Amy Daniel

Acquired by Jennye Garibaldi

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Freedenthal, Stacey, author.

Title: Loving someone with suicidal thoughts : what family, friends, and partners can say and do / Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2023] | Series: The new harbinger loving someone series | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2022037199 | ISBN 9781648480249 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Suicidal behavior--Prevention. | Suicide--Prevention. | Suicidal behavior--Patients--Family relationships. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Mood Disorders / Depression | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / General

Classification: LCC RC569 .F717 2023 | DDC 362.28--dc23/eng/20221017

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022037199

This book is dedicated to my best teacher of all My mother, Beverly Freedenthal

Contents

Foreword

T here is no one in the field of suicidology quite like Dr. Stacey Freedenthal. She has uniquely positioned herself professionally and has an uncanny ability to connect with the larger public through her Speaking of Suicide website, social media contributions, and her spectacular writingboth scholarly and her larger media contributions. Notably, Dr. Freedenthal is a person with her own lived experience of suicidality and she has spoken bravely, and with tremendous candor and insight, about what it is like to struggle with suicide. Her voice from this perspective is often breathtaking in her abject honesty, courage, and transparency.

Objectively, Dr. Freedenthal is an accomplished scholar with an excellent record of peer-reviewed empirical publications. She is an award-winning teacher as an Associate Professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work. Dr. Freedenthal is also an accomplished clinical provider who speaks with clarity about clinical truths relevant to working with someone who wrestles with thoughts of suicide. However, these descriptive details do not begin to capture what is truly special about Dr. Freedenthals perspective on suicide, particularly about the subjective nature of suicidal suffering. It is not hyperbole to say that no one in the field writes about suicide quite like she does.