Christina Scotch - I Feel That: Uplifting Quotes and Inspiring Pocket Wisdom for Every Mood

EBURY

UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa

Ebury is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.

First published in the United States by TarcherPerigee in 2022
First published in Great Britain by Pop Press in 2022

Copyright Christina Scotch 2022

Book design by Christina Scotch

The moral right of the author has been asserted

ISBN: 978-1-529-19320-6

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

To everyone who has been there, too

Some days I feel like I could write the sequel to Hamilton and win The Great British Bake Off. Other daysand these happen far more frequentlyI struggle to put on a sports bra, and it feels like heating up my Trader Joes frozen burrito is a big commitment. YOU MIGHT BE HAVING ONE OF THOSE SPORTS BRA/FROZEN BURRITO DAYS. And I feel that. In my case, my barrier to motivation has always been my fear of failure. Im constantly asking myself, Whats the point if I cant be the best? If I cant do it perfectly, why do it at all? Case in point, lets take it back to five-year-old Christie. My French father wanted my siblings and me to learn the language at a young age, so we went to an all-French-speaking preschool. One day, a couple of weeks into school, the teacher called my mother to tell her I had yet to utter a word in class. When my mother approached me about this, I told her that until I learned to speak French perfectly, I would not speak in class. She kindly walked me through my failed logic, and I eventually mustered the courage to speak my less-than-perfect French in class, but looking back, its interesting to see how this situation applies to so many life experiences. Ultimately, my desire to speak the language perfectly was actually what was preventing me from getting to the level of all the other kids. They were willing to fail, to mispronounce or misuse some words, but with every mistake, they learned something and got better. Whereas I, by not even trying, saved myself from potential failure but also prevented myself from learning and growing in ways that would lead to my eventual success. Such is the case with just about every worthy goal in life. Its so much easier to never try at all than it is to take the chance and give it your all, especially when success is not guaranteed. As the saying goes, however, Nothing great ever comes from comfort zones. Its our willingness to make mistakes, get messy, get uncomfortable, and do hard things that ultimately leads to the greatest rewards. Failure is not the end of success but merely a necessary step toward it. The key is just to start!

I wish I could say I am so self-actualized that I focus solely on my own self and never compare or compete with anyone but Im a graphic designer, not a saint. It seems that from a young age, competition is something thats ingrained in everything we do. As a kid, your intelligence, talents, and accomplishments are all measured, not by how good you are at [fill in the blank], but by how much better you are at [fill in the blank] than your peers. And in adulthood, it gets even worse. WHY IS IT THAT NO MATTER HOW GOOD WE HAVE IT, ITS NEVER ENOUGH UNTIL WE HAVE IT BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE? A prime culprit in this culture of competitiveness is my frenemy Instagram (and basically every other social media platform). When I first started Quotes by Christie, I had about five followers (shout-out to my family!), and I would be happy to get even ten likes on a post. I was posting and creating for the joy of it, with no regard for my follower or like count. As I continued to grow, however, this changed. Even though I was now getting thousands of likes and followers instead of dozens, that wasnt good enough unless I got more likes than that other post or gained more followers than that other account. No matter how well things were going for me, my only measure of success became how much better they were going for me than for others. This toxic mindset plagued me for a long time, and I know Im not the only one who has experienced this. It feels impossible nowadays not to compare every aspect of our lives to everyone elses, especially when their highlight reels are constantly being broadcast during our rehearsals. Heres a thought that has really helped me as Ive struggled. Its a completely crazy, bonkers, totally insane idea, but what if there was room for all of us to shine? What if someone elses beauty, success, or talent didnt take away from our own beauty, success, or talent? Well, I come bearing good news, my dear stranger-friends: it DOESNT. No one can shine the way you do, but everyone can shine the way they do, and theres room for all of that light in this big ol world! If we focused all the energy we put into competing with others into being our best selves, imagine what we could do. And once we know that theres room for everyone to be great, what if we also put some of that leftover energy (the portion saved from not comparing ourselves to every Instagram model) into helping others become their best selves? Well then, you shine, they shine, we all shine, and the world becomes a very, very bright place.