Charlie Craggs - To My Trans Sisters

TO MY

TRANS SISTERS

Edited by
Charlie Craggs

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Introduction

I created this book because I really struggled in the early days of my transition I didnt know any other trans girls at the time, so I didnt have a big sister figure in my life to do what a big sister is supposed to do: help me with my make-up, give me dating advice, teach me how be a strong woman. If youre reading this book, theres a good chance youre in that same situation right now. I created this book for you the book I wish Id had at the start of my transition. This book will act as that source of sisterly advice, but you dont get just one sister you get almost 100 and some amazing sisters at that!

From dealing with that 5 oclock shadow to dealing with transphobia, in sharing the lessons we have learned on our journeys to womanhood, I hope youll be able to avoid making the same mistakes as us, or at least be prepared for the situations when they occur. After all, sometimes you have to make the mistake yourself to learn the lesson, but at least you can take solace in this book, seeing that we have all been where you are. We made it to the other side, and if we can, you can too, sis.

The women in this book have not only made it through transition though, theyve made it to the top, and I hope that you can draw inspiration, not only from the advice they share in their letters, but also from the biographies that accompany their letters, detailing what these incredible women have achieved in their lives and careers.

This book contains letters from almost 100 trailblazing trans women: politicians, scientists, models, athletes, authors, actresses, business women, activists, musicians, veterans, beauty queens, religious leaders, celebrities and straight-up trans icons; women of all different ages, races, creeds and sexualities. Women with different views, different stories and different advice capturing the diversity of the trans experience.

But as different as the women and their stories are, there is one common thing that runs through each letter and the veins of each woman featured in this book: resilience. We are some strong ass women. Almost every letter in this book contains stories of prejudice, rejection, hate but despite all the hardship girls like us face, we still choose to exist, bravely, boldly and beautifully. It is an achievement to simply survive in this world as a trans woman, but as the women in this book show, not only do we survive, we thrive.

This book is here to support you at the start of your journey, but I urge you to go out and find your sisters in real life too. They will get you through the tough times, because only our sisters understand the struggle we go through, and will also be there to celebrate you as you take strides forward on this journey to becoming who you truly are. In the meantime though, until you find your people, you have this book we are your people, we are your sisters, we love you.

This book celebrates the women who blazed a trail and created a path for the next generation. This book celebrates you, the next generation of girls at the beginning of your journey. This book celebrates trans sisterhood, in all its excellence.

This book is dedicated to my trans sisters From your trans sisters.

Disclaimer

Transitioning is an intensely personal experience and individual to those who go through it. As a result, the language used by the writers of these letters is specific to their context and how they view themselves and their transition.

Christine Burns

...............................

Christine Burns, MBE, is a British political activist who was a leading figure in Press for Change (a lobbying and legal support organisation for trans people in the UK formed in 1992). Christine played a pivotal role, alongside colleagues, in obtaining legal recognition for trans people in the UK, working closely with ministers and civil servants during the creation of the Gender Recognition Bill. She was awarded an MBE in 2005 in recognition of her work for trans rights. She was featured on the Independent on Sunday s 2011 Pink List of influential LGBT people in the UK.

...............................

To my trans sisters,

So youve taken the plunge and begun your transition. Congratulations!

I can imagine that, just in order to get to this landmark moment, you will probably have spent years and years of solitary introspection. Youll have been through every aspect of this in your mind. Youll have drained the Internet dry looking for answers and role models. Youll have tried to work out where these powerful and insistent feelings came from. Youll have looked for ways to make them go away or even just mitigate them. You may have checked out whether you were just a cisgender gay or lesbian, or whether cross-dressing occasionally was the answer. When you exhausted these lines of thought youll have gone on to agonise over the possible ramifications of permanent transition: Is this going to be the step that ends important relationships forever? Will people parents, siblings, relatives, friends, co-workers accept you? Will there be hazards and barriers on the road ahead? Will your GP be a help or a hindrance? Do you want hormones? If so, what problems might you face getting them? Do you feel that surgeries are part of the solution you need? Are you binary or non-binary? Will your post-transition self identify as straight or gay or bisexual? How will potential lovers react to you? Will you be able to keep your job?

Im not going to try to answer ANY of those questions. Everyone is unique. The right answers for you are what youll have thought about endlessly already. I wont insult you by assuming you havent thought hard about every aspect. And I certainly wont presume to offer advice on any of those things. Everyone needs to find the answers that are right for them alone. Besides, the options have changed beyond recognition in the decades since I was in your shoes.

So, what wisdom CAN I offer?

The first thing is that people can surprise you. The people you anticipate being the most likely to reject you may turn out to be unexpected allies. I thought, for instance, that my parents might very possibly reject me. I based that on things they had done and said before they had any inkling of what I was feeling inside, and I delayed my transition for some time because I wasnt sure whether I was ready to cope with losing them. In the event, they turned out to be my staunchest allies and cheerleaders. We became far closer. I had been so, so, wrong. And the lesson was that we should keep an open mind. I wanted folks to be open-minded about me, but I hadnt kept my mind open about them. It cost me years of needless worry.

The second thing is to be prepared for your viewpoint to change with time and experience. Its inevitable really: youre going to be looking at the world from a completely different vantage point. People will respond to you in new ways, because people DO respond to men and women differently. It stands to reason that your responses will change too. You might think you know who youll be attracted to, for instance. But our perspectives can change when we have a different body with which to experience intimacy. Im making no predictions here. Just keep an open mind and heart.

Finally, my advice is to not rush into trans advocacy until youve given yourself time to learn about the very diverse community youre joining. That may sound like an ancient croc of an activist telling the newcomers to watch their place, but its really not meant from that perspective. Its hugely tempting to want to go out and join the fight. And yet weve all seen people who transition and then driven by the enthusiasm to communicate and explain get into hot water because their ideas were still a work in progress. Give it time. Observe what others do and say. The fight will still be there next year. Spend that time reading whatever you can find out about our communitys history. That knowledge will make you a better advocate anyway. And compare what you *would* have said in a given debate with what more experienced people are saying. They might not necessarily be right, but asking questions will aid in understanding why we argue one way rather than another.