Rebecca Sparrow - Find Your Tribe (and 9 Other Things I Wish Id Known in High School)

The truth is, despite having written a novel entitled The Girl Most LikelyI wasnt. I wasnt the girl most likely to succeed in high school. I wasnt a prefect. I didnt win any awards in my final year. Not a single one. In fact, in high school, I was fairly average. I got pretty good grades, I guess, but I didnt top any subjects. And I certainly didnt stand out. Although when I look back at photos of me at seventeen Im not entirely sure how I DIDNT stand out considering that I looked like Harold Bishop with a perm (turn to section entitled Recommended websites for proof).

And while were being honest, lets just say that high school also handed me some of my most crushing moments. Yep. Nobody invited me to my school formal. A guy that I was madly in love with barely knew I even existed. I was so bad at maths I ended up having to do Maths in Society (where the maths-challenged kids learn how to turn on a calculator). And despite the fact that Id been playing netball since I was nine, I wasnt even chosen for the C-grade team in high school. Talk about a blow to the ego.

But heres the weird bit. Despite all that rotten stuff, I loved high school. Yep. Loved it. Im one of those people who can actually, genuinely say they enjoyed it. A number of my closest friends today are the people I whispered secrets to during modern history and French and drama (and, clearly, PE and maths). Im beginning to suspect that my grades wouldve been better if Id actually shut up and paid attention in class.

Regardless of whether you hate the school, the teachers, the uniform, the subject choices or the quality of the lamingtons they serve at the tuckshop, high school gives you the chance to form some amazing new friendships and create memories you will hold close to your heart for many years to come. I had a great time hanging out with my friends, hatching plans to get boys to notice us and being in a number of school playsand a not-so-great time analysing Hamlet to the point I wanted to vomit. (The guy was insane, cant we just accept it and move on?)

Does that mean youre meant to love every day of school? Nope. As with everything in life, there are guaranteed to be blah days when your hair, your homework or your clothes just dont sit right. There will be days when your favourite teacher tells you off. When the person you have a crush on fails to notice you even exist. When your best friend behaves more like your worst enemy. And when even the C-grade netball team thinks youd be a dead weight and have the defending skills of a stapler.

But if you approach high school in the right way, if you go in each day with a bit of wisdom, with a few smarts up your sleeve, with the right attitude, then high school doesnt have to be completely and utterly horrendous. Arm yourself with some strategies and when a sucky day or week shows up youll know how to handle it. You may even enjoy the journey!

So, heres a list of the things Ive worked out that you need to know about not just surviving high school, but actually enjoying it. Some of these lessons I knew. Many of them I didnt. But best of all, they also apply to surviving life.

Happiness in high school, I believe, is determined by two things: having fabulous, inspiring teachers and having great friends. Now unfortunately the fabulous, inspiring teachers thing isnt something you can control. But if youre lucky enough to have a few fab teachers in high school who challenge and inspire you, who make you want to be in their classroom even on a Friday at two oclock and who can still join in a conversation on your total addiction to the Twilight series, then count yourself extremely lucky.

The other major factor that will determine the quality of your time at high school is who you hang around. Your friends. And this is the bit you can control.

Im going to cut to the chase. Life is too short to hang around with bitchy, negative people. So dont. In high school you want to surround yourself with people who get you. You know, people who get your sense of humour and think youre funny. (Well, most of the timemaybe not when youre trying to see how many Tiny Teddies you can fit in your mouth!) True friends are those who support your dreams, cheer you on and are prepared to do CPR on you when you start choking on those Tiny Teddies. They provide a soft place for you to fall and are there to comfort you (and eat cookiesncream ice-cream with you when youre blue). Real friends dont slag you off the moment your back is turned or routinely put you down or humiliate you in front of others. Real friends dont leave you out. Instead, real friends have your back. In other words, theyre fiercely loyal and protective. My friend Franny describes finding real friends as finding your tribe which I think is the perfect way to describe it. Your tribe is made up of people who you click with. People you can trust. People who see the world the way you see it. People who like the same things as you. So choose friends at school who are from your tribe and high school will be