C. E. Ellicott - When Everything Falls Apart: Two Leg Bones or a Piece of an Ear

When

Everything

Falls Apart:

Two Leg Bones

or a Piece of an Ear

The True Stories of Faith, Hope and Charity

Edited By C. E. Ellicott

Sweetwater Still

Oklahoma, USA

Visit Sweetwater Still Publishing at www.sweetwaterstill.com

When Everything Falls Apart: Two Leg Bones or a Piece of an Ear 2011 the true stories of Faith, Hope and Charity, edited by C. E. Ellicott. All rights reserved. Cover and interior design by Sweetwater Still Publishing. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the copyright holder, except brief quotations used in a review.

Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible , New International Version (NIV) Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

(NKJV) Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

"I Dont Care Where Youve Been Sleeping," copyright 1977 by Don Francisco; used with permission. All rights reserved.

Notice: Names and other identifying information in this book have been changed to protect the children.

ISBN: (e-book) 978-0-9843599-1-2

Published by Sweetwater Still Publishing

PO Box 586

Colcord, Oklahoma 74338

Faith, Hope and Charity are real women -- your sisters in Christ. For the sake of their children, names and identifying details have been changed, but their stories are true.

Your sisters have shared their struggles with you, that they might also share their triumphs. Theyre praying that this book will help you overcome the hard things in your life.

Please pray for them as well.

"Highly encouraging if you've ever felt disappointed or heartbroken -- or if you've ever wondered if God has left you."

Anonymous Suffering Sister

Check out the Study Guide in the back!

If the MESSAGE in this book IMPACTS you: spread the word, share your book, encourage your friends, family and church to study it in a small reading group or Bible study setting.

WHERE THERE'S FAITH, THERE'S HOPE... GOD'S LOVE NEVER FAILS.

"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Jesus Christ

Everything

That Can Fall

By Faith

Chapter One

They say anger builds to a boiling point and then, like an uncapped radiator, it blows, burning anyone ignorant or concerned enough to be nearby. They say a lot of things and sometimes I agree. Anger can also be like a dog puking on the rug. It stinks, leaves a stain, and someone else is left cleaning up the mess.

But I'm better acquainted with a silent moaning rage that eats you from the inside out. At first it's magic armor -- a hot rush that soothes and numbs the pain -- but use this balm one too many times and the rush cools. You're now ice cold and still numb. You see your life through a smoky haze but you can't feel it -- not even the good parts.

You remember vaguely that you once loved -- little girls love and dream big -- but you can't remember what it was like and you don't care. When you realized he didn't really love you back, and suspected he doesn't even like you, something slipped away.

Now part of you is gone.

Entry from Faith's Journal

Prayerfully written on November 21, 2006:

Oh, dear God, protect my children. They don't deserve this...

This journal will be called the dreaded black book with too much information in it. I always avoided putting too much truth in other journals for the sake of my kids. What if they read them?

But I can't help it anymore. I have to put the truth on paper. It's November 21, 2006 and my marriage is toxic. It sucks all the life out of me and I fear it's doing the same to our children. We're in a deep pit... and we've been here too many times to count.

There. I finally admitted the truth in black ink that can't be erased.

I was sitting here worrying again. Our children are due home soon and I'm worried because their father -- their adoptive father, my beloved -- is in a pathetic state again. Stinking drunk, out of his mind, again. I'm agonizing, as I've been for a while now. But suddenly I'm realizing just how many years this has been going on. I remember this same sick scene playing over and over...

The first time it got really bad our oldest daughter was nine months old. She's nine years old now.

Enough is enough. Gabe gets worse every year. He surrounds himself with danger, drug addicts, crazy people with loaded guns... and sleazy women. I've been weak and foolish. I've allowed this circus for years!

Gabe has a problem and he's manipulated and shifted the blame on me all these years. When he blamed me, I accepted it. I let my frustrated, imperfect spiritual state cloud the issues. But it's a new day.

Yes, I've been angry, mean and vicious -- even brutal and profane in my heart since 3 a.m., Saturday when Gabe stumbled home too drunk to function. I admit I'm a sinner, a mad, crazy sinner but I can finally see clearly. This is not about me! I feel freedom, at last, knowing that I don't need to change something about me, this time.

I don't believe God is asking anything of me, except to be strong and faithful and to choose what's best for our children. Forget mothering Gabe; he's an adult.

I'm so sorry. Oh, dear God, protect my children above all else. They don't deserve this. Gabe must make some serious decisions this week. He'll have to choose to honor and love God and us, or choose to love and honor his addiction and himself... without us.

My precious children, when you read this I pray that we're still an intact family. I'd sooner die than make you deal with the divorce of your parents. But it isn't my choice.

So many people are praying for us. I've never doubted your father was the one God intended for me. But God didn't intend for me to sacrifice your safety and happiness to mother a willful, grown man. I love him dearly and could live my entire life with him, but only if he's sober.

My beautiful children, I write this for clarity's sake. Please don't be deceived about me. I'm trying to be more -- for your sake -- but I'm just a person, a sinner saved by grace. Many marriages struggle; this just happens to be your parents' struggle.

The end of the story is yet to be written... I hope it has a happy ending. If it doesn't, I'm so very sorry and I pray you'll be okay.