Jen Sincero - You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

2013 by Jen Sincero

Published by Running Press,

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2013932303

E-book ISBN 978-0-7624-4831-9

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Digit on the right indicates the number of this printing

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Edited by Jennifer Kasius

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For my unfailingly sweet and supportive Dad and brother Stephen

CONTENTS

I used to think quotes like this were a bunch of crap. I also didnt understand what the hell they were talking about. I mean, not that I cared. I was too cool. What little I knew about the self-help/spiritual world I found to be unforgivably cheesy: it reeked of desperation, rah-rah churchiness and unwanted hugs from unappealing strangers. And dont even get me started on how grouchy I used to be about God.

At the same time, there was all this stuff about my life that I desperately wanted to change and, had I been able to bulldoze through my holier-than-thouism, I could have really used some help around here. I mean, overall I was doing pretty wellId published a couple of books, had lots of great friends, a close family, an apartment, a car that ran, food, teeth, clothes, clean drinking watercompared to the majority of the planet, my life was a total cream puff. But compared to what I knew I was capable of, I was, shall we say, unimpressed.

I always felt like, Come ON, this is the best I can do? Really? Im going to make just enough to pay my rent this month? Again? And Im going to spend another year dating a bunch of weirdoes so I can be in all these wobbly, noncommittal relationships and create even more drama? Really? And am I seriously going to question what my deeper purpose is and wallow in the misery of that quagmire for the millionth time?

It. Was. A. Snore.

I felt like I was going through the motions of living my lukewarm life with the occasional flare-ups of awesomeness here and there. And the most painful part was that deep down I KNEW I was a total rock star, that I had the power to give and receive and love with the best of em, that I could leap tall buildings in a single bound and could create anything I put my mind to and... Whats that? I just got a parking ticket? You have got to be kidding me, let me see that. I cant afford to pay this, its like my third one this month! Im going down there to talk to them right now ... then, doop de do, off Id go, consumed once again by low-level minutiae, only to find myself, a few weeks later, wondering where those few weeks went and how it could possibly be that I was still stuck in my rickety-ass apartment, eating dollar tacos by myself every night.

Im assuming if youre reading this that there are some areas of your life that arent looking so good either. And that you know could be looking a whole lot better. Maybe youre living with your soul mate and are joyfully sharing your gifts with the world, but are so broke that your dog is on his own if he wants to get fed. Maybe youre doing great financially and you have a deep connection to your higher purpose, but you cant remember the last time you wet your pants laughing. Or maybe you suck equally at all of the above and spend your free time crying. Or drinking. Or getting pissed off at all the meter maids who have precision timing and no sense of humor who, in your mind, are partly responsible for your personal financial crisis. Or maybe you have everything youve ever wanted but for some reason you still feel unfulfilled.

This isnt necessarily about making millions of dollars or helping solve the worlds problems or getting your own TV show, unless thats your thing. Your calling could simply be to take care of your family or to grow the perfect tulip.

This is about getting mighty clear about what makes you happy and what makes you feel the most alive, and then creating it instead of pretending you cant have it. Or that you dont deserve it. Or that youre a greedy egomaniacal fathead for wanting more than you already have. Or listening to what Dad and Aunt Mary think you should be doing.

Its about having the cojones to show up as the brightest, happiest, badassiest version of yourself, whatever that looks like to you.

The good news is that in order to do this, all you need to do is make one simple shift:

You need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life.

Youll probably have to do things you never imagined youd do because if any of your friends saw you doing it, or spending money on it, youd never live it down. Or theyd be concerned about you. Or theyd stop being friends with you because now youre all weird and different. Youll have to believe in things you cant see as well as some things that you have full-on proof are impossible. Youre gonna have to push past your fears, fail over and over again and make a habit of doing things youre not so comfy doing. Youre going to have to let go of old, limiting beliefs and cling to your decision to create the life you desire like your life depends on it.

Because guess what? Your life does depend on it.

As challenging as this may sound, its nowhere near as brutal as waking up in the middle of the night feeling like someone parked a car on your chest, crushed under the realization that your life is zooming by and you have yet to start living it in a way that has any real meaning to you.

You may have heard stories about people who had these major breakthroughs when the shit really hit the fanthey found a lump or got their electricity turned off or were moments away from having sex with strangers to buy drugs when suddenly they woke up, transformed. But you dont have wait until you hit rock bottom to start crawling out of your hole. All you have to do is make the decision. And you can make it right now.

Theres a great line from the poet Anas Nin that reads: And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. This is how it was for me, and how I think it is for most people. My journey was a process (and still is) that started with my decision to make some serious changes, regardless of what I had to do to make them. None of the things Id already tried were working: mulling it over and over with my equally broke friends and my therapist, working my ass off, going out for a beer and hoping it would take care of itself... I was at the point where I would try anything to get my act together, and Lawdy Lawd Lawd Lawd, its like the Universe was testing me to see just how serious I was.