Judi Holler - Fear Is My Homeboy: How to Slay Doubt, Boss Up, and Succeed on Your Own Terms

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Copyright 2019 Judi Holler

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Print ISBN: 978-1-62634-626-0

eBook ISBN: 978-1-62634-625-3

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First Edition

You cant be brave unless you are scared first.

So, fear, this ones for you.

Everybody is scared most of the time.

AMY POEHLER

I m so glad you picked up this book. As a bookworm myself, some of my greatest I heroes and mentors have been the authors who have had the guts to sit down and do the work, penning their own books to share their ideas with the world. These books have certainly changed my life, and I attribute reading books to most of my success because I truly believe books are the gateway to greatness!

I came up with the idea for Fear Is My Homeboy when reading one of these brave books while on my honeymoon in January 2016. The book was Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Back then, I was already speaking and writing about improv theater, fear, and personal branding as my side hustle, yet I was having trouble connecting all the dots. I was also stalling on quitting my job in destination sales and marketing so I could speak and write full-time. I wasgulpscared to death. I had so many what-ifs running through my head and felt incredibly stuck. Will I be able to pay my bills? Am I cut out for running a business? How do I run a business? Will anyone hire me? Who am I to be a keynote speaker? How does a website work? Ah, the self-doubt.

So there I was, sitting in a tropical paradise with my new hubby, when my eyes landed on page 22 of Big Magic. The chapter was titled The Fear You Need and the Fear You Dont Need. After reading the first few sentences, I got butterflies of excitement and quickly penned in the margin with a hot-pink highlighter: Fear is my homeboy! The homeboy part proudly declared fear as my friend; yet, if that was really the case, then why was I wasting so much time trying to get rid of it?

I knew deep in the core of my bones that I had figured something out. I knew I had uncovered the real secret in getting to the other side of fear, and I had to share it with the world.

When I got home, I rewrote my personal branding keynote and reframed its core message. I started focusing on the role of fear in our lack of opportunities and personal fulfillment. I came to realize that the only thing that holds us back from what we really want is fear, and this includes all of our excuses. Once I realized that excuses are one of the ways fear keeps us stuck, safe, and just the same, I took my power back and started having a different conversation with my fear.

Instead of wasting so much energy trying to get rid of my fear or outrun it, I realized it was time to take a deep breath and make space for it. For me, this means that when fear shows up, instead of letting it boss me around and call all the shots in my life, I needed to pauseto feel it, say hello, welcome it, and take a good look at itbecause most of the time when fear shows up, its there for a reason. Often its there to show you what you need to do next.

I quit my job three months later. This was the first time I officially made fear my homeboy, and Ive never looked back.

If Elizabeth Gilbert hadnt written page 22 of that book, I may not have written this book on fear. I shudder to think about that close call. Its also hard to think about how many incredible ideas are living inside people all over the worldand how so many of these people are afraid to let these ideas out. Im on a mission to stop that from happening. Im on a mission to stop fear from stealing your opportunities so you can slay doubt and succeed the way you want to succeed.

I am definitely not your guru. Im just like youI get scared and mess up. Sometimes I accidentally hurt people and get it wrong. But I accept all of these hard parts of my life, because they are a part of being human. My fear journey has given me the stories, ideas, and training to fill the pages of this book.

Because of my background as a professionally trained improviser and alumna of the Second City Training Center Conservatory in Chicago (a prolific improv comedy theater that is consistently a starting point for famous comedians and award-winning actors and directors), improv inspires all my work. Improv was also my most important fear training. I built a successful career in the hospitality and meetings industry while studying improv at night, so I know how to bridge the gap between the off-the-cuff comedy of improv and the seriousness of work. The ideas I share on fear will help you level up personally and professionally, and encourage you to make boss moves at work and in your industry. There will be lots of tips, tools, and practical takeaways that you can start using to make big shifts in your life. The only requirement is forward momentum!

I wrote this book on planes, in hotel rooms, at the library, in my office with my dog at my feetmost days in my jammies. I wrote this book from scribbles of thoughts I wrote on pages of books, from collections of ideas stored in my computer, and from all my line-filled notebooks while studying improv at the Second City Training Center Conservatory in Chicago. Most days I had no idea where to start. Most days Id find myself procrastinating instead of doing the work because I was afraid of not being good enough. Most days I just stared at the blank screen, literally frozen with self-doubt. Then I saw fear sitting there with me, wanting me to stop and self-doubt and procrastinate so I wouldnt write this book. So, I took a deep breath, thanked my fear for reminding me Im alive (feeling fear means you are still breathing!), and started writing. One word at a time, one day at a time. Forward momentum was my medicine.