Ben Arment - Dream Year: Make the Leap from a Job You Hate to a Life You Love

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

JOHN A. SHEDD

Frustration Shapes a Dream

As you enter this next year, Im counting on one thing from youthat youre frustrated. If you were to say, No, Im doing great. Everythings fine. I just want to try out this new idea, Id be worried. If you werent discontented, heartsick, or angry about something in the world, you would have no reason to go after your dream.

Without frustration, youd never even recognize your dream, let alone have the courage to pursue it. Going after a dream is hard. And frustration is the fuel that propels you through the challenges when your idealism runs out. There are going to be times when youll need that frustration. Youll need a worse time to help you get through the difficult times ahead. Frustration is the grit that motivates you to pursue your vision. It makes you unwilling to go back to the way things were before you decided to act.

When people get frustrated, most of them respond by complaining. And you cant blame them. Bad bosses, no money, workplace injustices, terrible customer service, the lack of an affordable optionweve all been there.

But we can also respond to frustration by dreaming. We can take the same agonizing circumstances and use them to create a fresh, new vision for the future. To do this, you and I must learn to see frustration as a gift.

After all, frustration shapes a dream.

There is something missing, something lacking, or something unjust happening in the world, and the only one who seems to notice it is you. But thats how its supposed to work. You notice a problem that no one else is addressing, and it eats at you until youre finally willing to do something about it.

Who knew frustration could be a good thing?

In 2010, Ben Nockels of Oklahoma City experienced a frustration that he could not shake. He learned that there are 408,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. He also learned that out of this population of abandoned kids, more than 107,000 are adoptable. In other words, their parents rights have been terminated or relinquished. In Bens words, these kids are never going home. They have no sense of place, no sense of belonging, and are not part of any family.

For the kids who are not placed in foster homes, there is only one outcometheyll remain in the system and languish until they age out at eighteen. And history shows that those who age out of the system dont fare well in society. Theyll face incarceration, addiction, joblessness, and even premature death.

Overwhelmed by this frustration, Ben joined my Dream Year coaching program to figure out a solution. He started with his home state of Oklahoma. As of January 1, 2012, there were 8,308 children who were in the custody of the state. Ben met with the leaders of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services and learned that 1,500 additional families were needed to place kids in homes. Ben believed the best place to find those families was the faith community.

So Ben launched the 111 Project, which mobilizes congregations to place foster kids in the homes of loving families. The 111 stands for one church, one family, and one purpose. Ben figured out that there are 6,100 churches in the state of Oklahoma. So if every church committed one family for one purpose, they would leave no Oklahoma child without a home. This was Bens dream.

So far, hundreds of families have joined Bens effort.

Make History

When youre frustrated, you can choose to complain about it, run from it, or ignore it. But if you decide to do something about it, youll make history. This is the gift your dream brings to the world.

What great dream is frustration birthing in you?

were both alive, they shared an unlikely friendship. Although their dance styles were completely different and their musical tastes worlds apart, they shared a strong connection out of the public eye. When a reporter asked Fred Astaire about their unusual relationship, he surprised everyone by admitting that they both danced out of anger.

Now, we have reason to believe that Michael Jackson did. His dance style was aggressive, and he often decried the loss of his childhood. But who would have guessed that the graceful and elegant Fred Astaire was motivated by anger? It was a deep-seated, well-hidden motivation, but what a gift it turned out to be.