Richard Bandler - How to Take Charge of Your Life: The User’s Guide to NLP

Joe picked up the leaflet from the kitchen table and skimmed it until something caught his attention:

Most people end up having difficulties in their lives and limit how much joy they can have because the very way they think about things and the very beliefs they have prevent them from being able to achieve the best that life has to offer.

He read the sentence again, this time slowly and more carefully. Being able to achieve the best that life has to offer Was this not what everyone wanted? He wasnt convinced, however, that the way he thought about things made that much of a difference. Joe knew that his thoughts werent always entirely positive. At the same time, he didnt believe that the way he thought about things could solve all of his problems. One thing was for sure: any positive change in his life would be very welcome right now. But just how could he make it happen?

Then his eyes fell on another attention-grabber:

Act as if you are the controlling element of your life. When you do, you will be.

While he wondered about the meaning of these words, he left the leaflet on the table and made his way up to bed. He pulled his exhausted body up the staircase and laid his head onto the soft pillow. He had been looking forward to this moment all day. And yet for all the energy that had been sapped from him running around the office and negotiating the ridiculous traffic, for all the weariness that another day had delivered, he was unable to fall asleep. Instead, he stared at the ceiling, his mind consumed with worry. Stress, said his doctor, was the cause of his sleeping difficulties. Joe didnt doubt this. As he lay on his back facing the patchy grey ceiling above his bed, his mind turned to work. He immediately winced at the thought.

Joe was a regional manager of a large firm, and he hated his job. He also disliked his boss, who just that day had dumped a massive pile of work on his desk before running out to play golf. Typical. Joe had also heard rumours about a possible corporate restructuring within the firm. He rolled over onto his side on the bed and closed his eyes.

Then there was the presentation. Joe had been asked to present in front of the Board of Directors in a couple of weeks about the challenges that the company faced. This would have been fine, except that Joe was terrified of public speaking.

Life hadnt always been like this, but happiness seemed so far in the distant past that he found it difficult to remember how it felt. He remembered at some point, a long time ago, being happier, more satisfied with his life and about what he did. Recently he couldnt seem to escape the trappings of work and money. He had given up his gym membership, put on weight and started to smoke again. A few months ago he had tried to begin exercising, but that was a particularly busy time at work with a huge project and he hadnt been getting home from the office until after 9 p.m. He was so fed up at that stage that he had always ordered takeaway pizza and put the TV on.

There was no point in taking care of his body in any case. His girlfriend, Lisa, had left him a month earlier, for who else but a personal trainer a big burly guy who could lift her in one arm. The anger that he had felt initially was now melting into sadness and confusion. He missed Lisa. His self-esteem was crushed, and he was full of regrets at having spent too much time in the office.