Alla Renee Bozarth - A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving
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A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving
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For those of us working through the heartbreak of grief, author Bozarth offers wise and comforting advice.
Alla Renee Bozarth: author's other books
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1990 by Alla Rene Bozarth, Ph.D. All rights reserved. First published by Hazelden Foundation 1994 (originally published by CompCare Publishers 1990). Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
ISBN: 1-56838-037-2
Page v
Acknowledgments
Author's poems first published in other books
From Sparrow Songs, Rene Bozarth and Alla Bozarth-Campbell, St. Paul's Press and Wisdom House Press, 1982
"Parting" "Dance for Me When I Die" "Love Mantra for Letting Go''
From Life Is Goodbye, Life Is Hello, Grieving Well through All Kinds of Loss, Alla Renee Bozarth, Hazelden
"Good-bye Means God Be with You" "Scars" "Daughter-rite" "Continue Becoming the Person You Want to Be'' "Two Houses" "Life after Death" "Reincarnation" "Journey" "Loving the Body" "After Dismembering" "Awakening"
Page vi
Journey
One way or another more naked when we die than at birth. Emptied.
Unharnessed. Unencumbered. Untangled. Allowed
for the journey only as much as will fit into the hand of God.
Page 1
A Journey through Grief
I speak to you today, my friend, as a companion on a journey. I speak from my own experience as one who has gone on a grief journey several times. I speak to you on the basis of what I have learned personally, in my soul, about letting go.
I bear down hard on all life's losses. Each one is unique, it's true. As no love is the same, no loss is.
I have to let each one out of me separately, give each loss the scream that belongs to its own love's ecstacy.
If I succeed, one by one, in letting go, in remembering myself, I may again know that dreamy sweetness, the smells of love, what life is, the feeling of emergence from bliss.
Page 2
To surrender to one's own grief and to become actively engaged in it require tremendous courage. This courage is vastly different from putting up a good front, showing a cheerful face to our friends when we're really hurting.
Real courage is...owning up to the fact that we face a terrifying task...admitting that we are appropriately frightened...identifying sources of strength and help, both outside and within ourselves...and then going ahead and doing what needs to be done.
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Grief is a passion, something that happens to us, something to endure. We can be stricken with it, we can be victims of it, we can be stuck in it. Or, we can meet it, get through it, and become quiet victors through the honest and courageous process of grieving.
Page 3
And how might I describe the process and its many feelings or absence of feeling?
I feel empty! I feel frozen. I feel small, smaller and smaller! I feel buried alive, put to sleep. I feel dead. I feel numb. I feel nothing.
Slowly, as the natural anesthesia of the heart wears off, my metaphors may change.
I feel myself underwater, unable to move or breathe or see light.
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