Judith Sachs - Sensual Rejuvenation

Judith Sachs
Foreword by Sheryl Kingsberg, Ph.D.

To the Big Sweetie

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author gratefully acknowledges the invaluable guidance of Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. Sandra Leiblum, for sharing anecdotes about their work with midlife women and men and discussing new and future methods of sexuality research and training; Jeannine Vannais and Pat Rudolf, herbalists, and Dr. Phillip Bonnet, homeopathic physician, for their careful explanation of alternative therapies for sexual enhancement and for treating problems and dysfunction; and to Serena and Mr. Marion, massage therapists at the New Age Health Spa, for inspiration and revelation about the laying on of hands.

FOREWORD

Sheryl Kingsberg, Ph.D.

When I first began to specialize as a psychologist in reproductive biology almost a decade ago, the Women's Health Initiative from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) did not even exist. There was virtually no funding available to investigate the intricate nature of menopause, which was just coming into its own as a vital field of study. Postmenopausal sexuality, however, was still considered an oxymoron.

Over the years, as more attention was given to women's health issues, the topics of hot flashes and estrogen replacement became commonplace at cocktail parties, replacing the previously hushed discussions (if any) between mothers and daughters. Today menopause and midlife are considered developmental milestones to be appreciated rather than dreaded. And at last, sexuality has been reclaimed by the over-40 crowd.

It has been clearly established that men and women remain sexually active well into their senior years, and the changes of aging do not necessarily diminish sexual functioning or fulfillment. I began to suspect this when my own grandmother (now 103) fell in love for the second time at age 92. Sex and intimate relationships can grow stronger throughout the life span. One's sexual life does not end with the cessation of reproductive function.

Midlife is the time when we can develop a greater comfort and acceptance of our sexual identity and can enjoy the freedom to explore new sexual activities and ways to experience pleasure.

The vitality, beauty, and sensuality of our midlife role modelsSigourney Weaver, Coki Roberts, and Harrison Ford, to name just threemake this time of life a lot more appealing for the rest of us.

But some people, who may be stuck in some of the old stereotypes about aging and sex, may need to be nudged in the right direction. That direction can provide a positive focus on age-related changes in health, social life, family roles, occupation, and, ultimately, self-perception. Quality of life is determined by awareness of and sensitivity to our own experiences. This book, Sensual Rejuvenation: Maintaining Sexual Vigor Through Midlife and Beyond, can provide women and men with a new and fulfilling look at midlife sexuality.

Books about midlife, menopause, and sexuality tend to fall into two categories: those that are dry as dust and geared to healthcare providers and those that are the reading equivalent of Musakeasy reading without any content. Sensual Rejuvenation by Judith Sachs, a sex educator and author of many other books on preventive healthcare, is neither of those two: It is a smooth blend of good style and up-to-the-minute information in the field. This book is both entertaining and filled with enough detail to satisfy the most demanding readers on matters sexual.

Ms. Sachs discusses menopausal transition and management alternatives, including hormone replacement. In addition, she delves into the intricate physical, psychological, and sexual changes that women go through that have at last started to receive public attention and research dollars. She also gives full coverage to men's sexuality. Although a great deal of scientific work preceded the media frenzy over Viagra, few popular books have talked about the fact that men's sexuality and sexual functioning changes with age. It is a pleasure, therefore, to see both genders given equal play in this excellent book.

Sensual Rejuvenation goes beyond an age-specific treatment of sexuality. Although most of the problems discussed occur around middle age, Ms. Sachs thoroughly reviews the range of situations that all women and men may experience, from the purely psychological to those requiring surgical interventions. While the book primarily addresses heterosexual issues, Ms. Sachs also discusses lesbian and gay sexuality at this time of life.

This book also includes an extremely knowledgeable discussion of alternative therapies to enhance sexuality, such as vitamins, minerals, herbs, aromatherapy, and acupressure. For anyone who has ever wondered whether specific techniques and treatments exist that can be implemented to boost sexual life without a physician's assistance, this book provides a detailed, organized plan. For more serious sexual problems, Ms. Sachs makes the reader aware of the various types of short-term therapies and medical help available.

Midlife may afford people the best opportunities to reach their sexual peakfor this reason, it is vital that men and women learn all they can about their changing bodies and sexual interests and behaviors. This book goes a long way to help them do just that.

Sheryl Kingsberg, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor Department of Reproductive Biology and Psychiatry
Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine Cleveland, OH

CHAPTER ONE

The Joys of Midlife Sex

When our parents were growing up, they were told that sex was for procreation and perhapsoccasionallyfor recreation. When the baby boomers' generation came along, those ideas exploded. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll were the interlocking themes of the 1960s and 70sand many considered comfortable, casual sex the best of the three.

Nostalgia for those wild and crazy times may lead to romanticizing the type of sex life we had when we were in our 20s and 30s, before the two jobs got too overwhelming and the kids came along and we were too exhausted to kiss, let alone make love. If you're now in your 40s, 50s, and 60s, you may think that the time for grand passion and hot eroticism is over. This just isn't so.

The stereotype of a midlife adult, of course, is someone with an expanding waistline and a shrinking sex life. We see the picture over and over on TV and in the movies the harried businessman or woman who works more and plays less and is bored with a spouse of 20 or 30 years. It's hard enough to stay up for Leno, let alone for sex.

If you perpetuate this myth, you are doing yourself and your entire generation a big disservice. In truth, sex at midlife can be better than it's ever been. If you can forget the stereotype, you can open yourself to the possibility that your sexuality can amplify your whole lifenot just the part spent in the bedroom. It can give you better health, a brighter outlook, and a positive attitude about the future. This book, Sensual Rejuvenation, will give you detailed help and advice. We outline an easy-to-follow program to revamp your sex life using up-to-the-minute research from psychologists, sexologists, and physicians; tapping into techniques culled from conventional sex therapy as well as alternative and complementary medicine. People in midlife and beyond will find that a revitalized sexuality really can make a difference in their lives.

How to Use This Book

Learning about your sexuality can be a lot of funbut more than that, it can promote good health, improve well-being, and give you lots more energy to get through the day. Rather than relying on just a set of techniques or exercises, we have taken information from all available sourcesmedical, psychological, and holistic. Because your sexuality affects you physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, it's vital that you know as much about guided visualization as you do about estrogen and testosterone replacement; as much about aphrodisiac herbs such as yohimbe and damiana as you do about Viagra and hormone replacement therapy. We'll give you suggestions for homeopathic remedies and acupressure points in order to enhance your sex life and show you how to use erotic bedtime stories and sexy phone calls to spice up your relationship. In addition, we have included practical exercises and self-exams to keep you sexually healthy throughout midlife and beyond.