Andrea S Kramer - It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace: Women’s Conflict at Work and the Bias that Built It

This edition first published in 2019 by Nicholas Brealey Publishing

An imprint of John Murray Press

A Hachette company

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Copyright Andrea S. Kramer, Alton B. Harris 2019

The right of Andrea S. Kramer and Alton B. Harris to be identified as the Authors of the Work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019932111

US eBook ISBN 978-1-4736-9729-4

UK eBook ISBN 978-1-4736-9728-7

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Andie and Al touch on a topic that is a raw nerve to so many. With specific focus on the biases women encounter with each other in the workplace, Andie and Al have dissected the issue and its effects, providing an actionable roadmap for change. This book is a must for any executive looking to make real change and achieve gender equity in their organization.

Julie M. Howard, CEO Navigant

After having way too many women tell me that their most difficult workplace negotiations are with other women, Im now able to offer them new guidanceIts Not You, Its The Workplace. This well-researched book debunks the dangerous yet commonly held myth that day-to-day negotiations at work between women are destined to be played as a zero-sum game. Instead, Kramer and Harris offer women practical tips about how to negotiate good business decisions and manage inevitable workplace conflicts by adopting a mutual gains mindset. The resulta win-win for women and for their organizations.

Carol Frohlinger, President of Negotiating Women, Inc. and co-author of Her Place at the Table: A Womans Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success

Andie and Al call bullsh*t on the negative narrative weve been fed about womens same-gendered conflict in the workplace. After clearing the deck by systematically demonstrating that the evolutionary, socialization and internalized misogynistic reasons for this damaging narrative are false, Al and Andie get to work to show us all how we can make it better. A must read for every leader, every individual contributor, every woman, and every man in the workplace.

Lee Caraher, CEO Double Forte and author of The Boomerang Principle and Millennials & Management

It is hard enough for women to advance in their careers without other women coming into conflict with them. Finally we have a clear explanation of why these conflicts occur and sensible, practical advice for overcoming them. This is an important and truly original book. It ought to be read by every woman pursuing a career, thinking about restarting a career, or a student getting ready to start her careerand, of course, by the leaders of their organizations. Andie and Al have written another terrific and groundbreaking book.

Laurel G. Bellows, Managing Principal, The Bellows Law Group, P.C. and past president, American Bar Association

In their usual candid and pragmatic way, Andie and Al build awareness for the causes of woman-to-woman conflict, re-frame the perspective of both men and women, and most importantly, offer specific action plans to create a critical mass of women senior leaders to dismantle the male stereotypes of our workplaces. The time for Its Not You, Its the Workplace is right now!

Dr. Pat Buhler, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, Professor at Goldey-Beacom College

Having managed businesses in the US and Europe I have had ample opportunity to observe the workplace relations between women on two continents. Kramer and Harriss book sheds fascinating new light on a phenomenon that has long puzzled me. I had never considered the impact of male dominated workplaces on womens relations with other women. I encourage any person interested in or involved with the management of ambitious women to read this first-rate book.

Marshall I. Wais, Jr., Chairman, Board of Governors, American Hospital of Paris

Andie and Als emphasis on the value and power of workplace sisterhoods is spot on. Womens support for and advocacy of other women is contagious. As the co-founder of a successful network for women in intellectual property, Ive seen sisterhood in action. This book is filled with insightful advice as to how to build and maintain workplace sisterhoods.

Molly Keelan, Co-founder, Chicago Women in Intellectual Property ChiWIP

Its Not You, Its the Workplace is full of profound insights into the reasons women around the world so often have difficulties working with other women. As a Chinese woman, Andie and Als discussion of Asian women being stereotyped as the model minority was powerful. As a woman who spends half of her time out of the United States, I believe this book will be of great value to working women everywhere.

Yang Yang, Associate Professor, China University of Political Science and Law

This very thought-provoking and well-researched book is a must-read for any executive who truly strives to create a culture of meritocracy.

Stephen P. Hills, Former President, The Washington Post

As one of the few female drivers racing in NASCAR, I believe it is important for women to support one another. Kramer and Harris persuasively demonstrate how women, and groups at large, can be even more effective when women work together to combat negative stereotypes and assumptions about women. This is an important book for everyone who wants to see equal representation of men and women in any field.

Julia Landauer, NASCAR Racer, Entrepreneur, Speaker

Andie and Als insistence on the value of womens mutual support, advocacy, and sisterhood rang true to me. Too often we are told that women are naturally antagonistic to other women. Nonsense. This book is filled with great insights and practical tips for assuring womens workplace relationships with other women are positive and satisfying. This is a terrific book!

Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky

The belief that women inherently do not work well together is one of our most unhelpful workplace narratives. Andie and Al tackle it head-on and set the record straight with pragmatism and optimism. This book is perfect not only for women looking to achieve successful and fulfilling careers, but also for the men and organizations that benefit equally when the most talented leaders rise to the top.

Heather Cabot, Co-Author, Geek Girl Rising: Inside the Sisterhood Shaking Up Tech

As CEO of a business run almost entirely by women, creating products for women, this book provides a fascinating insight into the systemic challenges we face as a result of decades of gendered workplaces. Andie and Al go beyond explaining how this impacts womens relationships with each other and offers hugely valuable advice for women looking to smash stereotypes and change the way the world works.