John G. Miller - QBQ!: the question behind the question, what to really ask yourself to eliminate blame, complaining and procrastination

QBQ!

THE QUESTION BEHIND THE QUESTION

QBQ!

THE QUESTION BEHIND THE QUESTION

Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life

JOHN G. MILLER

G. P. Putnams Sons New York

G. P. Putnams Sons

Publishers Since 1838

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Originally published by Denver Press, MMI

Copyright 2001, 2012 by John G. Miller

QBQ!, QBQ, and The Question Behind the Question

are registered trademarks of QBQ, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights.

Purchase only authorized editions. Published simultaneously in Canada

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Miller, John G., date.

QBQ! : the question behind the question: practicing personal accountability at work and in life / John G. Miller.

p. cm.

Originally published: Denver, CO : Denver Press, 2001.

Practicing personal accountability at work and in life.

ISBN: 978-1-101-20301-9

1. Choice (Psychology). 2. Decision making. 3. Problem solving.
4. Responsibility. I. Title: Question behind the question. II. Title.

BF611.M55 2004 2004044733

153.83dc22

Printed in the United States of America

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Book design by Amy Thornton

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

ALWAYS LEARNING

PEARSON

Acknowledgments

Many thanks to:

David Levin, my friend, coach, and writing partner. Without his vision, this book would never have happened

Deb Hvass, a skillful professional writer

Jon Valk, the magic behind the jacket design

Amy Thornton, our layout expert

Maureen Garcia, an excellent illustrator ()

Special thanks to my most important team the one at home in Denver:

The kids: Kristin, Tara, Michael, Molly, Charlene, Jazzy, and Tasha, for putting up with Dad and his hectic schedule during this project

My wife, Karen, for gently encouraging me to do this rewrite of my first book, Personal Accountability, and most of all for being my best friend

I saw the angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free.

Michelangelo

Authors Note

T he book you hold in your hands is not the original version of QBQ! The Question Behind the Question.

Its better.

The original was created a decade ago when my friend and writing partner, David Levin, and I downsized my first book, Personal Accountability, from its 299 pages to the more readable QBQ!and thats when the fun began.

Much to our delight, the market responded enthusiasticallyand were honored that more than one million books (including Flipping the Switch and Outstanding!) have landed in readers hands. Meanwhile, after countless keynotes and training sessions, we are still thrilled to hear how QBQ! makes a difference in peoples lives. Its truly a blessing to receive comments like QBQ! has changed my life! and I wish Id found QBQ! years ago!

Its been gratifying, too, to see how consistent QBQ! has been in its impact through the years. Many books are launched with great fanfare but fade from the market, soon to be forgotten. Yet QBQ! has shown itself to be as relevant to people and organizations today as it ever was.

Of course, none of this success meant QBQ! couldnt be improved. So after years of feedback from readers and clients, we identified a few areas in the book where the text could be clarified and sharpened. We also added FAQs at the end of the book to answer readers most commonly asked questions.

As you begin your journey through QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, please know were excited that you are joining us. Weve made many friends around the world and now consider you to be one as well. Thank you for believing in our message of personal accountability becausein the endthats what QBQ! is all about.

John G. Miller

Denver, Colorado USA

www.QBQ.com

Whatever Happened To

F rom a billboard towering over the Houston freeway loomed this question:

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

I dont know who put it up there, but it sure jumped out at me. For one thing, it seemed so clearly true. What has happened to personal responsibility? Why does it seem the only thing people know how to do anymore is point the finger elsewhere, blaming something or someone else for their problems, their feelings, their actions? Some examples:

I was looking for some coffee in a gas station convenience store, but the carafe was empty, so I said to the person behind the counter, Pardon me, theres no coffee in the pot. He pointed at a coworker not fifteen feet away and said, Coffee is her department!

Department? In a roadside gas station the size of my living room?

Another: On a cross-country flight, the flight attendant got on the intercom and said, Sorry, everyone, but the movie we promised you will not be shown today. Catering put the wrong one on board.

And this: The carryout pizza place had apparently lost our order, so I was pacing back and forth waiting for our pizzas while my hungry family waited in the car. Suddenly, out of the blue, the young man behind the counter said, Hey, dont blame me, my shift just started!

In one form or another, we often hear, Its not my fault, Its not my job, or Its not my problem. The billboard jumped out at me partly because I agreed with it so much. But the other thing that struck me was that someone would feel strongly enough about personal responsibility to put it up on a billboard in the first place.

I felt strongly about it, too, and thats why I wrote this book.

Who is this book for? Anyone whos ever heard or asked questions like these: