The Secrets of Great Sex
What Women Want
Your guide to incredible, exhilarating, sensational sex
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
Avon, Massachusetts
Contents
Introduction
The Secrets of Great Sex books are concise guides, focusing on only the essential information you need. Whether youre looking for a new sex position to try, need advice about achieving real intimacy, or want to know how to please your partner, theres a Secrets of Great Sex book for you!
As George Michael once sang, Sex is natural, sex is fun. While both statements may be true, it may not always feel that way. Yes, sex is a natural, biological process as old as mankind, but for many people especially those who are self-conscious in the bedroom sex (good sex, at least) may not seem to come naturally. And if you are worried, anxious, self-conscious, or otherwise distracted, sex probably wont be much fun, either.
The good news is, great sex isnt an impossible feat. In fact, it may be much more attainable than you may think. It may take a little bit of effort and perhaps a little practice (which will be fun, I promise!) but before you know it, your sex life will be better than you ever dreamed possible.
The truth is, you probably already have the basic ingredients for a terrific sexual experience: desire, passion, primal urges, and a willing partner. Most likely, you are letting yourself get way too hung up on technique (or your perceived lack thereof) and how you insert Tab A into Slot B. Fortunately, thats stuff you can easily learn, if you have the motivation and dedication. And, since youve made the effort to pick up this book, Im assuming you are indeed eager to learn. Thats half the battle.
Exploring and learning about our sexual nature comes easily to some people and seems challenging to many others. We arent taught much about sex unless we were lucky enough to have parents who werent afraid to talk about it. Young people learn about sex from their peers or from experimentation. The older a person gets before he has experienced some kind of sexual encounter, the more ill-equipped that person will feel upon actually entering a sexual relationship.
When we feel well informed, practiced, and excited about sex, it becomes an awesome experience. We are born with all the right equipment for sex. What we need is a sort of an owners manual a guide to help us learn, give us ideas with which to experiment, and supply the guidelines to let us know that we are on the right track.
Every couple and every sexual encounter a couple has is unique. It may not feel that way to you right now, but, as you begin to learn more about your sexual nature, you will begin to observe the differences each time you make love. By doing this you will have a basis from which to expand even further. Becoming conscious but not self-conscious while having sex is the key to having each separate experience feel new, exciting, and creative.
Each one of us is responsible for our own sexual happiness. It isnt our lovers responsibility, though it is wonderful if we feel partnered with someone who wants to have sexual happiness, too. The Secrets of Great Sex series is designed with the goal of giving you every tool necessary to have a complete, satisfying, expansive sexual and sensual experience.
These guides will inform you for many years to come and provide the insight and knowledge you need for a future of great sex. A long life, a healthy life, a happy life, and a great sex life all go together!
If youd like to learn more about women and sex, check out The Everything Great Sex Book, 2nd Edition , available in print (978-1-4405-0148-7) and eBook (978-1-4405-0149-4) formats.
A Womans Body
The female sexual anatomy has been likened to a flower. Her parts are delicate, sturdy, exotic, soft, intriguing, and colorful all at the same time. A womans sex organs must be strong and resilient enough to bear children. Yet they are also exquisitely sensitive during the act of lovemaking. A womens private anatomical area is beautiful and unique, functional and deliberately designed. But, most importantly for lovemaking, it is filled with sensitive parts capable of feeling overwhelming ecstasy.
Woman: A Unique Being
Female sexuality is a complicated thing. The woman is the only animal who is able to conceive during a portion of every month, all year round. When the issue of sexual intercourse comes up, most heterosexual women under the age of fifty must also consider the issue of possible pregnancy. Sex is not simply an act of sharing intimacy or pleasure, since it also carries the possibility of pregnancy.
A womans primary sexual response mechanism is her genitals, but she has many secondary and tertiary sexual parts. In fact, every inch of her body can be very responsive to touch especially her breasts, nipples, buttocks, hips, neck, and face.
During heightened arousal, a womans chest, vulva, and face will often change color. The sexual flush is due to increased blood flow in these areas. Its easiest to see the flushing in these spots because the skin is particularly sensitive and somewhat thinner. When pink skin turns to deep red, this can be seen as a sign of sexual readiness.
Unlike men, womens sexual parts are diminutive and somewhat hidden, especially before sexual stimulation. Theyre not easily found and investigated. Women are generally taught not to touch or explore themselves; often, they arent familiar with even the most basic information about their own bodies. Statistically, the more a woman knows her own parts and explores her sexual response, the more orgasmic she will be.
Outer Genital Area
Known as the vulva, the exterior genitals are made up of the pubis, mons veneris, the labia, and the vestibule.
The pubis is the triangle of hair that covers the genitals. The skin of the pubis is quite sensitive and the multiple hair follicles are receptive to sensual touch. Gentle stroking, rubbing, and even light pulling have a very erotic feel when combined with sexual stimulation of the vulva and clitoris.
The outer area of the female genitals.
Some women and their partners like to shave the pubis area, finding this virgin look to be erotic. Keep in mind, though, that if you decide to try shaving, you may be missing the experience of the erotic feel that the hair follicles add to the sexual experience. The ancient Chinese considered thick, abundant pubic hair to be a sign of sensuality and passion.
Fact
The vulva (exterior parts) is the area of the female genitals that is exposed, or on the outside of her body. The vagina (inner parts) is the area inside her body. A womans reproductive parts are buried even farther inside the body, beyond the vagina.
Underneath the pubis is the pubic bone, which covers the interior genitals and protects them from exterior injury. It helps support the front area of the vagina and offers the pivot point for the man to rub against during sexual intercourse. Covering the bone is the fatty tissue known as the mons veneris , or the mound of Venus . The tissue provides a cushion for the pubic bone.
The Labia
The labia majora and labia minora are the tissues that form the lips of the vulva. The labia majora are the larger lips that have hair on the outer side and are smooth and hairless on the inner side. These lips protect the delicate tissue of the inner lips and the rest of the vulva.