Cooper Craig - Your new prime: 30 days to better sex, eternal strength, and a kick-ass life after 40

To Maria, my partner in life and business for thirty-five years.
And to Montana and Lauren, who are all the reasons I need to stay healthy.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

CALVIN COOLIDGE

For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a persons life at a given moment.
VIKTOR E. FRANKL, MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING

What is the meaning of your life right now?

This may seem like an odd question. But as men in our middle years, we all wrestle with it. Who are we? What is this phase of our lives all about? And what kind of life do we want going forward?

Back in our twenties, thirties, and early forties, lifes pursuits seemed a lot clearer. A sense of identity, belonging, and achievement. Some headway toward our dreams: A successful career, a loving partner, financial freedom, a nice house, great kids. Adventure. Fulfillment. Travel. But for a lot of men, the life map we created at an early age got a lot fuzzier as we approached forty. If anyone had asked us back then how we envisioned our post-forty lives, we probably would have shrugged and responded, Ill be rich and retired, or Ill have it all figured out by then, or Ill have a Nobel Prize, an Academy Award, a Pulitzer, and my face on the cover of Fortune. Or maybe we didnt even think wed make it past forty.

Now that were here, though, the view is a little different. The checklist is out, and were tallying up the wins and losses: Are we as successful as wed hoped? Do our partners love us unquestionably? Have our children turned out the way we envisioned? Are we kings of the castle, masters of our domain? Are we performing at the level we want, in all the areas that matterphysical, sexual, and mental?

I dont know a single guyno matter how successfulwho has let himself off the hook in this compulsory half-century life inventory.

For some, the gulf between their childhood dreams and their current reality seems so huge that they give up. They decide that this is it for them, and they spiral into regret and resignation. Others spin off in different directions. They suddenly start dressing like theyre teenagers again. They take stupid chances with their careers, finances, and personal lives. They lose themselves in addictions to everything from booze to porn.

Perhaps worst of all, the middle years are also the time when our health is at risk. Doctors tell us that from here on out, we can expect our waistlines to grow, our muscles to shrink, our testosterone levels to plummet. A few short years ago we were invulnerable; now were overwhelmed by pharmaceutical companies looking to take advantage of our flagging egos, reduced sex drive, loss of hair, and worries about our manhood. Pick your middle-aged neurosis and theres a pill for it.

All things considered, this whole middle-aged trip can seem pretty bleak.

Ive come to believe, however, that the midlife crisis is not a crisis in the traditional sense of the word but rather a massive opportunity to claim or reclaim a sense of meaning in our lives. To grab hold of something resonant, significant, and substantial. When I see fellow forty-year-olds spinning out, I know its really them sayingscreamingIm still alive!

And thats actually a good thing. Its one of the major themes of Your New Prime: we are still alive. And the good stuff is just beginning.

We have to learn to embrace this phase in our lives not as a crisis but as an opportunity to thrive and live with vigor. At forty, were probably less worried about money than we used to be: Men over forty have the greatest spending power of any demographic, accounting for over 40 percent of total consumer spending in the United States. We start more businesses now than we have in any previous time in history. Eighty percent of all money in savings accounts belongs to us. As a group, we New Primers have it pretty good!

More important than money, though, is the priceless gift of self-knowledge. We may not have all the strength or speed we had when we were younger, but by now we know ourselvesour strengths, weaknesses, hopes, and fearsfar better than we did back in our twenties and thirties (when we acted like we knew everything). We know that focus and commitment are our friends, particularly when we want to make changes in our lives. We know that this whole death thing, whenever it comes knocking, isnt something well be able to talk, or buy, or cajole our way out of. Its coming. Maybe not now, maybe not in ten years, or twenty or thirty. But its on the way, and if we dont squeeze every bit of passion, adventure, and joy out of these years that we can, we risk shuffling off this mortal coil with a raging case of the shoulda-coulda-wouldas.

This arsenal of hard-won self-knowledge, wisdom, life experience, and savings means that our middle years have the potential to be our best years yetif we are prepared to commit to a better life.

That dedication begins and ends with making an ironclad commitment to great health. Taking immaculate care of ourselvesinside and out, from the heart, muscles, and plumbing to the brain, balls, and emotionshasnt always been our strong suit. But now that were coming up on halftime in this shooting match, weve got to make it a priorityespecially if we want to live a full and vigorous life as we move forward.

Were in the drivers seat now more than ever with respect to our health. Though a few of the health problems we encounter as we age can strike unpredictably, the vast majority are what the fitness revolutionary Frank Forencich calls diseases of affluence: Heart disease. Diabetes. Obesity. Depression. Erectile dysfunction. Low testosterone. Loss of memory and cognition. Loss of muscle mass and bone density. Cancer of the prostate and colon. Joint pain. Inflammation-related disorders. These are real problems, to be sure, but make no mistake: we bring them on ourselves through our sedentary, overfed lifestylesparticularly as we age.

The silver lining in this unbelievable irony is that we can do something about it. We have the power to banish or avoid nearly every health problem that regularly afflicts us. Getting everything tuned up, trimmed down, and running smoothly is the key to making the middle years your best yet. Even if youve never exercised, its still in your power to turn things around: a 2009 study published in the British Medical Journal found that men who took up exercise in later life had health outcomes that nearly equaled those of men who had exercised consistently since their youth.

Vibrant health is the deciding factor in how this next chapter of your life goes. It maximizes your chances of living expansively, adventurously, and passionately for many more years to come. With it, youll stay mentally and physically sharp enough to compete athletically and professionally in whatever arena you choose. Your confidence will soar, as will your sexual health and masculinity. Youll be willing to take the kinds of risks that will get you to the next level in your career and keep your marriage and family life thrivingall with the support of your newfound health and energy. Youll probably save money, too. After all, guys who take care of themselves spend way less on health care than guys who dont.