Dupre - Tricks of the trade: advice on sex, love and lust from the column by americas most famous former escort

Tricks of the Trade

Advice on Sex, Love and Lust from the Column by Americas Most Famous Former Escort

A SHLEY D UPR

Contents

Pick Ups, Hookups and First Dates

Dating and Relationships

In the Bedroom (and Sex in Other Places)

Fetishes and Fantasies

Reviving and Repairing Relationships

Human Anatomy, Hygiene and Body Issues

Cheaters and Other Liars

I Love/Hate My Ex!

Family Drama, Bridezilla Friends and More

W HEN A SHLEY D UPR walked into a hotel room to meet George Fox on the day before Valentines Day in 2008, she was just another pretty young woman using the worlds oldest profession to finance the high life and pursue the bright lights in New York City. She partied with hedge fund millionaires in the Hamptons and danced on nightclub banquettes in her YSLs while she dreamed of a singing career.

The booker at Emperors Club VIP had told her that George could be difficult, but Ashley responded matter-of-factly: Im here for a purpose. I know what my purpose is. I am not a... moron, you know what I mean.

But that afternoon at the Mayflower Hotel would change her lifeand American politicsforever. After the encounter, she reportedly said: Oh my God, do you know who this guy is? A month later, the world would know it was Eliot Spitzer, the hard-charging governor of New York who had taken office a year earlier after a landslide victory.

In the jaw-dropping scandal that ensued, it was Ashley who held her head high and refused to weep for the cameras or indulge in self-pity or excuses. On the contrary, she was blunt, unapologetic and fantastically sassy. The day the story broke, she wrote on her MySpace page: Yeah, I did it.

Ashleys straight talk, knowing wisdom and undeniable charm led the New York Post to offer her an advice column on sex and relationships the following year.

Ask Ashley ran from December 2009 until May 2012, with the irrepressible Ashley dispatching weekly doses of advice on everything from sex toys, threesomes and rubber fetishes to reviving sexless relationships and rekindling lost romance. She was asked what to do if you think your daughter is sleeping with the entire football team, and whats the best toothbrush for bad breath.

She told people to be adventurous and to enjoy life, to feel their emotions deeply, to be honest with themselves and their lovers. She was talking about kinky sex when America thought 50 Shades of Grey was a boring paint palette at Benjamin Moore.

This book is a collection of her best advice columnsfunny, poignant, heartfelt, helpful and more than a little sexy.

Ashley lives her life the way she wants, and never apologizes. One of her famous tattoos reads: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger. At every stage of her life, she has gotten strongerand she expects the same of her readers.

The Editors

Pick Ups, Hookups and First Dates

Im considering going on a date with this guy, but heswait for itvegan. Am I a total bitch for thinking vegan guys are lame?Anonymous

Hmm. I dont think I could trust a man who doesnt eat red meat! I mean, for men, isnt it their animalistic nature to crave red meat? I dont know. I wouldnt be able to do it, either. Especially not if youre a carnivore yourself.

Look, one of my best friends is vegan, and I give her a lot of credit because its clean living. But Im too much of a foodie to give up certain things. I mean, what about spaghetti and meatballs with sweet Italian sausage? There is no vegan substitute! I dont care what anyone says, it will never taste the same!

My boyfriend and I took his kids to a vegan restaurant on Saturday. We thought we were setting a good example by teaching them clean eating habits. Vomit in my mouth. It was horrible. I got the vegan cheesesteak and let me just tell you, that is not what a cheesesteak should ever, ever taste like. And those little girls, they gave it a chance and were troopers, but it was definitely put on the never again list. No disrespect to vegans, but its just not for me.

But back to you: Ask yourself whether you can live like this for the rest of your life. Better yet, ask him if he could date a non-vegan. That might be your answer right there!

Despite my hesitance, I say give one date a shot. Tell him to take you to the best vegan restaurantand let him order. Either way, itll be an experience. He might win you over with his charming personality and good looksdespite the tofurky.

Ive heard that going to a movie is a bad first-date idea because you cant talk to each other. When does it become acceptable? Is the second date OK? And what are some more out-of-the-box first-date ideas?Anonymous

First dates are always awkward because you dont really know each other yet. So while some people say movies are antisocial, I actually disagree. In fact, I think they can be a great ice breaker. Sure, youll likely sit there in silence for 90 minutes, but itll give you something to talk about over dinner and therefore make segueing into talking about yourself a little less awkward. Not to mention that if youre attracted to each other, the physical chemistry will only grow as you sit side by side in a dark theater. And if youre not attracted to him, well, at least youre getting to see a movie out of it!

The point of a first date is to determine whether youre compatible. So whatever you plan, it should both represent who you are, and what youre looking for in a partner.

If you like desserts, go to your favorite ice cream shop. If you both love pizza, go to a great pizza place and split a few different personal pies. Are you both artists? Take a drawing class and attempt to draw each other! Itll give you a true sense of how someone sees you. And if you guys really did end up building your life together, how cool would it be to have that as a reminder of your first date?

So consider your common interests, and suggest a plan that reflects them. Itll show that you have a vested interest in getting to know him better.

Weve all heard women in chick flicks say that on a first date, youve got to order salad because its feminine, dainty, etc. But what should a guy order? I dont want to come across as girly with a salad, but I guess wings might be pushing it on the macho acceptability scale?Rick, 34

First of all, you need to be aware of the possibility that the date could go so well it leads to something else afterwards, if you know what I mean. There are certain foods, like wings, that wreak havoc on your digestive system and make things like hooking up a little risky. Look, when youre on a date, whether its your first date or your wife, youve got to make sure your body is ready to go. You cant be too full. You cant be too smelly, in either holeyour pucker or your tail end. You cant feel bloated or overtired from being too full. Save risky meals for when youre having your buddies over to watch a game or the days you and your partner mutually agree to be gluttonous fat pigs together. When youre out on a date and hooking up is a goal, you must eat accordingly.

Heres what you have to do: Keep most date meals light and even a little bland. This isnt just for the first few dates; it really has to be for any date where you plan on hooking up afterwards. Try sushi or a nice piece of simply cooked fish or any chicken dish that doesnt have a ton of seasoning. Stay away from anything deep-fried. Meats, pastas and anything with a lot of garlic and onion are all also deal-breakers, unless you dont mind burping and farting on the girl youre interested in. Well, then, by all means: Indulge!