Himes - The Women in Pants: Sidesaddles No More

The Women in Pants

By

Stan Himes

Copyright 2017 Stan Himes.

All rights reserved.

Table of Contents

My name is Laurie Michaels. Youll meet me later as I dont appear in the story early on, even though I tell it (and, just to prepare you, often interrupt it). I was an eyewitness to and participant in most of the events in this book. What I didnt witness, I learned through interviews, figured out from some facts, or made my best guess. The point Im trying to make is that Ive done whatever I could to be as accurate and truthful as I can about what happened during that summer of 1878.

FORMATION

Half-dozing at the bar, Charlie hadnt needed to look up to know that little, if any, business was coming in when Jonas entered. The slow, drawling squeak of the saloon door said it all. A thirsty man, or one hungry for a woman, always burst in. Still, these days anyone who broke up the boredom was welcome, and Charlie gave a smile.

Jonas. Long time.

Jonas nodded back. His eyes swept the big room. No sign of life beyond Charlie and two saloon girls daydreaming their way through a card game. Guess I picked the wrong place to look for cattlehands.

Been bad, said Charlie. Silver strike over in Leadville.

Colorado? Jonass face darkened and there was a little twitch in his square chin as he clenched his jaw. He spoke through closed teeth. How many went?

Just the damn fools.

Which means everybody.

That sums it up. Now it was Charlies turn to sweep his eyes from one side of the empty saloon to the other. Once bright walls were dull with age and smoke and grime and mostly neglect. Usually bawdy patrons colored the view, but not now. Though maybe Im a damn fool for staying. Get you a whisky? Beer?

A trickle of sweat rolled down Jonass neck, but he shook his head. Only drink to celebrate. Dont see that happening today.

The younger of the women, a sprightly thing named Elliewith a bosom large enough her feet stayed dry in the rainchecked the exposed tops of her breasts for perspiration, seeing none but dabbing them with her kerchief just in case. Pearl, the wiser of the two, placed a black eight on a red nine and offered up quiet advice. Waste o time.

For you, maybe.

Ellie cut off Jonas at the door with her lushest come-hither look. Think I might be just what youre looking for?

Jonas sidestepped her. Only if youre a man who can drive cattle. This time the doors creak was quick and direct as Jonas strode through to the street. It was Ellies first taste of rejection and they tell me that her jaw dropped, but I dont believe it since, like I said, she has a more than ample bosom.

This was all about three days before Mary came to my fathers bank. After Jonas had hopped off their ragged wagon to head into the Castle Royal Saloon, Mary and Katie had taken the wagon on up the dusty main street to Mickels General Store and received the same news.

No men? None at all? This was disappointing information to just about any 16-year-old girl, but especially to Katie, who only came to Secluded Springs a few times a year and now wore her newly made blue gingham dress that matched her eyes. What good was wearing a new dress if there were no men around to impress?

Mickels General Store was the essence of efficiency, at least as far as storing items was concerned. Floor-to-ceiling shelves lined every wall and even bracketed the front window. Flour, sugar, coffee. Fabric, needles, thread. Handguns, knives, sheaths. From alpaca scarves for winter warmth to zinnia seeds for summer beauty, Edward kept it in stock and his tall, lanky granddaughter, Ernestine, kept track of where it was. It was a sight to behold, but Katie saw only Edwards thats-the-way-it-is-miss face.

Mary raised an eyebrow at Katies forwardness. Its not like wed be buying men at the general store, sweetheart. There was also a hint of a smile at one corner of Marys mouth. She remembered being a rather forward girl herself, but she had no intention of letting Katie think a brazen indecency was anything but improper. She gave a slight cough to hide the smile.

I know. Its just I thought I could at least talk to one.

You should be more concerned about what this means for the ranch. Your pa came here looking for cattlehands.

Im sorry.

Katie looked toward the corner where Ernestine stretched her gangly frame to a high shelf and pulled down some burlap bags to hold the dry goods. Dont you wish there were men to talk to, Ernestine?

Ernestine was reserved to the point that she was known to even clam up around dogs. Most customers saw her back as she gathered items and saw the top of her head as she carried them, head bowed, to the counter. But her ears worked fine and while you might think the biggest bone in her tall body was a leg bone, it was actually her funny bone. The thought of her talking with a man struck her as the funniest thing shed heard in a month of Sundays and she let out a shrill, piercing howl that had Edward glancing up at the glassware for fear of cracks. Katie related to me later that it was the first time she learned what a pretty smile Ernestine kept hidden behind her veil of shyness.

The thump of Ernestine plopping a bag of sugar onto the counter drew Katies attention.

That much sugar? She took in the large amount of supplies her mom was buying. They hadnt been in town long, but the day was sure going every way but how shed expected it. No men to show off her dress to. No men for her dad to hire. That meant no cattle drive, which meant no money, which meant well, she didnt know what all it meant, but she knew it wasnt good. And now her mother was ignoring all the troubles by buying out the store. Ma, theres no sense stocking up if theres no men to drive the cattle.

You know your pa bettern that. Hell drive them himself if he has to. Mary waved a finger over the supplies, adding them up and marking them off on a checklist in her head. Better add five more pounds of flour, Ed. Those Byerly boys are big on biscuits.

Ed snapped his fingers. Almost forgot. A tiny area of the store was devoted to a telegraph machine and a basket for holding mail. Telegrams and letters to Secluded Springs were few and Edward didnt deliver them until at least a month had passed. He said he didnt sign up for deliveries, but Im pretty sure he really just thought that holding onto them was another way to get people to visit the store. Got a telegram for Jonas and another for Hank Byerly. Mind taking this one to Hank?

Mary accepted both envelopes. Sure will. And if anyone shows up who can drive cattle, Im sure Jonas would want you to send them our way.

Katie picked up a box of supplies. Even if they cant drive cattle, send em out anyway.

Mary almost dropped the envelopes. Katie!

But its so disappoi

Katie Bartlett!

Im sorry. She stared at the floor, knowing what was coming next.

When we get home, young ladythe words didnt roll off Marys tongue so much as snap off like she was taking a bite out of each onethe chicken coop needs cleaning, the root cellar needs swept out, and Ill think of more after that.

All right, Katie resigned herself to her fate. But as she glanced up to see the twinkle in Ernestines eyes as she stifled another giggle, extra chores didnt seem like too high a price.

The ride into town had been filled with expectations, the morning sun shining down like a beacon of hope. Not so heading home. The same sun now beat down on them as Jonas eased their dusty wagon past Sallys Seamstress Shop at the edge of town. Humidity hung in the air and dust from the road caught in the beads of moisture on the back of Jonass hands. He couldnt help but notice Marys eyes glance at the bright dress in the shops window. He looked at the frayed one she wore. Even after 18 years of marriage and ranching, she still had her fine looks and a figure that should be wrapped in an outfit just as fine. If he couldnt find cattlehands, more was lost than a new dress.