La Rosa - The big redhead book: inside the secret society of red hair

Inside the
Secret Society
of Red Hair

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TO MY PARENTS: I OWE YOU FOR THE RED HAIR.

TO MY BROTHER: IM GLAD YOU DONT DYE YOUR HAIR BLOND ANYMORE, ITS BETTER RED.

TO MY HUSBAND: I LOVE YOUR GINGER BEARD AND AM SO GLAD YOU LOVE ME FOR MY GINGER HAIR.

TO MY FELLOW REDS: LETS BE FRIENDS?!

Lets just get a few things out of the way: Im not a stepchild, I dont have a fiery temper, and its truly none of your business if my carpet matches the drapes. I know it can be confusing. Because those are things that seem to be openly and excitedly discussed when the topic of red hair pops up. But thats exactly why Im hereto set the record straight. Like the undeniable truth that redheads have the hotter British prince. And that, much like ice cream, red hair is our greatest natural resource and needs to be protected at all costs.

Whether you have red hair or just like to admire nice things, youve probably noticed that redheads are virtually everywhere at this pointcarrying a bow and arrow in Disney movies, Its like, what do these gingers think they are, special or something? (Spoiler alert: they are.) And even though theyre seemingly everywhere and nowhere at once, like superheroes, the questions remain: What do we really know about them? Like, is it true theyre going extinct? Or that they all came from Ireland? And do they hold redhead coven meetings? Because, ya know, theyre witches right?

Its only natural to have questions about gingers, especially if you are one. We look different than everyone elsethat hair-the-color-of-a-sunset thingand because of that people sometimes think were different in other ways. Like you may have heard the vicious rumor brunettes started that we dont have souls. Or that if you kiss us on Saint Patricks Day its good luck. And its hard to know what to believe anymoreour eyes are naturally drawn to the fiery embrace of red hair, and yet society gives us mixed messages about what it means to be ginger (some good, some less so).

As a natural redhead, I want to answer your questions. In fact, Im going to be wonderfully honest about why having red hair puts you in a class all your own. So heres the truth: were pretty much the unicorns of the human world. Think about it: were rare (only 2 percent of the worlds population), beautiful (hello, Jessica Chastain), and have the ability to fly (see any of the Weasley family in Harry Potter). And because were magical unicorns, we have a lot of secrets too; things that only redheads know to be true until now.

Whether you have a tinge of ginge, know a redhead, or are just a run-of-the-mill red enthusiast, youve come to the right place. Welcome! Ill be serving as your guide into the realm of all things ginger. Youre getting exclusive access into one of the most elite societies in the worldon par with Adeles squad and the Illuminati. And Im going to let you in on all the top-secret things that only redheads understand. From why redheads actually smell different (and arguably better) than everyone else to how to raise a little redhead of your own, this book grants you a look inside our mysterious lives.

If youre a redhead yourself, then I know you have questions. Like, why do people always assume ginger women are sex kittens? And is it just you, or does going to the dentist seem like the most terrifying thing? Ive got answers to those pressing matters and so much more. Its my job to remind you on each and every page that your red hair is a gift that goes way beyond hair color. By the end of this book youll understand all the reasons why and feel empowered to share that gift with the rest of the world. (Youre welcome.) But dont worry, my fellow reds: just because Im sharing our most classified intel doesnt mean it cheapens anything we have. Nothing can touch the specialness of our ginger locks. And even if people know the ins and outs of being red, it doesnt mean they can ever fully be red. For instance, only redheads know the unspoken way we acknowledge fellow reds in public. Its like a superpower! You know what Im talking aboutthat thing where you see another redhead out in the wild and give them a little nod of encouragement, a smile, curtsy, or tap dance. I think our ginger queen, Julianne Moore, explained it best when she said, We redheads are a minority, we tend to notice each other, you know, and notice our identity. Lets go ahead and call this the Gingers Unite sighting. #GingersUnite

And like so many formative experiences, my first sighting happened in middle school during a summer theater camp. On that day, I stumbled into the black-box theater and adjusted my stirrup pants, slicked my tongue across my shiny metal braces, and scanned the crowd for an empty chair. Which is when I saw Katie, a fellow ginger. She and I locked eyes and thats when it happenedmy first Gingers Unite sighting. Sure, Id seen redheads before, and my brother had red hair too, but this was different. When I looked at Katie, she and I had a moment of recognition. It was like we both knew that no matter what, we had each others backs. We were in this together, because we were cut from the same crimson cloth. She understood what it was like to be teased just because of hair color, the same way that I knew the horror of complete strangers trying to touch my hair. We accepted each other. And it was one of the most powerful and true feelings of my life.

There you have it, normswhich is what Ill call non-redheads from here on outnow you know whats happening when one redhead spots another. We have a connection. Its just one of the many hot tips Ill be sharing. And while a norm can never experience what it actually means to be a real redhead and sense that unspoken camaraderie, Ill give you the tools to soak up everything ginger. Because its these little details that make redheads stand out in the world. And we are all over the worldnot just in Ireland, as you may have been led to believebecause redheads arent defined by one ethnicity: youll find redheads from Brazil to Norway to Ghana, and all the points in between. Were different, and thats not just OKits amazing.

If it seems like I totally drank the red Kool-Aid and only believe in reds ruling the earth, thats only partially true. I had a sip, and want to share my drink with you all so we can go into this book experience with clear eyes and full redhead hearts so we cant lose. And Im not trying to make the norms feel bad about their lack of ginger hair. Im not. Being born without red hair isnt the end of the world. Its regrettable, but not the worst-case scenario. Being born norm just means its important to educate yourself about redhead culture. For example, you may not know that only redheads can call other reds, ginger. Otherwise, its totally offensive and not a word we take kindly to.