Green Louise - Big fit girl: embrace the body you have

Big Fit Girl

Copyright 2017 by Louise Green

Foreword copyright 2017 by Jess Weiner

Photographs 2017 Vairdy Photography

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the publisher or a license from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For a copyright license, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

Greystone Books Ltd.

www.greystonebooks.com

Cataloguing data available from Library and Archives Canada

ISBN 978-1-77164-212-5 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-1-77164-213-2 (epub)

Editing by Nancy Flight

Copyediting by Jennifer Croll

Proofreading by Jennifer Stewart

Cover design by Peter Cocking

Text design by Nayeli Jimenez

Cover photograph by Vairdy Photography

We gratefully acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts, the British Columbia Arts Council, the Province of British Columbia through the Book Publishing Tax Credit, and the Government of Canada for our publishing activities.

The advice in this book has been carefully considered and checked by the author and publisher. It should not, however, be regarded as a substitute for medical advice. We recommend talking to your doctor before starting any new exercise routine.

FOR CHRIS FOR showing me what is possible and for all the big girls who are ready to live their athletic dreams. I believe in you.

CONTENTS

By Jess Weiner

FOREWORD

FOR THE PAST two decades, Ive focused my personal and professional energy on the betterment of women and girls, helping them find their own road to self-discovery and confidence. Much like a personal trainer for the mind, Ive developed curriculums and exercises, clocking countless miles working alongside teens, moms, and everyday women around the world, showing them how to flex their self-esteem muscles, adopt a healthy mindset, and nurture a strong self-image. Admittedly, even my own path has navigated bumps and sharp turns. While Ive always considered myself athletic, my body type didnt necessarily fit the mold of what our culture would consider an athletic build.

Reflecting back on the decades of my life, fitness served me in different ways, which in turn directly impacted how I felt in my body. Ive now realized that my body wasnt just a vessel that helped me reach my fitness goalsit served as a catalyst for change. Good change. Necessary change. Regardless of my age, Ive learned to never let the size of my body stop me from moving it.

In my twenties, I challenged preconceived notions of what my body could endure. At age twenty-six and a size 16, I ran my first marathon. I didnt do it to place, I did it to finish and to accomplish a goal that I never thought possible while raising funds and awareness for an AIDS charity I was involved with. As I closed in on the finish line nearly eight hours into the race, the large crowds that once served as my motivation had dissipated, and my body was crippled with fatigue. I pushed myself to cross the line and looking back, I now realize how I worked with my body to achieve my goal. We were partners; my body didnt have to be my enemy after all.

As I moved into my thirties, I found fitness to be a curative escape from what was happening in my life After a very long relationship that culminated in a dramatic breakup, I was single and needed something to balance the rollercoaster of emotions I was facing. Call it rebound therapy, but I decided to take on pole dancing. It was a liberating exercise and allowed me to find a sensual softness I had lost during the long-term relationship. Yet again, my body proved it could do things I never thought possible.

Today, at forty-two, I look at health and my relationship with my body in a different way. My focus is less on my bodys appearance and more on its longevity. Im married to the love of my life and together, we choose to see fitness as a way to express our care for ourselves and each other.

I treat the entire concept of moving my body differently now. Essentially, I look for ways to motivate myself to care for my body to allow me to prolong living this incredible life Ive created. The answer for me lately has been boxing. It not only serves as a physical workout, but also a way for me to mentally train, de-stress, and pound out over two decades of negative thoughts. When I lace up the gloves, Im looking to build power, stamina, and mental fortitude more so than trying to improve muscle definition. Regardless, boxing is a never-ending fitness challenge that allows me to push my limits.

No matter what road youve traveled in your relationship with your body and wellness, I believe in an infinite number of do-overs. It is always the right time to redefine your connection to moving, growing, and developing a deep self-appreciation for everything your body (whatever its appearance) allows you to do.

In this love letter to our inner athletes, Louise inspires us to challenge labels and cultural perceptions. From sharing her own personal journey to providing step-by-step guidance on how to build both our mental and physical stamina, Big Fit Girl shows us how to work with, not against our bodiesregardless of shape and size. She reminds us that the why is just as important as the how when it comes to exercise. Read along as Louise shows us how to defy stereotypes, embrace our bodies, and squash our own limitations.

Your body, heart, and mind will thank you for it.

Yours in empowerment,

JESS WEINER

INTRODUCTION

Finding My Way to Limitless

IN MY EARLY twenties, this was my life: I drank alcohol excessively, smoked cigarettes, and regularly ate greasy Chinese food from the mall food court. I was mostly sedentary: I worked a desk job, and my evenings revolved around my couch and several glasses of wine. The only time I exercised was in fleeting three-day bursts in an attempt to fix my unhealthy lifestyle.

No matter how hard I tried to change, I would fall off the wagon and revert to my old habits. I promised myself every single night that the next day would be different. It never was. What was I doing wrong? My sporadic and extreme attempts to incorporate fitness and healthy eating into my life were accompanied by a heavy dose of self-loathing, and I became trapped in a vicious cycle of indulgence and self-denial.

Most days I woke up hung over. As I pulled myself out of bed, my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. I would take a long shower to try to wash it all awaythe nicotine that lingered on my skin, the feelings of self-hatred, the fatigue. Standing in front of the mirror, I would ask myself: How did I get here?

I felt a great deal of anxiety due to my lack of self-control and the impact my unhealthy habits had on my body. I felt trapped and unfulfilled, a long way from the ideal woman I imagined I could be. During my days working a job I didnt love, I projected the image of a happy, normal young woman. I would push down my internal upheaval and put on a smile. I hung out with friends, attended office functions, and spent time with my boyfriend. On the outside, things looked fairly normal. On the inside, I was full of sadness and turmoil.