McCarthy - Baby laughs: the naked truth about the first year of mommyhood

To my motherI know you really blew out your vagina giving birth to me. If I knew then what I know now, I would have tried to crawl out through your ear canal. Thanks for pushing so hard!!

To my sistersThank you for supporting me during my delivery by making disgusting faces and shaking your heads in horror. Thanks for being my wall of strength.

To my illustrator, Grantdude, you are so freaking talented. Thank you for giving extra baby laughs to the new mommies who could use some.

Last but not least, to my son, Evan. I love your laugh. I love your stinky feet. I love putting bubbles in your hair. I love the way you look at me and I promise you I will love you until the end of time.

(Mommyhood)

I m so excited to be a mom, and I hope you are too!!

Its without a doubt the coolest, greatest, and most fulfilling thing that has ever happened to me. Has it been hard? Yeah, of course, but its a GREAT hard. There are so many rewards to this kind of hard. I said in my last book that, after my delivery, I would do it all over again in a second. And I tell you this: After my babys first year, I would do it all over again in a second.

Im sure youve run into those people who try to scare you with horror stories. People would tell me in my ninth month that my life was going to be over. I hated hearing that I wasnt going to be able to do anything anymore. My freedom was gone. But know what I tell them now? My life isnt overits only just begun!

I cant believe it took me twenty-nine years of life to finally bring my son into this world. Am I glad I waited? OF COURSE! But I cant imagine how the world even survived without this precious little spirit being here. Hes made me a better person. I realize whats important in life now, and I cant wait to spoil him with love.

People always say that the love of your child is so much different from any other kind of love. I would always say, Yeah, yeah, I love my mom so much that Im sure its not that far off. But it is. Its not that its more or less love, its just that it consumes every part of your DNA. This baby is part of you. This baby will love YOU unconditionally, and its up to YOU to mold this child into a beautiful being.

Wow, I sound all spiritual and shit. Hey, it happens! While you read this book, I might just take you to that spiritual place, but for the most part Ill be making you laugh your ass off. There are plenty of Baby Laughs youll get to experience on your own. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy mine and learn a little something along the way.

Welcome to the new club, girls. The First-Year Mommy Club. But its a new millennium, ladies, and its our duty to make moms even better. So dig in and enjoy the book, cuz as I said before, Move over, Mrs. Cleaver, theres a new bitch in town! And this bitch is gonna make sure moms across the world look damn good!!