Parker - Strong Is the New Pretty

Strong
is the new pretty A Celebration of Girls Being Themselves Kate T. Parker Workman Publishing New York For all the fearless, strong, and amazing girls who inspired the following pages.
Special thanks to my two beautiful, strong girls, Ella and Alice, who make me laugh every day. I love you. Contents Introduction When I was seven, my hair was long and thick and nearly reached my waist. Most days it was in a messy ponytail (not much has changed). At that same time in my life, my main goals were to first, be exactly like my two older brothers and second, kick butt on the soccer field just like they did.

It wasnt lost on me that most boys didnt need to spend time painfully getting their knots brushed out or putting in ponytailsand their hair didnt get in their face while they played sports. I began to realize that the hair had to go. It was a time suck. I had games to play and goals to score. I didnt want just a trim. Nope, go big or go home was my attitude.

I wanted it to look like my brothers hair. Chop it all, please. Not exactly what you saw every day on suburban New Jersey girls circa 1983. However, my parents both fully supported me. The results were exactly what I wanted, and I didnt care what other people were going to think. I loved my new hair so damn much.

The day after I had my hair cut, I walked proudly into second grade. My new look was the bomb. Not one single part of me thought it didnt look good or girls should have long hair or it wasnt feminine. You know why? It never occurred to me that girls had to do this, or be that, or look a certain way. I had never been told that girls shouldnt play sports, or be loud, or question everything, or get their hair cut exactly like their big brothers. I loved that my parents allowed me to be whoever I really was.

I still love them for that. And now, as a mother of two young daughters, I try to do the same for my girls. My husband and I encourage loudness, silliness, fearlessness, confidence, strength, and individuality. We let them wear their hair however they want. (The goal is brushed.) My husband and I aim to celebrate who they are, just as they are. This photo series started as a personal project.

I work as a professional photographer, but Im also a mom (the mom with the giant camera and bag of lenses at most events). And its not uncommon for me to be photographing my girls and their friendsconstantlywhen theyre riding their bikes, at soccer practice, or exploring tide pools while on vacation. The more I shot, the more I began to notice that the strongest images, the ones that resonated most with me, were the ones in which the girls were being 100 percent themselves. When they were messy and funny and stubborn and joyful and in your face, I kept shooting. I didnt ask them to smile or go put on a pretty dress. I wanted to capture these girls as they were, and how they were was amazing.

I wanted to continue capturing them in just that waynot just for my sake, but for theirs, too. As a body of work emerged, I kept at it with more intention. I wanted to show my girls that beauty isnt about being a certain size, or having your hair done (or even brushed, in their cases), or wearing a fancy outfit. I wanted to combat the messages the media sends to women every day. I wanted my girls to know that being themselves is beautiful, and that being beautiful is about being strong. Strong Is the New Pretty was born.

As the project began to receive more attention, I knew I had the opportunity to expand it, to show strength in all its varied forms. I began traveling to meet young women from all over the country, from Florida to Colorado to New York to Texas to Hawaii and lots of places in between. In fact, there are almost 200 girls represented here, from all over North America. More important, they represent a vast number of human stories, ranging from small moments of achievement to persistent struggles against adversity, from lifting oneself up to lending a helping hand or offering a hug. Though my personal experience with identifying and owning my own strength as a girl was through athletics, there is strength in the quiet moments, toostrength in the intellect, in nurturing your curiosity and being able to ask questions, in being creative and kind, in bold displays of anger and joy, and in quiet determination. Every girl I met is amazing.

I feel honored to share their stories and imagesand their strengthwith you: the look on on the football field. Its my goal with these images to inspire girls and women to be their best selves, to challenge and test their limits. We all are constantly bombarded with societal messages about how women and girls should act or look or be, and processing them in a healthy way can be hard even for a 40-year-old mother of two who knows better. I worry about what my girls and their friends are exposed to and how their opinions of their bodies and selves are being shaped by the internet and TV and magazines. I want these images to combat those negative voices that tell us were not good enough or thin enough or whatever enough. Loudly. Loudly.

When I was seven, being myself meant wrestling with my brothers; it meant bugging my sister (I was the youngest, obviously), sporting a bowl cut and soccer jersey, and listening to Blondie on my record player. For my own girls, it means being a singing, dancing, trampoline expert and a soccer-playing skater dude. The truth is, strong means many things and is revealed in many ways. My hope is that youll see that on the following pages. These young women are the definition of strength and beauty, in all its varied forms. The author, age 8 Let the wind whistle in your hair and whisper to yourself: I can do anything.

Shonda Rhimes Confident Is Strong I n the workforce, women earn an estimated average of just seventy-nine cents for every dollar their male counterparts make. In sports broadcasting, female athletic competitions represent 5 percent of the allotted airtime. And in film and television, female protagonists make up only 12 percent of cinematic roles. Tell that to , with her unwavering poise as she balances on pointe. These girls are intelligent and clever, talented and strongand they know it. They are confident.

And they offer hope, toohope that the inequity will disappear as this generation of girls grows into adulthood. The confidence that they display in these photos will push them through the times when they feel hesitant or unsure or nervous. Confidence will push them, period. The challenge is in holding on to this power, this confidence, so they can help fuel the change that the world needs. Do them a favor and remind these girls of their strength. Often. Often.

Write it down if you need to: the ways in which you are smart, the ways in which you are qualified, the ways in which you are strong. Put them on your wall, say them out loudinternalize them. Believe them. Remind these girls of their strength. Dont let them waste any precious time wishing they looked like anyone else. I have earned fourteen state titles, three district titles, and six world rankings in karate. I have earned fourteen state titles, three district titles, and six world rankings in karate.

Maya age 9